"What day is it? " asked Pooh
"It's today!" squeaked Piglet
"My favorite day" said Pooh
A. A. Milne
This quote is one of my favorites. It reminds me to live in the moment and not to worry about tomorrow or to fret about yesterday. I am a worrier and a fretter. I really try to stay in the present and experience life as it is happening but thoughts of yesterday and tomorrow keep creeping into my mind and stealing the joy of the moment from me.
Right now my main worry is about my son, James and grandson, Ronan. James' relationship with Ronan's mom has ended and with many relationship endings it has not been harmonious. Stuck in the middle is an almost three-year-old boy who misses his dad and does not understand what is happening. Life today for him is not the same as it was a few weeks ago.
I know that in the end the best will work out for everyone. Ronan is not the only child who must learn to live between the homes of both his parents and juggle new relationships. He will survive and probably thrive in the future once this is all sorted out and becomes routine.
For now my heart is hurting and I just want to gather him up in my arms and tell him everything will be all right. I have to let this play out and be resolved between his parents and know Ronan will be fine with his new normal.
James will have a new normal, working out custody arrangements and becoming accustomed to the times he will have Ronan with him.
If you are reading this and know us please take a moment to say a prayer or send good thoughts our way as we strive toward what our lives will be in the future.
Monday, November 30, 2015
Friday, November 20, 2015
It's sort of like summer camp, with lots of alcohol!
Last weekend I did something that took me way out of my comfort zone. I attended the Indiana Romance Writers of America fall retreat at Bradford Woods. There were about 20 women who spent the weekend together. All of the others were published romance authors. I was the newbie in the group.
For me this was something that was a huge step in my process to become a romance writer. I had met some of the women at meetings and events. The thought of spending a weekend with a group of people I hardly knew was daunting and a little overwhelming. Being the introvert that I am joining a group of people I do not know for a weekend retreat was not something I would usually do.
So I arrived there on Friday evening. Many of the women were already there and were gathered in the living room, laptops in hand. I introduced myself to the group and got a big hug from Nan Reinhardt (one of my favorite authors). Trying to act cool and not go all "fan girl" on her I hugged her back and was told the names of the others in the group. Many of the women there were authors I had read recently or whose books are in my to be read list on my Kindle.
I was staying in a room with five other women. In the bed next to me was Jillian Jacobs (author of the O-Line series, I had just downloaded her book, Ember's Center). I did not put all this together until later in the weekend but I was in the presence of many women who had successfully navigated the publishing process. Here I am joking and laughing with them, being accepted and I have not even finished my first book!
We spent the weekend learning about the craft of writing and how to present a great finished product for publication. Others read excerpts from their books and we talked about how to handle safe sex during a first sexual encounter. We also critiqued some of the read sexual encounters and how they could be done and described in a way that was anatomically realistic. They talked about the changes in publishing and Amazon and how it has seriously impacted their income from the sales of books. The final night many of them threw rejection letters, disappointments and other barriers to success in the living room fire in a communal experience of moving on. The entire weekend was littered with lots of alcohol and everyone attached to their laptops writing their next books.
Personally I got lots of writing done. More than that I spent the weekend soaking up the fellowship of a group of women who accepted and encouraged me in my journey to become a romance novelist. The weekend ended with us all saying we would meet again next year. My commitment was that I would have a finished novel for critique and sharing at the next retreat.
I attended that weekend not knowing what to expect except that I was stepping outside of my "known". I left that weekend having made friends with a group of women who I admire and also know that I want to, and can be, like them. I can finish a romance novel and bring it to publication.
It was a wonderful experience for me.
For me this was something that was a huge step in my process to become a romance writer. I had met some of the women at meetings and events. The thought of spending a weekend with a group of people I hardly knew was daunting and a little overwhelming. Being the introvert that I am joining a group of people I do not know for a weekend retreat was not something I would usually do.
So I arrived there on Friday evening. Many of the women were already there and were gathered in the living room, laptops in hand. I introduced myself to the group and got a big hug from Nan Reinhardt (one of my favorite authors). Trying to act cool and not go all "fan girl" on her I hugged her back and was told the names of the others in the group. Many of the women there were authors I had read recently or whose books are in my to be read list on my Kindle.
I was staying in a room with five other women. In the bed next to me was Jillian Jacobs (author of the O-Line series, I had just downloaded her book, Ember's Center). I did not put all this together until later in the weekend but I was in the presence of many women who had successfully navigated the publishing process. Here I am joking and laughing with them, being accepted and I have not even finished my first book!
We spent the weekend learning about the craft of writing and how to present a great finished product for publication. Others read excerpts from their books and we talked about how to handle safe sex during a first sexual encounter. We also critiqued some of the read sexual encounters and how they could be done and described in a way that was anatomically realistic. They talked about the changes in publishing and Amazon and how it has seriously impacted their income from the sales of books. The final night many of them threw rejection letters, disappointments and other barriers to success in the living room fire in a communal experience of moving on. The entire weekend was littered with lots of alcohol and everyone attached to their laptops writing their next books.
Personally I got lots of writing done. More than that I spent the weekend soaking up the fellowship of a group of women who accepted and encouraged me in my journey to become a romance novelist. The weekend ended with us all saying we would meet again next year. My commitment was that I would have a finished novel for critique and sharing at the next retreat.
I attended that weekend not knowing what to expect except that I was stepping outside of my "known". I left that weekend having made friends with a group of women who I admire and also know that I want to, and can be, like them. I can finish a romance novel and bring it to publication.
It was a wonderful experience for me.
Monday, November 9, 2015
Choose Joy
Recently I was talking to a friend about an acquaintance of ours who spends her time wallowing in negativity. This person can take any conversation and turn it into a rant about the horrors of her life within seconds. I told my friend that I have found myself avoiding that acquaintance because I just don't like how she makes me feel with her negative take on everything in her life.
I am one of those people who can easily slip into depression. I have battled it all my life. Things seem to go along fine and then one day I seem to be looking at life from the bottom of a pit of despair. Before I know it I am living in a world full of grayness and looking to get out of the pit and see the sun again. Sometimes I can stop the slide into darkness and get myself heading into the right direction before it gets too bad. Yet sadness and negativity are insidious, they inch themselves into your psyche and you don't even know it until you find yourself in the pit again.
So knowing my personal struggles it amazes me about the number of people who live their lives wallowing in the negativity rather than choosing joy. For me, joy beats darkness any day. I would rather see the world through the lens of joy because the darkness is scary. Some people are so negative and critical of everything in their lives that I have chosen to not be involved with those people.
Several people I know are also battling the darkness. It becomes especially difficult when we are facing the long winter days where it is difficult to see the sun and enjoy the outdoors. I send encouragement their way sometimes they are fighting for their lives.
So my advice for today is "Choose Joy." Don't let yourself be drawn into the pit of darkness and negativity. Be grateful for the blessings in your life and look to find the light rather than the darkness. I will work on the gratitude and happiness also. A joy filled life is what I wish for everyone.
I am one of those people who can easily slip into depression. I have battled it all my life. Things seem to go along fine and then one day I seem to be looking at life from the bottom of a pit of despair. Before I know it I am living in a world full of grayness and looking to get out of the pit and see the sun again. Sometimes I can stop the slide into darkness and get myself heading into the right direction before it gets too bad. Yet sadness and negativity are insidious, they inch themselves into your psyche and you don't even know it until you find yourself in the pit again.
So knowing my personal struggles it amazes me about the number of people who live their lives wallowing in the negativity rather than choosing joy. For me, joy beats darkness any day. I would rather see the world through the lens of joy because the darkness is scary. Some people are so negative and critical of everything in their lives that I have chosen to not be involved with those people.
Several people I know are also battling the darkness. It becomes especially difficult when we are facing the long winter days where it is difficult to see the sun and enjoy the outdoors. I send encouragement their way sometimes they are fighting for their lives.
So my advice for today is "Choose Joy." Don't let yourself be drawn into the pit of darkness and negativity. Be grateful for the blessings in your life and look to find the light rather than the darkness. I will work on the gratitude and happiness also. A joy filled life is what I wish for everyone.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Time Change Musings
I love fall. It is probably my favorite season of the year - besides the fact it is followed by winter. I love the sunny warm days and cool, crisp nights. There is nothing better than donning a sweater or sweatshirt for a walk on a cool fall day.
Last week I was walking my dogs and the sidewalks were covered by leaves. While I was walking through the leaves the swish - crunch sound they made as my shoes moved through them reminded me of times as a kid. There was nothing more fun that making huge piles of leaves and then running through or falling into them and then starting all over again.
This last weekend we moved from Daylight Savings Time to regular time (I guess non-Daylight Savings Time). I much prefer the fall back of the autumn change to the spring forward of the March change. Unfortunately my dogs have not received the news of the time change. They are telling me at 8:00 it is time to go to bed - according to their internal clocks it is our regular bed time, which was 9:00 throughout the summer. Hopefully we all get on the same page about bedtime and the clock. Of course that will probably be about the time we "spring forward" after the first of the year.
I have often thought that my perfect weather would be a glorious fall, then a short winter, just through Christmas. Then we can move onto spring right after the first of the year, avoiding those long, dark months of January and February. Of course if we had perfect weather then everyone would want to move to Indiana.
Last week I was walking my dogs and the sidewalks were covered by leaves. While I was walking through the leaves the swish - crunch sound they made as my shoes moved through them reminded me of times as a kid. There was nothing more fun that making huge piles of leaves and then running through or falling into them and then starting all over again.
This last weekend we moved from Daylight Savings Time to regular time (I guess non-Daylight Savings Time). I much prefer the fall back of the autumn change to the spring forward of the March change. Unfortunately my dogs have not received the news of the time change. They are telling me at 8:00 it is time to go to bed - according to their internal clocks it is our regular bed time, which was 9:00 throughout the summer. Hopefully we all get on the same page about bedtime and the clock. Of course that will probably be about the time we "spring forward" after the first of the year.
I have often thought that my perfect weather would be a glorious fall, then a short winter, just through Christmas. Then we can move onto spring right after the first of the year, avoiding those long, dark months of January and February. Of course if we had perfect weather then everyone would want to move to Indiana.
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