This is not how it is done!

Throughout this year my husband and I have been members of Weight Watchers.  We both have the app on our phones and have been tracking what we eat and activity.  It has worked well for both of us and we have lost many pounds and both of us feel much better with the weight loss. 

So recently amid great fanfare, Weight Watchers launched their new web site and app for their members.  The goal is to push people toward healthier eating and lifestyles.  The new Smart Points plan incorporates healthy eating, sensible portions of food, increased activity and holistic approaches to living better.  Fine, fine, fine. 

Unfortunately whatever company Weight Watchers used to redesign their web site and apps somehow did not get the message.  They launched a web site and new apps that are clunky, not customer friendly, not easy to use and seem to crash easily and often.  The new system was launched around Thanksgiving and is still not working well. 

I easily admit that I am a digital immigrant.  Luckily I teach at a college and have many students who are willing to kindly step in and help me when I come across technology that is new to me.  Yet even my best digital native cannot help the crappy launch of the new Weight Watchers tools. 

You do not treat your current, loyal customers the way we have been treated by Weight Watchers.  Weight Watchers own technology people do not know how the tools are to work.  We keep getting messages that the site is down and they are "working tirelessly" to get it back up again.  Weight loss tools that worked well are now gone, replaced with "cutting edge technology" that does not work and is not user friendly. 

In addition they designed the tools for iPhones (even so they still do not work) and forgot that many users have Andriod phones. 

Shame, Shame, Shame!  Weight Watchers you were sold a bill of goods by whoever designed your tools.  They do not work and I have not seen any results of your "around the clock" efforts to make them better. 

I may be a digital immigrant but this is not the way to treat your members and customers! 

Out of Pain Comes Growth

This week I read an article by Dr. Everett Piper, President of Oklahoma Wesleyan University (This is not a day care. It's a university!)  In the article Dr. Piper talked about students who approach him complaining about topics that make them feel uncomfortable.  He went on to say that it is not the goal of the university to make students feel safe and comfortable but to challenge them to have feelings that will make them change. 

This topic was also brought to mind when I was teaching my Introduction to Psychology class this week.  We were talking about psychological therapies, and the discussion was on mental health counseling.  One student raised her hand as I was describing the counseling relationship and asked whether counseling should make you uncomfortable.  What an excellent question!  Yes, if a therapist and a client/patient are in too comfortable of a relationship then there will not be any progress.  I was trying to demonstrate to the class that although certain types of counseling used empathy and unconditional positive regard as part of the therapeutic process there should also be discomfort or the client/patient will not make any movement toward a healthier emotional state.

This semester I have been immersed in the concepts of microaggressions and trigger words as I have been working with students and also teaching classes.  This got me thinking about how people fear discomfort. 

Life is not here to provide you with a comfortable existence!  In fact if we all get too comfortable then we will not make any progress, both physically or emotionally.  We will present ourselves as "victims" and see others as "oppressors."  As people who are runners and physical fitness experts know, out of the pain of a workout comes progress toward physical fitness goals.  As I was getting a massage this week I also thought that out of the pain of the massage will come new comfort for me and my muscles. 

I see my students and many other people wanting to have a comfortable academic and emotional life.  Again that is not the way the process works!  Out of the pain of conflict or discord comes reconciliation and understanding.   I don't see myself growing as an individual unless I challenge myself and my beliefs and emotions.  It is through the challenge that I grow as a person, parent, friend, Christian and wife. 

So embrace the challenges and discomfort.  They will lead you to an existence as a stronger person and someone who knows where you stand and what you believe. 

The New Normal

"What day is it? " asked Pooh
"It's today!" squeaked Piglet
"My favorite day" said Pooh

A. A. Milne

This quote is one of my favorites.  It reminds me to live in the moment and not to worry about tomorrow or to fret about yesterday.  I am a worrier and a fretter.  I really try to stay in the present and experience life as it is happening but thoughts of yesterday and tomorrow keep creeping into my mind and stealing the joy of the moment from me.

Right now my main worry is about my son, James and grandson, Ronan.  James' relationship with Ronan's mom has ended and with many relationship endings it has not been harmonious.  Stuck in the middle is an almost three-year-old boy who misses his dad and does not understand what is happening.  Life today for him is not the same as it was a few weeks ago.

I know that in the end the best will work out for everyone.  Ronan is not the only child who must learn to live between the homes of both his parents and juggle new relationships.   He will survive and probably thrive in the future once this is all sorted out and becomes routine.

For now my heart is hurting and I just want to gather him up in my arms and tell him everything will be all right.  I have to let this play out  and be resolved between his parents and know Ronan will be fine with his new normal.

James will have a new normal, working out custody arrangements and becoming accustomed to the times he will have Ronan with him.

If you are reading this and know us please take a moment to say a prayer or send good thoughts our way as we strive toward what our lives will be in the future.    

It's sort of like summer camp, with lots of alcohol!

Last weekend I did something that took me way out of my comfort zone.  I attended the Indiana Romance Writers of America fall retreat at Bradford Woods.  There were about 20 women who spent the weekend together.   All of the others were published romance authors.  I was the newbie in the group. 

For me this was something that was a huge step in my process to become a romance writer.  I had met some of the women at meetings and events.  The thought of spending a weekend with a group of people I hardly knew was daunting and a little overwhelming.  Being the introvert that I am joining a group of people I do not know for a weekend retreat was not something I would usually do. 

So I arrived there on Friday evening.  Many of the women were already there and were gathered in the living room, laptops in hand.  I introduced myself to the group and got a big hug from Nan Reinhardt (one of my favorite authors).  Trying to act cool and not go all "fan girl" on her I hugged her back and was told the names of the others in the group.  Many of the women there were authors I had read recently or whose books are in my to be read list on my Kindle. 

I was staying in a room with five other women.  In the bed next to me was Jillian Jacobs (author of the O-Line series, I had just downloaded her book, Ember's Center).  I did not put all this together until later in the weekend but I was in the presence of many women who had successfully navigated the publishing process.  Here I am joking and laughing with them, being accepted and I have not even finished my first book! 

We spent the weekend learning about the craft of writing and how to present a great finished product for publication.  Others read excerpts from their books and we talked about how to handle safe sex during a first sexual encounter.  We also critiqued some of the read sexual encounters and how they could be done and described in a way that was anatomically realistic.  They talked about the changes in publishing and Amazon and how it has seriously impacted their income from the sales of books.  The final night many of them threw rejection letters, disappointments and other barriers to success in the living room fire in a communal experience of moving on.  The entire weekend was littered with lots of alcohol and everyone attached to their laptops writing their next books. 

Personally I got lots of writing done.  More than that I spent the weekend soaking up the fellowship of a group of women who accepted and encouraged me in my journey to become a romance novelist.  The weekend ended with us all saying we would meet again next year.  My commitment was that I would have a finished novel for critique and sharing at the next retreat.

I attended that weekend not knowing what to expect except that I was stepping outside of my "known".  I left that weekend having made friends with a group of women who I admire and also know that I want to, and can be, like them.  I can finish a romance novel and bring it to publication. 

It was a wonderful experience for me. 

Choose Joy

Recently I was talking to a friend about an acquaintance of ours who spends her time wallowing in negativity.  This person can take any conversation and turn it into a rant about the horrors of her life within seconds.  I told my friend that I have found myself avoiding that acquaintance because I just don't like how she makes me feel with her negative take on everything in her life.

I am one of those people who can easily slip into depression.  I have battled it all my life.  Things seem to go along fine and then one day I seem to be looking at life from the bottom of a pit of despair.  Before I know it I am living in a world full of grayness and looking to get out of the pit and see the sun again.  Sometimes I can stop the slide into darkness and get myself heading into the right direction before it gets too bad.  Yet sadness and negativity are insidious, they inch themselves into your psyche and you don't even know it until you find yourself in the pit again. 

So knowing my personal struggles it amazes me about the number of people who live their lives wallowing in the negativity rather than choosing joy.  For me, joy beats darkness any day.  I would rather see the world through the lens of joy because the darkness is scary.  Some people are so negative and critical of everything in their lives that I have chosen to not be involved with those people.  

Several people I know are also battling the darkness.  It becomes especially difficult when we are facing the long winter days where it is difficult to see the sun and enjoy the outdoors.  I send encouragement their way sometimes they are fighting for their lives. 

So my advice for today is "Choose Joy."  Don't let yourself be drawn into the pit of darkness and negativity.  Be grateful for the blessings in your life and look to find the light rather than the darkness.  I will work on the gratitude and happiness also.  A joy filled life is what I wish for everyone. 

Time Change Musings

I love fall.  It is probably my favorite season of the year - besides the fact it is followed by winter.  I love the sunny warm days and cool, crisp nights.  There is nothing better than donning a sweater or sweatshirt for a walk on a cool fall day. 

Last week I was walking my dogs and the sidewalks were covered by leaves.  While I was walking through the leaves the swish - crunch sound they made as my shoes moved through them reminded me of times as a kid.  There was nothing more fun that making huge piles of leaves and then running through or falling into them and then starting all over again. 

This last weekend we moved from Daylight Savings Time to regular time (I guess non-Daylight Savings Time).  I much prefer the fall back of the autumn change to the spring forward of the March change.  Unfortunately my dogs have not received the news of the time change.  They are telling me at 8:00 it is time to go to bed - according to their internal clocks it is our regular bed time, which was 9:00 throughout the summer.  Hopefully we all get on the same page about bedtime and the clock.  Of course that will probably be about the time we "spring forward" after the first of the year. 

I have often thought that my perfect weather would be a glorious fall, then a short winter, just through Christmas.  Then we can move onto spring right after the first of the year, avoiding those long, dark months of January and February.  Of course if we had perfect weather then everyone would want to move to Indiana. 

Getting off the interstate and seeing small town Indiana

It's fall in Indiana where we live.  The weather is getting colder, the trees are turning and the fields are being harvested.  For the last two weekends we have traveled to Oxford Ohio for Miami University football and hockey games. 

The first weekend we went we were getting onto I-70 to drive over to Oxford from Indianapolis.  As we were starting our journey we read one of the digital boards over the highway telling us that I-70 was closed at a certain point in our route due to an accident.  We decided to get off of the interstate in Greenfield that day and take Route 40 - The National Highway into Ohio.  We had always talked about doing this but never made the time. 

That weekend the trip was all right until we hit one of the towns near the accident on I-70.  Then we could see that everyone had exited the interstate and had the same idea we did.  Traffic came to a stop and moved at a crawl through all the small towns along 40.  The trip took longer than we anticipated but we finally made it to Centerville and were able to take the back roads to Oxford. 

After that experience we decided to take the same route again the next week.  The next trip was totally different.  Where there was traffic along 40 and all the small towns were backed up with people trying to avoid the accident the week before, this week we enjoyed a leisurely trip with minimal traffic. 

Did you know there is a Cleveland, Indiana or a Dublin Indiana or a Lewisville Indiana?  I did not until we got off the interstate and took Route 40 through all those small towns.  We saw fields being harvested and roadside stands selling pumpkins and gourds.  We stopped at one stand outside Knightstown to try and get a few additional fall mums.  The mums had been killed by the frost the night before but I did score a few pumpkins and gourds. 

It was a beautiful day to get off the interstate and take a much more relaxed drive across Indiana and into Ohio.  We spent last Saturday enjoying football, fall weather and a great hockey game where Miami University beat THE Ohio State University. 

It took me all of Sunday to recover from the festivities and travel.  But, that is another post for another day.

Transitions

Ok, raise your hand.  Who loves change?  No takers?  Personally I know change is a part of our lives.  We can probably add to the old saying that we all face death, taxes and constant change.  For me the most frustrating change is when one of my digital devices gets an "update" and suddenly everything looks different.  It is especially difficult for my husband.  We are both digital immigrants but he is probably more of an immigrant than I am. 

So recently Bob and I were talking about what we would put on our Christmas card this year.  We do one of those custom holiday cards with photos from the year we have just completed.  Our card has included of both us and our son James with the NHL Stanley Cup.  We have had photos of us with the USHL Clark Cup (both times when the Indiana Ice hockey team won it). It has also included photos of us with our son James and his family (including our grandson, Ronan the Magnificent).

We did not do a holiday card last year because it was in the middle of my completion of my doctorate and planning of graduation and a party.  So this year we need to catch up.

This year has been a year of transitions.  I finished graduate school and got my doctorate.

Our grandson Ronan is approaching three (going on thirty) and is making the transition from a toddler to a boy. 

Two of our hockey players are in their senior year at Miami and will be graduating in the spring.

So you have a preview of what will be included in our holiday card this year. 

As I said we live in a state of constant change.  It is all wonderful because all of us have achieved goals we have set for ourselves.  Yet it is also bittersweet because things will not be the same next year at this time. 

For me (being someone who is a glass half full kind of person) I will be sad for the changes in our lives yet also I know that the future will bring new experiences and possibilities.   We already have one hockey player wedding on our schedule for next year (TJ Syner is marrying his long time love).  Ronan will continue to grow and mature and will be looking at preschool next year.  Bob and I will continue to set new goals for ourselves and face (and enjoy) the changes in our lives. 

Transitions may be something we really don't want but they are a fact of life.  Who knows what the future may bring? 

All This for Four Feet of Pavement!

I live in the north so usually the orange construction barrels come out in late February in our area.  This year the major street near our house was blocked off for construction in the early spring.  The crews started taking out the medians and chewing up the pavement with large machines.  We found out that they were installing bike lanes on this one mile stretch of a major north/south street on our side of town. 

So for months we have endured closed lanes, two lanes of traffic compressed into one lane and barrels and road blocks.  Then in April and May the rains came.  We had one of the rainiest springs ever this year so road construction came to a stand still for weeks. 

Once the rain stopped and the skies cleared the construction did not continue.  We all watched for weeks as we were waiting in traffic in this area and there would be no one working.  People began complaining and the powers that be in our city said that the construction had been delayed because of the rain.  Sure, but for weeks after the rain stopped!  There is nothing more discouraging that sitting in traffic day after day and there is NO ONE working on the project.  Then we heard that the company that bid the job had to move onto other projects because of the rain delay.  What!  It seems to me that they would be required to finish what they started before moving on to other tasks. 

The contractor secured a one month extension on the project, so something that was supposed end September 1 was extended until October first.  Lately, as we get closer and closer to the beginning of October the activity has been picking up and lanes have been reopened. 

Collateral damage from this project was our little side streets and the streets in our small neighborhood.  As all these drivers sought to find ways around the traffic congestion they found our neighborhood and we were deluged with lines of commuters trying to get to work in the morning and get home in the evening.  Needless to say that now our streets are all torn up and we are not even close to the list to get them repaved.

So as they are opening lanes we are finding new pavement, new lane lines and a four foot wide bike path.  We went through months and months of congestion, traffic, accidents, horns blowing and people being generally nasty, as well as our now torn up streets for four feet of pavement for bike riders.

Was it all worth it? 

No more excuses!

Ever since I was a child I have been told that I am too quiet.  My mother said I needed to get over my shyness.  I was too brainy and did not join in with other children.  She tried to help me overcome my quietness by dropping me off at several week-long camps, or taking dance lessons or pushing me into the spotlight with music lessons.  I know she meant well but I continued to be quiet and "too brainy" by her description.

As I became an adult and continued my journey through education and psychology I later realized that what she called shyness was really introversion.  What she called shyness was really my need to draw my energy from quiet activities, reading, needlework, gardening and walking my dogs.  I am really not that terribly shy, I am just not a person who needs to be in the spotlight all the time.  I find my self a good second in command, the person behind the person.  I also can take the lead, I do it several times a week when I am teaching college classes. 

There is now a movement, started by author Susan Cain, for those of us who are introverts.  After completing her book "Quiet" and making the promotional rounds about her research and writing Susan Cain started the "Quiet Revolution" where she talks about all things that make those of us who are introverts the way we are.  In spite of our need for quiet pursuits we make good leaders (we are better listeners) and we don't shy away from making decisions, we just put a little more thought into them than someone who is more impulsive. 

Susan Cain's talk, The Power of Introverts, on Ted.com (http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts) is one of the most watched videos on that web site.  I often show it in the psychology classes I teach when we are covering the topic of personality.  Invariably I will get an email from a student after that talk thanking me for helping them to not feel like such a freak in this world filled with extroverts and those who draw their energy from crowds. 

I am coming to realize that those of us who are introverts really enjoy finding someone with similar traits to ours because other like-minded and quiet-seeking introverts are not trying to suck all the oxygen from a room with their expansive personalities. 

So no more excuses.  I am the person I am, quiet and all.  I am no longer going to feel like I have to explain or pretend to be someone I am not just to fit in.  If the extroverts don't like it they can just keep talking to each other. 

Rest in Heaven, Cowfan!

Things have been a little sad recently.  My husband and I learned that one of our longtime friends died recently. 

Bob(my husband) met Ty while Ty was still in college.  He asked my husband for a job working at the concerts my husband produced.  Bob hired Ty as a runner, someone who works the day of show getting items for the band and their road crew.  From that beginning Ty became a friend to both of us for over 30 years. 

Ty had nicknames for everyone.  Bob was "the Bald One" and I was "C-Mac"  He was in our lives through jobs, the birth of our son, the ups and downs of his life, the birth of our grandson and my graduation with a doctorate.  The last few years Ty fell on some hard times, often struggling financially.  Several times Bob would see Ty riding his bicycle and give him a ride to where ever he was going.  We knew he had cancer and was getting treatment. 

One thing Ty did annually was host a NFL weekly football pool.  Bob participated in it annually and it made the football season more fun for him, matching wits with Ty and others in the pool on who made the best picks for the week.  When Ty did not send out his announcement for this year Bob was worried that his cancer had come back.  I did some research on Facebook and found out Ty had died on August 10.  He died surrounded by people who loved him.  Somehow through the vagaries of the workings of Facebook I did not see all the posts about Ty's final days, passing and memorial service.  So Bob and I are mourning his passing ourselves. 

I know that as Ty stepped from this world into Jesus' arms in heaven he was no longer in pain or suffering from the affects of cancer and its treatments.  It's a sad NFL season for Bob and anyone else who knew Cowfan (Ty's name in the pool). 

Rest in Heaven, Cowfan!  Know that you are loved and remembered fondly, especially on football Sundays when the NFL is playing.  We will miss you. 

"Dear Prudence"

The title of this blog post has nothing to do with the content.  Saturday night we took several friends to see the Classical Mystery Tour at Symphony on the Prairie at Conner Prairie.  Classical Mystery Tour is a Beatles tribute act.  Dear Prudence is one of the Lennon/McCartney songs they played that night and it is one of my favorites.  (from The Beatles White Album, 1968)  

This evening was similar to the evening I described at an earlier concert.  The crowd was huge, the place was packed with Beatles fans.  Near us there was a table of people in their late 60's (I would guess) who all came in their tie-dyed garb.  They had tee shirts and dresses that were tie-dyed and the women even had flowers in their hair (tie-dyed of course). 

Much of the crowd spent the concert in front of the stage dancing and enjoying the show.  There was one elderly man (dressed like the captain of a yacht, complete with hat) who danced the night away with several women.  He seemed to have one lady who was his favorite dance partner and then other ladies joined him throughout the night.  Were they a group of friends who had attended this event together or were they just a group of people who found each other that night?  Whatever the circumstances they definitely enjoyed the evening.  There was another woman who danced alone, delighting herself and her audience.  Later a man joined her.  I wonder if those two knew each other or just met up and enjoyed dancing the night away to Beatles tunes.  The romance writer in me wants to think they were strangers who found each other on a summer night to the background melody of Beatles' love songs. 

I love to watch the crowd at a concert.  This night there were families, with young children all the way to seniors who probably saw the Beatles live (as I did).  There were probably people who were there at Woodstock, or who at least were old enough to have been there.  We had a wonderful time meeting up with friends and enjoying an evening of fun, food and friendship. 

The night was hot and sultry but the music was sweet and the dancing was lovely. 

"Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play?"  (Lennon/McCartney) 

Summer with my Grandson

Recently my husband and I visited Nashville TN again to see our grandson.  This time we planned a four day visit over a weekend so we could spend time with him and give his mom a break over a time when his dad (our son) was out touring with Jamey Johnson.

The first day we spent it at the pool.  We swam, splashed, and he had a great time throwing everything in the pool so we could fetch it.  That included goggles, flip flops, shoes and sunglasses.  We drew the line when he tried to throw his beloved cowboy boots in the water.

"Ronan, No!  The water will ruin your boots.  Put them back in the your bag." 

He finally realized that we were serious about the danger of water for his boots so he did put them away as we finished our swim. 

Then we had lunch at Sonic and he had a great time eating a hot dog. (hot dog in one hand, bun in the other).  A police officer came to our area to eat lunch so Ronan struck up a conversation with him.  He also scored some tater tots from the officer.  He was so successful with meeting the police officer that he starting yelling "Hi!" to everyone in the cars that pulled into the drive in.  He did not understand why people were not trying to be as friendly as he is. 

We also spent one evening eating watermelon on the porch.  My husband and I had stopped by a road side vegetable stand and bought some produce including a beautiful watermelon.  Ronan loves watermelon!  We cut come pieces and ate them on the front porch.  At the end of the evening all of us were covered in watermelon juice.  It was delicious and fun. 

Ronan ate his watermelon and then finished mine and his mother's.  He was covered in juice and sticky from head to toe! 

Grandchildren are so wonderful.  I have joked that one thing that makes them wonderful is that you can give them back to their parents.  This past weekend during our visit I realized that the other thing that makes them wonderful is that with us he can explore and do things which his parents may not allow.  Is that not what makes grandparents wonderful also? 

I have a Thief!

It's summer here in Indiana and my tomatoes and cucumbers are almost ready to start harvesting.  I have been waiting for the fresh, heirloom tomatoes all summer.  The ones on the vines are just about perfect, big, round and with all the rain we have received here they should be especially juicy.

 I have had a few tomatoes get ripe, or almost ripe, and I have picked them to finish ripening on my kitchen counter.  But the big, juicy ones are not quite ready yet.

Last night I was watering plants and working in the flower beds and saw this under the pine tree in my back yard.

At first I thought it was one of the Granny Smith apples which have fallen off the tree in our yard.  I find half, or mostly eaten apples all over the yard, including up in the trees!

Then as I looked closer I realized it was one of my beautiful, big heirloom tomatoes (yes a green one) that had been picked and stashed under the pine tree.  It was most likely one of my four legged, bushy tailed thieves!  There was a big bite out of the tomato so I could not take it back.  This morning when I woke up and looked out the window it was almost completely gone.  That darn little thief!  It's not enough to steal all the sunflower seeds out of the bird feeder and stash apples all over my yard.  Now he is hitting my tomatoes!  

I don't mind sharing my produce with the local squirrel but if he takes too many tomatoes I will not be happy!  This squirrel has the best set up ever in squirrel-dom.  He lives in my neighbor's maple tree all year and then comes over to my yard for his (or possibly her) selection of tasty items.

It looks like I will have to become more vigilant about my tomatoes.  I don't mind sharing but I want the best ones for me since I did the work to grow them.  Darn little thief! 

Live Life Like Sadie - The Beagle Way!

Sadie is our nine-year-old beagle.  We adopted her from the Humane Society of Hamilton County last year.  She is considered a "senior" dog.  From what we were told her owner surrendered her because the owner was in end stage cancer and wanted to make sure her beloved pet was taken care of. 

So Sadie has lived with us for a little over a year now.  We have never had a Beagle before and it has been a learning experience for us.  Over the last year I have learned Sadie's rules for life:

1.  Everything is better with a dog cookie(or any other food).

Sadie loves her treats.  The people at the humane society said she is extremely food oriented.  She knows after walk she will get a treat, when I come into the house she gets a treat, and the day ends with "pills" which is usually a small piece of cheese to hold her latest prescription medication.  She lets me know when I forget or somehow get off the acceptable cycle of treat distribution.  Sadie always stays close when I am cooking just in case something hits the floor.  No need to clean up food from the floor when she is around, she will take care of just about anything that drops. 

2.  Life is best observed from the couch

Sadie is a couch potato.  Once she is done with morning walk and breakfast she takes her spot on the couch and does not move until it's time for walk or food.  Sometimes I can see her with one eye partially open just to make sure she does not miss anything but overall she watches life from her favorite blanket on the couch.  I have to practically shove her off the couch when it is walk time in the afternoon.  I just tell her both of us need the exercise. 

3. When in doubt let your voice be heard

Nobody told me beagles were so vocal.  Sadie is a talker.  She will howl and groan and murmur to my husband and I when something does not meet with her desires.  I have never had a dog "talk" to me as much as Sadie does.   The only one who comes close is her friend Harley, who is a Siberian Husky.  

This last year has been a learning experience.  Sadie is an important part of our family and has acclimated well to our routine.  Well, maybe she has taught us her routine and we have acclimated.  Whichever way it happened I am glad she is part of our pack and I am learning the "Beagle Way." 

24PetWatch - Waiting for someone to answer the phone

So today I am trying to contact the company that has my dog's pet insurance (24PetWatch).  I had submitted a claim for quite a few medical procedures and treatments for my beagle, Sadie.  I followed the lengthy directions on submitting a claim.  That included attaching the medical bills, getting a statement of treatment and signature from my vet, including only things which were on the allowed list and sending in the claim. 

I received a very nice letter saying they received my claim but I needed to send them my pet's complete medical history.  I did not see that on the checklist on the claim form.  Then the letter said that if I did not respond to the letter within 25 days of the date on the letter they would consider the matter closed.  I looked all over the letter and did not see a date when it was sent.  

Right now I have been on the phone for ten minutes getting the following message,

"All of our agents are currently busy with other customers.  Thank you for your patience.  If you would like to maintain your position in the queue and have us return your call Press 1.  Your position in the queue is 4" 

I have been number 4 in the queue for 10 minutes.  They must have only one person working on the "queue" today.  Oh, now I just moved up to number 3 in the queue. 

It will be interesting to see if this is resolved and they pay any of the claim.  It seems like their business model is to place as many barriers as possible between the customer and them fulfilling their agreement to provide pet insurance to my dog. 

It does not sound promising because one line in the letter I received says, "Upon receipt of all required information and completion of our review,  you will receive a written response from our Claims Department."  Just a response, no mention of a check.    

Hopefully they do a better job if a dog is lost.  This company also has the microchip information for my dog. 

I just moved up to number 2 in the queue.  It has been almost 20 minutes on the phone.  It was amazing that when I purchased the insurance I did not have to wait this long on the phone. 

Don't You Just Love Talented People?

One of the shows that my husband and I watch sometimes (usually on Saturday afternoon) is Music City Roots, Live from the Loveless Cafe, on PBS.  They have such a great assortment of traditional music, country, bluegrass, Americana and a wide spectrum of talent.  Recently we were watching a show that was filmed in March during the horrible ice storm they had in Nashville.  We were commenting that everyone in the audience was wearing heavy coats, hats and gloves. 

On this show they were showcasing talent from nearby Belmont University.  Belmont is known for its musical programs and the graduates who populate the country music scene in Nashville.  One such as was a duo with a young man and woman called "Striking Matches"  This duo (Sarah Zimmermann and Justin Davis) met in guitar class their freshman year at Belmont.  The story goes that the professor was pairing up the students in the class to work on throughout the semester.  Sarah was the only girl in the class and Justin said all the boys were secretly saying "Don't pair me with the girl." 

Well the professor paired Sarah and Justin.  He asked her if she could play the blues.  Sarah said that she pulled our her slide and played a few riffs.  The duo has since become songwriting and performance partners and have a new album out called, "Nothing but the Silence."  (On I. R. S. Nashville, produced by T. Bone Burnett). 

I love seeing talented people, especially those who can write songs and perform them.  Sarah's guitar work reminds me of Bonnie Raitt or Melissa Ethridge.  Their songs have been featured on the TV show "Nashville" which has broadened their American as well as their international audience. 

I am a writer of words and stories and would love to be able to tell stories with music.  That is just not my gift so I thoroughly enjoy seeing singer/songwriters perform their work. 

So what is the moral of this story.  First of all when watching Music City Roots you may never know what you will find.  I found a young talented duo who I will continue to follow as their careers blossom.  The other moral is don't be afraid to be paired with the only girl in guitar class.  She may just pull out her slide and blow your socks off with her grasp and interpretation of the blues. 

Check them out (www.strikingmatches.com).  I hope to be able to see them perform in person sometime. 

Visiting my "Boys"

For almost 10 years my husband and I were a host family (and housing coordinators) for the Indiana Ice hockey team.  That team was part of the USHL(United States Hockey League) which is the only Tier 1 hockey league in the US which prepares elite hockey players for transition to Division 1 college hockey or for professional hockey. 

Since these players wish to maintain their amateur status (and NCAA eligibility) they are not paid for their participation in this league.  They also live with host families who open their homes to these young men and receive a small stipend for housing and feeding them.  (Check out their website: www.ushl.com for more information on the league and the housing program). 

Over the years we have housed and developed relationships with many players and their families.  Some have now completed college and are playing professionally.  Some have gone on to business or coaching careers.  One graduated from West Point and is serving in the Army.  We have two players who lived with us who are seniors at Miami University in Oxford Ohio. 

My husband and I are both alums of Miami and we have maintained football and hockey season tickets for their teams.  The last three years have been very special to see our "boys" play for Miami.  This is the final year for us to have players who have lived with us playing for the Miami hockey team. 

So over the summer we take a trip to Oxford, Ohio and spend some time (usually dinner) with whichever boys are there taking summer classes.  This week we spent some time with three players who are very special to us.  It was so much fun!  We talked and laughed and caught up on the news about players who have graduated or who we all know.  It was at this dinner that we found out that Jeff Blashill (former Miami and Indiana Ice coach) was named head coach for the Detroit Red Wings. 

This will be a bittersweet year for us.  It is a year when we will see some outstanding young men complete their college hockey careers (and complete college).  We have enjoyed knowing these young men since they were in their teens.  Now they are adults and getting ready to move on into life after college.  We will stay in touch but the chances of meeting up will become fewer as they move on in life. 

Yet I would not change this for anything.  Having this opportunity to be part of the life of some outstanding young people has made my life richer.  I will treasure every opportunity to spend time with them as they finish their college careers and move on to their life goals (professional hockey, coaching, business or whatever life brings to them).  I also look forward to the invitations to weddings, announcements about babies in the future, and possibly an invitation to a Stanley Cup party! 

OK, do I just drive to work or launch a rocket with this technology?

So this week I purchased a new 2015 Ford Escape.  This is the first new car I have had in probably 20 years.  In the past I have purchased used cars.  I got this car because Ford was having a great sale and I was able to "upgrade" for the same payment - these are the words of my salesman, Jay.

It is a pretty slick car with Microsoft's "Sync" (who in my opinion sounds like Apple's "Suri" - could they be sisters? ).  I can use voice commands to call people with the Bluetooth connection to my phone.  Of course my son, James, always tells me he hates people who use the speaker on their phones when they call him.  I tell him he should be happy his mom is still around to call him, even if she uses Bluetooth. 

I have a camera and navigation and enough electronics to probably launch a rocket to the moon or somewhere else in space.  The climate control has two zones, so my husband Bob can put his side of the car on subzero (or the meat locker number as I call it).

It also has lots of safety features, even knee air bags!  For someone of my age the thought of keeping my knees safe in a possible collision is pretty attractive!  This car also does not have keys!  It has one of those electronic ignition systems.  I just push the button to start it and turn it off.  I have the turning on part of it down pretty well.   I wonder how long it will be before I stop reaching for the keys to turn the car off? 

It has been fun driving this new car but I find there are so many distractions.  I'm going to have to park it and just play with all the controls.  Or I can call the "Sync Specialist" at the car dealership (who looks like he is about 12-years-old) and he will give me another lesson.  For someone like me who is easily distracted I just have to focus on keeping my eyes on the road when I am driving.  I will leave all the fun stuff for the times I am parked and want to explore. 

Lessons from Comcast (Part 2)

Sometimes I wonder am I an idiot or just a glutton for punishment?  A few months ago I wrote about my experience with Comcast and the decision to leave that provider after many years.  We moved to AT&T Uverse  after they gave us an offer we could not refuse.  Then I learned the following:

Lesson #1 from Comcast - when you want to try and re-negotiate your Comcast package don't call customer service.  Call the cancellation department (or what they call the customer retention department).  They will make you some great offers to stay!  

Unfortunately I had already had Uverse installed and thought I would live happily ever after with AT&T.  Well I was wrong.  My husband hated the channel line up we got.  We could not get CBS "on demand" - it was not available in our area.  Then we could not get a stable WIFI connection in our house.  I really did not want to be in my house and using my data plan for my phone! 

So I called AT &T and we parted ways.  A Comcast sales person had left a flyer and a card in our door.  It was some great offers and since we had moved to AT&T we were now a NEW CUSTOMER just what Comcast (and most other providers love!!!) 

So after the salesperson visited us and made us some great offers we settled on a plan which included home security for less than we were paying AT&T.  I had to sign a two year agreement to get the pricing I wanted.  So I signed the agreement and thought all is well!

WRONG!!!

Comcast installed our new system with all the new bells and whistles.  Fine, Fine, Fine.  My husband was happy, he had his channels back.  I was happy because I really do prefer Comcast - at least the WIFI worked. 

Then I got my bill.  WHAT!!!  It was significantly higher than what was on my 2 year agreement.  They charged me for things that should have been free (installation, digital receivers).  Then they charged me for the installation of 4 new jacks in my house on a day there was no technician in my house. 

I called customer service (talked to Candace).  She was unable to help and told me her "superior, Al" would be calling me back to sort through the problem.  No call, no change on my bill.  So I was able to get to a vice president of Comcast locally.  He was very helpful but I still had to send him a copy of the agreement so they could correct my bill. 

The other problem was our phone (xfinity Voice) would not stay on.  It would work for a few days and then we would get the message "No Line"  That issue is still not fixed but the vice president has got several people involved and we think we are on the right track.  In talking to customer service people they have asked me "who was the technician who came to your house"  I don't know!!  Don't you have that in your system.  Unfortunately once a service ticket has been cleared all records are eliminated from the system.  So they don't know who came to my house and did not fix our phone problem and also charged me for service not done.  No wonder as a company they have a culture of blame. 

So here is Comcast lesson #2:  Get the name and customer service number of everyone you talk to on the phone and every technician who comes to your house.  Evidently Comcast does not keep track of those things!!! 

Now I have to admit that in the midst of this journey with Comcast I have talked to some wonderful people who seem to be great employees focused on making my experience as a customer the best.  They are working to resolve my issues with the phone and with my bill.  I am sure it will be worked out sometime soon.  When all is done Comcast does have the best stuff (equipment, technology and offerings) so once this is all worked out I will be very happy.  Of course in two years my agreement will be done and I will be calling them again to negotiate a better price.

Although in two years who knows what the technology will be for home internet and entertainment? 

Cooking from Pinterest

Now that I have more time (having completed graduate school) I have been indulging myself in trying new recipes for my husband and me.  We are both on Weight Watchers so many of these have been ones that come with "Points Plus" tags so we can continue on our weight loss journey.

Yet sometimes a recipe and its photos look so appetizing that I just have to try it and see if I can replicate it.  Don't you just love recipes with photos.  I especially like the ones with step by step photos so I can see if I am following the recipe correctly.  There is nothing worse than trying to replicate a recipe and you do not know what it is supposed to look like when you are completed.

Yesterday, being Mother's Day, I went into a cooking frenzy.   There were two reasons for this.  First Mother's Day is one of the days where I miss my mother the most.  I guess being surrounded by all the social media explosion of friends and their tributes to their mothers just brings it home to me that my mother is no longer with us.  I asked God to give her a celestial hug from me just so she knows that I am thinking about her.  So I cook to help myself focus on things other than my own troubles.  Also, cooking relaxes me, especially on a Sunday when I am not rushed to get anything done by dinner.

So yesterday I tried something new, Buttermilk Bread.  First of all I am not a baker.  I tend to have problems with yeast (too hot and I kill it, too cold and it does not activate) but this recipe calls for the yeast to be included with the dry ingredients.  I followed the directions carefully (baking is chemistry not cooking)  and was a little worried when the bread did not rise really well on the first rise.  Yet I persevered and it turned out perfectly!   Not exactly a no points treat but it was still pretty great.

I love trying new recipes and have developed many that have become standard fare at my house.  The Chicken Fried Rice with Crock Pot Teryaki Chicken that I make is a huge hit with people, as well as the Skinny Taco Dip.  (Not served together of course!)  One of the next goals for me is to compile them all into a recipe book (yes there is software for that also).  That might be a summer project that I complete between semesters.

I love cruising through Pinterest and finding new recipes or something I have not thought of trying.  This will continue to be a source of fun, relaxation and eating enjoyment for my husband and family.  

Wallowing in Books and Loving It!

For the last six years I have been working on a doctorate.  So much of my reading has been school related or focused on the research for my dissertation.  I successfully completed my dissertation in October and graduated from Ball State University in December 2014.

Since that time I have been indulging myself in my love of reading but now I am reading fiction, not academic work.  Between BookBub the public library and Amazon I have filled my Kindle with lots of books to read. 

For me some are new books by favorite, or new authors.  Some of the books are ones I am re-reading because I love the story and want to travel through it again with the characters.  I am enjoying Charlaine Harris' new series set in Midnight Texas.  I got to catch up on J. A. Jance's Ali Reynolds series of mysteries.  I also was able to re-read some of my favorite books by Indiana author Liz Flaherty.  Her book "One More Summer" is one that brings out all the emotions I experienced when I first read it.  

I have found some great new authors also.  I have enjoyed the series of books featuring Kate Burkholder by Linda Castillo.  This series of books is set within an Amish community.  Kate Burkholder, the main character, was formerly part of the Amish community but now is trying to maintain the balance between the Amish and the English residents in her county.  One of the most interesting new characters I have found is Jessica Blackwood in the series of books by Andrew Mayne.  She is from a family of magicians but now is an FBI agent.  It is a interesting concept and I am waiting for the next book in the series. 

For now I have no plans to read anything that is not romance, mystery or a thriller novel.  No more academic journals or educational treatise for this girl.  I may get tired of my current reading diet of lighter fare but for the moment I just enjoying reading for fun and entertainment.  I will let my brain rest for a while. 

Finishing my month of birthday celebrations.

Earlier this month it was my birthday.  Since I have reached a certain age I really am not in need of presents (even though I love opening gifts).  So my family planned a month of events for me in celebration of my special day. 

The weekend of my birthday my husband and I had dinner out and enjoyed spending time together.  He is starting his busy season at the Nickel Plate District Amphitheater in Fishers Indiana so we wanted to have a weekend of fun and relaxation. 

The following weekend we attended a play put on the by Nickel Plate Players (www.nickelplateplayers.com).  It was an evening of murder, mystery and fun called "Death of the Piano Man: Who Killed Billy Joel."  We sang and laughed and had a wonderful evening with 20 of our new best friends.  If you get a chance to be part of an evening with the Nickel Plate Players do it.  It is a rollicking good time!

The next week I got to do something that has been on my bucket list for a while.  I spent Saturday with the Indiana Romance Writers of America at a workshop called "Making Magic"  with the wonderful presenters Lani Diane Rich and Alastair Stephens from StoryWonk.  I got to meet and talk to two of my favorite Indiana romance writers, Liz Flaherty and Nan Reinhardt.  It was a wonderful day where I got to explore my next goal in life, writing a romance novel.

Later that day we went to Miami University in Oxford, Ohio for the hockey team's night of celebration.  It was a chance to see several of our favorite players, many of whom lived with us over the years when we housed players for the USHL.  We also got to say goodbye to those players who are graduating and going on to play professional hockey, or going on to graduate school.  

Finally, this last weekend my sister in law, Marty, came over and we had a no-holds-barred, all out shopping weekend.  We hit the outlet mall in Edinburgh, catching many great deals there.  Then we got on a bus and went to Chicago for day visiting ethnic neighborhoods and indulging ourselves in eating, and purchasing ingredients for cooking.  It was a foodie overload.

So this month has been wonderful.  I was able to enjoy many things and indulge myself in my many loves (reading, writing, cooking and eating).  I said goodbye to some young men who have been part of my life, wishing them all the best in their futures.  I spent time with people I love.  Now I am looking forward to May and starting my garden.  

Words of Wisdom from the Grocery Store Parking Lot

As I have mentioned in a previous blog post ("You live where you live"  12/24/12) my husband and I usually shop at the same grocery store every Saturday morning.  It's a chance for us to have breakfast together, reflect on our respective weeks and plan some tasty meals for the weekend and the next week.  At the store where we shop there is a young man who is responsible for getting the carts from the parking lot.  We have come to know him well and always take time to chat with him as we are walking into the store or leaving with our groceries. 

This week was no different.  He happened to see us in the parking lot as we were walking into the store and came over to talk.  First of all he started with teasing us about snow.  That has been an ongoing dialog all winter, him teasing us about big snow storms coming our way.  We usually react with "Oh No!"  and then blame any snow we get on him.   He finds that extremely funny. 

As we were talking one of the things he said was "It's so hard to be good!"  We all laughed at his joke but as usual when he says something to me it got me thinking about his words.  Maybe all of us should be in touch with our inner child and keep in mind that although we all try to be good it is hard.  Sometimes I just want to say "forget it" to being good and would rather dance my way through life.  Of course I can't do that because I am older, I am responsible, I have a demeanor that is expected of me....

Yet, it's so hard to be good.  I'll keep that in mind today and other days as I struggle to be the responsible adult yet my inner child is asking to be let loose.  I wonder what would happen if my inner child would break free? 

A Thomas and Friends Marathon, Negotiating with a Two-Year-Old, and A Day with Ronan - Priceless

Last week we were on vacation.  After spending a few days at Myrtle Beach and getting some rest we drove 12 hours to Nashville to spend a day with our grandson, Ronan.  We made arrangements with his parents for him to stay home that day and my husband and I spent the day with him.  Since we live several states away from our grandson and his parents it is quite special when we are able to see him and spend some time with him. 

So the day began with Ronan staying in his play room, not exactly the scenario we had planned.  After we lured him out he started to relax and we had fun.  First he wanted to watch Thomas and Friends.  Thank goodness for On Demand on Xfinity.  We found the right channel and then started the marathon of his favorite train. 

After a short while, he is only 2 so his attention span is pretty limited, he started wandering into the kitchen.  This is how the kitchen forays went, 

Me: Ronan what are you doing in there?

Ronan: Nothing

Me: Ronan I hear you opening the refrigerator door.  What are you doing?

Ronan: Nothing

I learned quickly to go to the kitchen with him.  Then the negotiating began.  We discussed how many juice boxes he could have.  We negotiated Halos (little mandarin oranges).   We discussed summer sausage (you can have that when your mommy gets home).  Finally we negotiated drinks (no more juice boxes, drink water).  All this went on to the background of endless Thomas and Friends on television.  (It's amazing on that show that no one gets angry, they get "cross").

At the end of the day my husband and I were exhausted but the entire day was "priceless."  We spent an entire day with our grandson and had a wonderful time.  I'm sure he will not remember it as he gets older but we will and hope to build on that experience with new ones as time goes on. 

Unconnected and Hating (maybe Loving) It!

Last Saturday night my husband and I went to a hockey game (Miami University Redhawks vs University of North Dakota - Miami won!).  As we were getting everything in the car and taking off I thought I had put my cell phone in my purse.  When we stopped for gas about an hour away I realized that my phone was not in my purse.  I had left my phone on the counter in the kitchen.  When I realized I did not have my phone there was no time to go back, we had an event before the game and wanted to make it for warm ups for the team.

As I was driving the last hour to Oxford Ohio I was thinking what would I do with no phone?  Usually during the game I am sending and answering texts, both from our son and some of our players who lived with us.  Then I am checking hockey scores at other schools and keeping up on the news.  I was not sure how the evening  would go when I realized I was unconnected.  Of course my husband had his phone so we were not totally without communication but it's not the same as having my own.

The game was great.  Miami played really well and soundly beat North Dakota (6 - 3!).  I had a fabulous time talking to other parents and friends of ours at the game.  With no phone to play with I had to focus on the moment and what was happening there at the game, rather than multi-tasking as I usually do.

As we arrived home later that night I realized that I did not miss having my phone.  Yes I had to "catch up" on how my other kids did in their college games but the information was there for me to check.  I had spent the entire night in the moment of where I was and not splitting myself between all my interests.  Being totally in the moment at that hockey game was an exhausting experience, I felt as if I had played the game rather than just sat in the stands and watched.

I don't know if I will do this regularly, I really don't like not having my phone with me.  Yet I may more often put it away in my purse and just be in the moment I am experiencing, it was wonderful! 

Yarn Crawl 2015 - Part 1

Last Saturday (before the March 1 snow storm here in Central Indiana) I spent the day in the company of a group of women doing the yarn crawl (www.rovingindiana.com).  This is an event put together by a group of independent yarn stores around Central Indiana.  We loaded up a van with six women and visited stores in Martinsville, Bloomington, Nashville, and Columbus, Indiana. 

The women I spent the day with are all accomplished knitters and crocheters.  I am a crocheter and an knitter wanna be.  I was in awe of their skill level and ability to look at a finished knitting project and know they could duplicate it.  My mother, who was also an accomplished knitter, tried to teach me to knit many times but it just never took for me.  I tried and tried but would quit because I did not see any progress.  I did learn to crochet and can handle most intermediate patterns but knitting is just a mystery to me. 

One friend in the group described them as "yarn snobs"  After spending the day admiring and touching some amazing yarns I understand what she is saying now.  Nothing is more exquisite than a mixture of baby alpaca, silk and a few other fibers to make something so soft and touchable I would be afraid to even try working with it. 

The other part of the day was spending it in the company of a group of women.  This group is established as friends and I was just the "newby."  they made me feel welcome and I realized women everywhere enjoy the same things - talking about family and friends, talking about current projects they are working on, and finding the best place to eat!  We had as much fun eating as we did visiting the yarn shops. 

Part 2 of the Yarn Crawl will bring the addition of my sister in law, who will be visiting that weekend.  We are going to shops in other small towns, north of Indianapolis this time. I'm excited about what we will see, experience and eat on this next leg of the journey.  I also got some great yarn for a few projects of my own. 

Losing Weight in a Digital Age

In January my husband and I decided to join Weight Watchers.  Both of us needed to lose weight and become more active.  So we both joined and I downloaded the app to our smart phones.  In the past it has seemed that when my husband and I work on dieting or eating better I am doing the work for both of us.  I'm not that good at losing weight and doing it for two people is virtually impossible! 

With the Weight Watchers app we can both track what we eat and know how many points we have consumed for the day.  I can scan food packages and even put in a recipe and it will calculate the points per serving.  My husband can track his own food and I am not trying to figure out what to eat for both of us. 

Since I was working on being more active I also researched and purchased a Garmin Vivofit activity tracker.  Now I know how many steps I have done at any point in the day and how many more I need to reach my goal.  The best/worst thing is the little red line that appears at the top of my tracker screen telling me I have been inactive for too long.  Yikes better get up and start moving again. 

The Garmin VivoFit and my Weight Watchers app talk to each other telling each other how active I have been each day.  Probably at some time in the future I will begin to get text messages or phone calls saying "Hey lazy, get off your butt and start moving!  You have calories to burn!" 

To be honest it has been surprisingly easy to follow the plan, count points and make sure I am moving more.  Of course in the 4 weeks we have been doing this my husband has lost 25 pounds to my 10.  We will see which one of us reaches our end goal weight first. 

Time to get up and start moving again.  That little red line on my VivoFit is getting longer! 

Hey Siberia! You can have your air back!

So here we are over halfway through February.  This has not been a bad winter compared to last winter here in Indiana (over 3 feet of snow last winter) or the winter they are having in the northwest states (over 9 feet of snow).  But the last few days have been brutal here in Indiana.  We are in the midst of a change in the jet stream bringing Siberian air to the Midwest. 

Yes, I know there are people who live in Siberia and I applaud them.  They are much tougher than I am.  As the temperature has dipped below zero for the last few nights I have just not been much of a trouper about it. (Think - whine, whine, whine).  My dogs have been miserable when we go out.  Sadie our beagle (who now believes she is a diva since the beagle won Best in Show at the Westminster Dog Club) comes in limping after each foray out into the cold.  Allie (the Princess) just looks at me like "really, do we have to do this again?"  It's not been a pleasant time all around. 

Starting today it is supposed to warm up but we will be getting either more snow or possibly a "wintry mix" based on the path of the "juicy" weather that is coming our way.  Weather that has snow, ice and cold attached is not "juicy" in my opinion, it is just nasty. 

The wonderful thing is that we are halfway through February.  Spring is only a few weeks away and warmer weather is approaching.  I have my seeds for the garden and the tomatoes and peppers are going under the grow lights this week. 

Pretty soon Siberia will have their air back and we will be on our way to warmer weather.  That suits me just fine. 

Mansplaining and the Grammys

Mansplain - (Of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing:  (www.oxforddictionary.com)  

So this week I am getting in touch with my feminist side and talking about the 2015 Grammy Awards.  My husband and I watched a portion of the show (until I got bored and went to bed) and got to see the moment when Beck was awarded the album of the year.  Kanye West in his typical, rude, condesending manner went to walk on stage when Beck was accepting his award.  Yet this time, (unlike when he interrupted Taylor Swift receiving the same award in 2009) he walked away before totally interruping the moment for Beck.  

It's interesting to me that research is showing that women are interrupted and their voices drowned out by men in business and social situations.  This happens often to the point that female voices become silenced and their ideas are lost.  So Kanye, being the chauvinist that he is, felt totally comfortable interrupting the award speech for a post adolescent female (Taylor Swift) but was unwilling to interrupt a man (Beck) as he was accepting his award this year.  

As a woman I have experienced being interrupted (many times) in business and social situations by men.  I have also experienced having the floor and being "talked over" by a man in meetings and social gatherings.  Usually I just give up and allow myself to be silenced.  That is my issue to deal with and resolve.  

Yet as a watching audience we have now seen a great example of how a woman can be interrupted in a defining moment in her career yet a man will not have the same experience (even though he was trashed on social media by Kanye later). 

I took the plunge and discovered the secret!

I have written about my frustration with providers (namely Comcast and AT&T) which seem to value new customers over the ones who have been with them a long time and have been great customers(i.e. pay their bills on time).  After several phone calls to Comcast's customer service about my rising bill for bundled services (Xfinity, phone, internet) I decided to give AT&T a call.  They made me an offer that was great for similar services (Uverse, phone, internet).  After talking to my husband we decided to take the plunge and switch. 

So after AT&T was installed I called Comcast to cancel our service.  This is where I discovered the secret to life (or at least the secret to getting a better rate with Comcast).  I was sent to the "customer retention" department.  After hearing all the ways I would be unhappy with AT&T the woman finally said that she could get my Comcast bill (that had been a little over $200 a month) down to $115 for the same service. 

I just lost it with her.  I told her I had called many times and was told that the best they could do was reduce our bill about $30 if I returned all the unused receivers in my house.  She offered me new installation, new equipment, wireless receivers for free and just about anything else I wanted.  I told her it was too late.  I have already made the switch and was not going to make it again.  I also said I was extremely unhappy that I had to go to these lengths to find out they did value me as a customer and wanted to work with me to get my bill down to something manageable. 

So here is the secret to life with cable or AT&T.  If you are unhappy with your cable/internet provider don't call customer service.  Call and threaten to cancel your service.  Then you find out that there are many ways they can bend the rules to keep you and lower your bill. 

Our journey with AT&T has not been without bumps.  The internet is not as fast or as reliable at Comcast - as Comcast predicted.  The worst problem is that AT&T does not offer CBS On Demand in our area.  So we have to remember to DVR our favorite shows on CBS to watch them later.  Who watches live TV any more? That works out all right until football runs over on Sunday night and everything gets delayed.  Of course football will be over soon. 

So the jury is still out on this.  My husband is not totally happy with AT&T.  We may give in and call Comcast.  At least we will be a new customer and will be eligible for all the new stuff, installation and equipment as well as the best rates.