Abide in the "Now"

Originally I was going to title this post "The sweet spot of life" but life has taken a turn recently.  So I decided to talk about living in the moment.

For me and my family we are in the sweet spot of life.  Jobs are going well.  Our son has a new tour he will be supporting with his audio skills.  He has a new girlfriend who I am liking more and more as I follow her on Facebook.  My husband and I are doing well health-wise and our jobs are going great.

I was reading a blog post by one of my writer friends and she was talking about her busy summer and finding time to write.  Yet her summer involves extended time with her kids and grandson, which are all good.

As I look at my life I often fret about what I am not doing.  I am not writing enough, I am not meeting my goals, I am not connecting with friends as I should.  I can beat myself up totally on all the things I am not doing.  I ruminate about the past and the things I did wrong.  I worry about the future and what will happen.  In the middle of all this worry and regrets I forget to abide in the "now" and just enjoy where I am.

Last week a wonderful woman in our church who was the linchpin of her very loved family passed away unexpectedly.  As I watch her husband, children and grandchildren in their grief I realize that for me I really need to spend more time in the now, letting those people who I love know that I do love them.

This does not mean that I will quit worrying and fretting but I just need to remind myself that the "Now" is all I really have.  The past is gone and the future is not guaranteed.

So abide in the "Now."  You will find, as I have, that it frees you from all the negativity in your life and lets you just exist in this moment.

Friends - they are priceless

I tend to be one of those people who do not have a huge group of friends.  I guess that goes along with being an introvert.  I like quiet pursuits and am able to keep myself occupied and engaged without much outside intervention.  Yet the friends I have mean everything to me.

First of all there is my partner in crime, who I have written about several times in this blog.  She is my husband's youngest sister.  We have known each other for years and have had many wonderful adventures.  She loves to plan fun jaunts and trips and I love to go on them.  So we are a great pair immersing ourselves in our love of cooking, foodie - ing and all things shopping.

Another example is my friend Joyce.  She lives across the street from me and we have been dog walking companions for several years.  Through the blazing heat of summer and the frigid cold of winter we can be seen walking our dogs around the neighborhood.

Recently I was telling Joyce that the person who does some yard work for me was not responding to my requests to trim back my lilac bushes after they bloomed this spring.  She said she loves to do that kind of work and would help me.

So Saturday afternoon she texted me and said she was in the mood to do some trimming of bushes.  I told her to come on over and we would tackle the lilacs.  It was a beautiful day, not too hot or too humid, so it was a perfect time to take care of this task.

She cut and I cleaned up.  It was a dirty task and we both attacked it the zeal.  Within an hour the bushes were cut back and I had cleaned up and bagged all the debris.

That is truly a friend who will take a Saturday afternoon and get down and dirty with a task I had been dreading for a while.  We had a great time and I totally appreciated her taking care of me.

Friends - they are priceless.  I am blessed to have them in my life.

Finding my new normal

In the last month my life has taken several unexpected turns.  I started a new job which is wonderful, challenging and lots of fun.  I am busy all day and my step counter shows by the end of the day.  I usually have my 10,000 step goal met by the time I head home after work.

At the other end of the feelings spectrum,  my precious dog, The Princess, passed from this life.  I was all right with making that hard decision to have her euthanized.  Yet since her passing I am struggling with missing her.  Sometimes I seem to see her lying in one of her usual spots out of the corner of my eye.  Then I look again and realize she is no longer with me.  I sometimes hear her barking in the middle of the night.  I know this is just the pathways of my brain letting go of memories, but it just brings the loss back to me again and again. Knowing The Princess it is very possible her spirit is still with me.

With my new job and lots more activity I am coming home at night just exhausted.  My plan is to get back to working out to focus on strength and core fitness.  Yet by the time I am home and get everything done, working out is the last thing on my list.  Fortunately I do get plenty of steps every day.

So it is time for a reboot of my goals for this year.  I plan to find the time for strength and core training.  I love how I feel and how strong I was getting doing this type of activity.  I will make time to get back to my writing.  I have skipped writing in this blog for a few weeks.  My goal is to do a post every week.

The only person who is going to make me physically strong and feel relevant today is me.  I need to focus on what is good for me and make time to do the things I enjoy.  I am in the midst of settling into my new job and will find my new normal soon.  

Sorry I have been missing

Life has gone from quiet and predictable to crazy busy for me.  I started a new job in the middle of May.  I am working for the same employer but in a totally different department and capacity.  For the last two weeks I have been trying to figure out what I should be doing and learning new things.  Most days I just go home and night and just crash from exhaustion.  I had no energy to write anything. 

Then I went to Tennessee to spend time with my Grandson while my son was touring with a different country act (for him).  He had been with one performer for quite a while but took some time off from touring to take care of business at home and to finalize the purchase of his house.

So I got to spend time with my grandson on my own. We had a great time playing games, cooking and just hanging out.  He discovered YouTube on my tablet and spent time watching these silly toy infomercials.  Then we found movie clips and had a great time watching those.  We also spent time playing a version of Frisbee/soccer/volleyball where he made up the rules as we went along.  It was great until we got the Frisbee caught in the tree in the front yard. 

Sunday morning cooking was great, we made breakfast.

We also tried flying a kite, that did not work because there was no wind that day.  So he ran around the yard trying to make the kite fly.

It was fun to spend time with him, just the two of us.  Of course we also had to hit the grocery store because he had a "list" of things he wanted. 

So I am adjusting to a new level of activity in my life between work and family.  It is a great thing, I have hit over 10,000 steps most days now. 

So life moves on.  My grandson started pre-k last week.  He was so excited to be starting school.  I am settling into my job and don't experience panic every time someone asks me something.  We will both move on to the new adventures in our lives. 

We also have our memories of time together.  Those  are priceless.

Just toss me in the deep end of the pool

This week I started my new job.  It is totally different from what I have done for the last four years.  I am at the same employer but now I am in the facilities operations area, not in anything to do with academics.  It was a switch I wanted and looked forward to happening.  I am working for the same employer so I understand the systems, the people and the culture.

That is where it ends.  There have been a steady stream of people stopping by my door to say hello and then to give me their opinion about how things are working in my new area.  I have had suggestions about staff and how they are working (some well, some not so well).  One person has turned in their resignation this week and another is on an extended medical leave. 

I told my boss I have a running list of items I need to review with him and find out how he wants me to work with him and the department I supervise.  Yikes, this is fun and exhilarating and scary and overwhelming. 

I know I am up to the task and soon I will find my "new normal" but right now I am just treading water as I am working my way around the deep end of pool.  It will get better and soon I will feel like I know what I am doing. 

Wish me luck.  How have you managed taking on the tasks of a new job?  Do you have any tips for me? 

Our Pack has lost a member

This week ended with the loss of a member of our pack.  The Princess, who had been with us over 16 years, came to the end of her life.  My husband and I made the painful decision to have her euthanized.  She had a long, wonderful life but in the last few weeks had gone downhill quickly. 

The Princess was an exceptional dog.  She was not easy, being part chow and part lab, she had the best and the worst attributes of both breeds.  She was very strong willed and wanted things her way.  Variations in her schedule were not handled well.  Yet she took her job as the head of security for our house very seriously.  No one, either human or animal, crossed our yard without her knowing about it and letting us know that our perimeters had been breached.

She did tolerate grand dog and The Beagle, our latest pack addition.

The Princess allowed hockey players who lived with us for many years to be part of her pack.  She loved the snow and I would often take her for long walks on winter afternoons.  She would bury her head in the snow and then jump out of it with her face all covered with the icy stuff.

I will miss her so much.  She was my faithful companion and, like many chows, picked me as her favorite person.  She would tolerate my husband (he said she considered him "better than nothing").
I know we made the right choice, allowing her to leave us in a way that was painless and peaceful.

Sleep well my Princess.  I know you crossed the Rainbow Bridge yesterday.  I will see you when it is my time to make the same journey.   

A Walk of Faith - Update

Several weeks ago I posted about the fact my position at my employer was being eliminated at the end of May.  The notice of my job disappearing was frightening and threw me totally off course.  I had everything planned for the next few years but life sent me elsewhere.

So I wrote about my journey to a new job as a walk of faith.  It is so hard to rest in God's promises that He has a plan and will take care of us.  I had to remind myself daily that this transition was in God's hands.  I did many things that took me out of my comfort zone as part of this transition.  I talked to friends and co-workers.  I asked for help and guidance from others.  There was lots of prayer, both on my part and from a group of prayer warriors who offered to help me.

It was starting to look pretty bleak, I had done all the right things and had applied and interviewed for several positions, both with my current employer and with others.  My husband was my rock and we planned how we would handle things if I did not get a job.  It included a call to our son saying, "If this does not work out we will sell everything and move in with you!"  He welcomed us and and told us that would not totally suck if it happened.

In my prayers this week I told God that no matter what happened I knew He had a plan and it was perfect.  On Wednesday I got a call that changed my life.  I was offered another position at the employer where I work.  It is a total change from what I have been doing yet not really that different from my previous position.

Here is how God works, at least from my perspective.  The position I was offered was originally opened and advertised.   I had thought about applying for it but doubted my qualifications.   I was asked to be on the interview committee for the first posting of this position.  After the interviews there was a candidate who seemed perfect for the position.  He was offered the job and accepted.  I told the supervisor that I had thought about applying for the position but did not.  Then a few weeks later the supervisor contacted me and told me that the candidate had withdrawn his acceptance of the position.  How often does that happen?  I applied for the position as soon as it was re-posted.  That is the position I was offered this week.  How can I doubt that this was not the working of God when a job I wanted was offered to someone else and then it ended up being offered to me. 

So where I was expecting an ending now I am looking forward to a new beginning.  I will be changing departments and supervisors.  This looks so exciting for me and as always God's plan is perfect.

Trust that all things will work out for the best.  God is truly good. 

Advice from a pro

Recently I attended a conference sponsored by my local chapter of the Romance Writers of America(RWA).  The speaker was Kristen Lamb, blogger and author.  She did a presentation on how to use a blog to promote yourself as a author.

Her advice included posting a blog about three times a week at a minimum.  I am lucky to get one post a week in.  She also had us go through an exercise of a word cloud to list things which described us or in which we had an interest.  From our word clouds she suggested topics we could use to blog about.

Since that time I have been noticing which of my favorite authors blog, or use social media, or link their blogs to their social media.  One of my favorite authors is J.T. Ellison.  She does three blogs a week and links them to her social media (at least Facebook). I look forward to those postings every week.  They cover a wide variety of topics, not just writing, and allow me to get a glimpse of her as a writer and a person.

As a result of the presentation I learned new ways of presenting myself as an author.  I know that I need to work regularly on promoting myself also.  I also need to find what works for me.

Previously I wrote about how writing fiction is hard.  Being an author is hard work also.   

What do you think?  Would you follow a blog or would it be better to stick with social media?  Should I focus on both and post the blog to Facebook and Twitter?  

Writing Fiction is Hard

This week I met with a group of writers for lunch and a session to talk about the craft of writing.  It is a mixed group of women, some of whom are published authors.  There is one other woman who has finished a book but has not published it yet.  Then there is me, the aspiring romance novelist who has not finished a book yet.

I was so honored to be asked to be part of this group because these are women who I admire very much. Also, they know their craft as writers yet aspire to improve their skills.  We spend our time eating, talking, gossiping and then digging into the skills it takes to be a writer.  Everyone has to submit something for critique by the group.  We also talk about our current works in progress(WIP) and talk through the story lines with which we may be struggling. 

It was my turn to be critiqued.  I sent my chapter with much trepidation.  One of the women, who is also a copy editor, asked if she could edit my work.  "Edit away" I replied.  What she returned looked like she had bled virtual red ink all over the virtual paper.  She encouraged me not to be too overwhelmed by her work.  I have done extensive writing - first within a business environment and later an academic one.  I am used to working with editors and people who critique my work.  I told her that her edits were not nearly as frightening as the first draft of my dissertation, when it was returned from my doctoral adviser. 

We talked about my chapter.  My heroine was not likeable enough.  I did not have enough conflict in my first chapter.  I needed more drama and action.  My dialogue was stilted and not realistic.  I went into this group with much fear.  I came out having survived my baptism by fire and encouraged to do a much better job at my WIP. 

I learned that, yes I am a great writer, yet writing fiction is a whole different animal than writing for work or school.  I have to lose myself in my characters and make them alive for the reader of my books.  They have to be likeable - there is nothing more frustrating to me than a great story with an unlikable heroine or hero.  I need to incorporate conflict into the story to keep the reader engaged. 

So I am persisting in finishing this book and moving on to others.  My current WIP is a series of books I call the Hockey Mom's Trilogy.  There is much work to be done.  I will succeed. 

What's Next?

This week I am returning to my theme of our digital life.   Last Friday I attended a higher education conference as I mentioned in my previous post.  One of the presenters was from GE (what was previously General Electric).  He was talking about how his company almost always hires new employees from students who have internships at GE or sometimes other companies.  To him the critical factor was the real world experience of a meaningful internship.

In the course of the presentation he mentioned that the generation following the Millennials or Generation Y (1980 - 2000) is Generation Z (2001 - present).  This generation, according to this presenter, is referred to as Digital Innate (as opposed to my generation which is considered digital immigrants).  Generation Z is the first generation which has had access to technology from birth.  They are considered very tech savvy yet say that they value personal relationships.  Many want to start businesses so they are very entrepreneurial. They are tied to their technology yet they value privacy.  Within the higher education community where I work we are trying to better understand this generation which will soon fill our college classrooms. 

The other thing the presenter mentioned was wanting their prospective employees to possess digital DNA.  During the question and answer period I asked what that was and he replied that they want employees who can go beyond use of technology to a deeper level including knowledge about software development and digital analytics.

Wow, how much will life, work and business be changing in the near future?   Will our connectivity through technology and social media result in us spending more time online or will there come a point of diminishing returns where people decide they want to disconnect and have closer personal relationships?  What do you think?  Are you excited about what is coming?

Let me finish this week's post with a story: 

My family room has large windows that overlook a busy road behind our house.  One evening I noticed that traffic was backing up so I walked over the the window to look outside thinking there had been an accident.  I saw three young men who had been traveling in an SUV.  It looked like they had purchased a new mattress and they were taking it home tied to the roof of the SUV.  The mattress had blown off the car and was sitting by the side of the road.  The SUV and the young men were on the other side of the road.  Traffic was backing up as people were slowing down to see what had happened.  The three young men were all on their phones, not talking but texting/searching or doing something.   Maybe they were contacting friends or more likely Googling "How to transport a mattress on the top of an SUV"  After much texting, typing and discussion they somehow got the mattress on the top of the SUV, tied it down and went on their way.  I am guessing Google told them how to solve their problem.

An earlier generation might have used the phones to call parents, or possibly friends, for help.  These young men seemed to solve the problem using their phones.  Thank goodness for good old Google(or possibly Siri depending on their phone choice).  

Tell me what you think.

Recently I was reading the local business paper and there was an article about a new company that will be expanding here in Indianapolis.  The company is ClearScholar and they develop communication platforms for colleges to increase student engagement.  As I was reading the article I was thinking that would be a company I would love to learn more about.  Since I am in the process of a job search I am thinking about what other areas I would like to explore.  As with many college faculty I struggle with making sure my students get all the information they need to be successful in their studies. 

So I tucked that thought away into my mind and went on my with my life.

This week I was at a higher education conference on education and employment.  It was really interesting and had many political leaders as speakers.  For lunch we had a served lunch and the keynote speaker was the new governor of Indiana.  I was seated at a table alone when three young adults joined me.  As we often do at these types of events everyone introduced themselves and told a little about what they do.  The three people who sat with me introduced themselves and all were with the company ClearScholar.  We had a great discussion about what they do and my frustrations with making sure that my students are engaged in learning as well as participating in all the activities available to them at the college where I work. 

Now the amazing thing about this is I remembered my passing thought from a few weeks earlier about wanting to know more about this company.  Yet in the happenstance of a conference lunch I not only met three employees from the company but we exchanged business cards and had a great discussion about what they are doing and my interests. 

Coincidence you say?  As I am going through this journey of career change I have been praying and doing a lot of reflecting on the power of God.  I have asked God to take away my fear of the unknown in my future and show me His will for my life.  I believe that business lunch at a conference where four strangers chose a table was an indication of God's power and connection to my life.  I did not even pray to ask for an "in" with this company, just thought, "wow, it would be nice to possibly work somewhere like that." 

I don't know if this will end of with me working for a company such as ClearScholar but it was a definite reminder to me of the power of God and His involvement in our lives. 

What do you think?  Coincidence or the Power of God? 

Catching Up with Old Friends

For the last two weeks I have been reveling in the release of books by some of my favorite authors.  I am a voracious reader and I love it when I stumble upon a series of books by an author that I enjoy.  Once I get hooked on a series then it is a waiting game until the next book comes out.  It seems like this year the release of the next book in several series happened about the same time. 

Here is a list of the books I have been reading:

The Devil's Triangle (A Brit in the FBI #4)
Catherine Coulter and J. T. Ellison

Wait for Dark (A Bishop/SCU Novel)
Karen Hooper

Black Fall (Jessica Blackwood #3)
Andrew Mayne

Silence Fallen (A Mercy Thompson Novel)
Patricia Briggs

Man Overboard: An Ali Reynolds Novel (Ali Reynolds Series Book 12)
J. A. Jance

Wow, it has been so much fun.  Reading the next book in a series I like is similar to sitting down with an old friend who I have not seen for a while.  I know their back story and am eager to hear what is happening in their lives right now.  It is like slipping into a really comfortable pair of jeans which you love wearing.

So I am enjoying myself but also find that I have a book hangover when I am done.  How long will it be before I get to catch up with these old friends again.  I follow many of these authors on Facebook and Twitter.  I want to tell them, "Quit doing other things, write faster! I am waiting for your next book."

I was telling a friend that for me it is so much fun to find a new series that I have not read in the past.  That is why I really like sites such as Book Bub because they may introduce you to the first book in a series (for a really great price also!).  Then if I like it I can go back and find the other books in the series and binge read all of them.  Friends tell me they do that on Netflix with television series.  For me I prefer finding something new to read.

What do you like in terms of books series?  Do you go back and read previous books when a new one in a series is ready to be released?   Do you enjoy reading book series so you can catch up with old friends?

Happy reading (or television binge watching)!  

Big Dreams list

This week two of the authors I follow have been writing about lists on their blog (www.wordwranglers.blogspot.com).  I love lists.  They help to organize my time and keep me on track.  I also love the moment when I complete a task and am able to check it off my list.  What a feeling of accomplishment!  I have to admit that sometimes when I am working off a list and I do something that is not listed I will add it to my list and then check it off.  Now you know one of my guilty pleasures.

Recently I have been thinking about what I want to do for the last part of my life.  I am not dying or anything like that, I just want to make sure that I get done what I want to get done.  I do not want to look back on my life and say "I wish I would have done ____."  Whatever that missing item might be. 

So here is what I have so far.   Some of these are bigger dreams while others are just my hopes for the future. Yet I have found that if I have a big goal that may be a stretch if I own it and put it on my list it will happen.

Carolyn's Big Dreams List for the next part of her life:

Finish the Hockey Moms trilogy of romance novels I am currently working on.

Continue writing more romance novels.

Complete two non-fiction works I am also developing.

Be invited to do a TED talk... and do it!

Have one of the books I have written optioned for a movie or a television show/series.

Attend the Ballymaloe Cookery School in Ireland with my sister in law.  (covers two goals, cooking and travel)

Continue teaching in some format, either face to face or online classes.

Spend as much time with my grandson as I can

See my son marry the love of his life/woman of his dreams (I know that is not my goal but I can encourage him)

This is a work in progress so more goals will be added and some will be crossed off!  The day I cross off any of these will be a day of great joy for me.

So what are your big dreams?  Write them down, make a list and begin crossing them off also.  I wish you the best!

"All of our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them"
-Walt Disney

I Need a New Name

Last Saturday I attended the monthly IRWA(Indiana Romance Writers of America) meeting.  In addition to the chance to see many of my favorite writers in person and learn from their experiences we had a program featuring Kim Castillo (writer's assistant to Eloisa James).

Kim talked about her journey and many of the things she does for a best selling author.  It was fun and fascinating to hear about all thing things (from marketing, to social media, to travel to hospitality) that fall within her purview.  One of the things she talked about is an author's persona.

She highly recommended that romance authors have a pseudonym (pen name) for their work.  I had not thought about the security issues associated with writing and doing personal appearances under your real name.  In the world of academia writing fiction, especially romance fiction, under a pseudonym, protects the author from snarky comments from their colleagues. It is way beneath real intellectuals to consider writing romance fiction, even though it pays much better than academic writing.

I have a friend who is a college professor at the college where I work.  She writes non-fiction under her real name and then writes her romance novels under a pen name.

So I decided I need a new name for my romance writing projects.  Here is the rub, I can't think of anything that goes with my persona.  I can give characters in my books names but in thinking about something for myself I draw a blank.

Subsequently I am asking for help.  If you read this would you suggest a name for me?  It seems that many authors use initials for their pen names.  I do not want to do that.  I want a first and last name.  If you know me you can also suggest my persona, it has to be something that is not too much of a stretch but fits who I am.

Any help will be appreciated. 

Life and Curve Balls, "Roll Tide" and "Go Skins"

Life does throw us some curve balls.  I mentioned a few posts ago that I had been told my position at the college where I work is being eliminated.  So far my employer has not offered me anything else in terms of employment.  I am vacillating between looking at this as an opportunity and being depressed because I was not planning to do a job search at this time in my life.  I really wanted to just work until I was ready to retire and then move on.  That was not in the cards for me.

So I am not waiting for my employer but I am seeking employment.  It has been fun to see the difference in jobs I can consider with almost nine years of employment at a community college and an earned doctorate added to my resume.  I know where I end up will be wonderful and just the right thing for me at this time.  So send me your good thoughts, prayers and ideas for where I can seek employment.  I am not ready to retire yet!

It seems like recently I have drifted toward having two topics in my weekly blog post.  So this week I will tell you a story.  My husband and I graduated from Miami University (not University of Miami) and at that time we were called the Redskins.  After we graduated the university, as with many others, decided to change our mascot to the Redhawks.  For my husband and many others who graduated before the change Miami will always be the "Skins."

Our grandson who lives in Tennessee has family on his mother's side who are all Alabama fans.  That is where the "Roll Tide" came from.  It is so cute to hear him say "Roll Tide" in his little southern accent.  My husband has made it his goal in life for our grandson to also say "Go 'Skins"  It is a fun game they play when they are talking on the phone. 

Comcast, Customer Service and the beginning of Lent

Wow,  you are probably saying, "What an interesting grouping of ideas!"  First of all you rarely hear Comcast and customer service in the same breath. 

Recently we had a problem with our Xfinity security system.  The different parts were not syncing up so the system would arm.  So I called Xfinity/Comcast and spent a lengthy amount of time on the phone with a very nice woman who walked me through several steps to try and reboot the system.  We tried everything, resetting the router, reseating batteries, checking for connectivity.  So finally at the end of everything she said, "We need to schedule a technician to come to your house" 

Yeah!  I know with Comcast you have to play the game, going through all their steps before you can have a technician scheduled.  Luckily I had time and I really wanted to get the system going again.  So we scheduled the appointment.  After the phone call I had several texts and emails confirming the appointment and making sure someone would be at the house for the time that was scheduled.  Since I did the work on the phone my husband was the lucky one to wait for the technician. 

Again, after several reminders the technician came to our house.  He was able to easily reset the security system so it would sync and arm.  But wait, here is the magic part.  He had a tablet that checked out our entire system and he found that there was "interference" on our main cable line coming into the house.  He explained that the "system" would not allow him to check out and leave until everything was working correctly, even if it was not included in our initial call. 

What!  Someone going above and beyond to ensure customer satisfaction!  So the technician rewired our entire cable system, explaining that what was there was outdated and not providing us optimal performance.  Once the entire system indicated it was working properly he was able to check out and we signed the paperwork. 

I was floored!  Again, Comcast does not equate to great customer service.  Yet they have initiated a system where they not only fix your problem but make sure everything else is working properly while they are still in your house.  What a concept!  Proactive customer service.  Kudos to Comcast.  I may complain about the cost but they made me a believer.  In the long run it is probably more cost effective for them because they fix issues while they are at a customer's house rather than having to be called back again. 

Changing subjects .... Today is the first day of Lent (March 1).  Many of my friends are taking a break from social media as their sacrifice for the season.  I applaud what they are doing.  For me, I saw a Lenten challenge about a bag a day.  It was a challenge to take time every day to clean out something and give it to a charity or throw it away.  That is my goal this Lent.  I want to get rid of more of the stuff that is holding me down and pare my life to the barest essentials.  I will let you know how it goes. 

Happy Birthday James!

Today my son turns 35.  Time has flown by so quickly.  I posted on his Facebook page that I have loved him since before he was born and that is true.  Sometimes our journey has been rocky yet my love for my child has been abiding and strong.

He is an accomplished adult who is also the father of our grandson, Ronan.  He works hard and is well respected in his career and among his peers.  I admire the adult he has become knowing the journey he has taken throughout his life. 

Here is a photo of the two of us together when he was just a little boy.  I cherish those memories and hope we are able to make many more as we move through this phase of our lives. 

So Happy Birthday to my wonderful, talented and accomplished son!  May you have a long and wonderful life, surrounded by people who love you!

Photo Credit: RPM

Here we are today.  This photo was taken by my grandson, Ronan. 

"Life gets mighty precious when there is less of it to waste"
Bonnie Raitt 

A Walk of Faith

It has been one of those days.  Today I found out that my position at the college where I work will be eliminated by the end of May this year.  This is frightening for me because I am an older worker but not close to being able to retire.  I am trying really hard to look at this as a walk of faith for me.

I know that God will provide for my husband and me but it is so hard to rest in those promises right now.  My mind is spinning with possibilities.  What will I do?  How will we make it?  My job is the source of our health insurance coverage and that is scary.

In talking to friends here where I work I have been told unofficially that a place will be found for me.  I am highly trained and have taken on every learning opportunity that has been presented to me.  My employer also paid for my doctorate (I was fortunate to graduate debt free).  Why would they want to get rid of someone they invested so much money in?

So I have to just wait, and listen to the voice of God.  Knowing that what is coming, although it will be new, will also be a wonderful opportunity for me.

I am asking for your prayers if you are reading this post.  Also, I will let you know the outcome.

"I am no longer a slave to fear.  I am a child of God"  -  Bethany Music 

Back in the Saddle...

For the past two semesters at work I have been taking on new responsibilities.  Last semester I accepted an assignment as a course developer for one of the online psychology courses at the college where I work.  This semester I was asked to be the course mentor for the same course. 

A course mentor is someone who interacts with the faculty for an online course.  If the faculty run into problems with the course construction or internal workings of the curriculum they will do a report about the issue.  It is my job to respond to those issues, either clarifying the problem or possibly fixing an issue that was not found as part of the course development. 

After I took the position of course mentor I found out I also had to take an online course where I get certified to be a course mentor.  All right, I have taught online courses for the last few semesters at the college where I work.  I also took many online courses as part of my doctoral program.  I wrote many papers and journal entries during my studies about my love/hate relationship with online learning. 

So I started this course last week.  It goes for six weeks and has all the attributes of an online course; discussion board posts and responses, homework and assignments with deadlines and quizzes.  Yikes!  I have forgotten the pressure you experience in an online course keeping everything straight and trying to fit all the work in with your other responsibilities.  Did I mention deadlines?  I'm sure I did.  There are lots of deadlines. 

In my work as a college professor and course developer I had forgotten what it is like to be a student.  This course is bringing back all the memories, good and bad (remember love/hate relationship)?  It's fun to challenge myself and learn new things but I hardly seem to finish one session and have to move onto the next.  I am doing this while working a full time job, teaching two online classes and still working as a course mentor for a class.  (Also being Grandma to my grandson).

Although I am totally stressed usually at some point during the week, overall I am loving it.  It reminds me that this is what my students are experiencing.  I have a greater appreciation for what they are going through as they navigate my classes. 

January 31 - let's see where we are.

I started this year with talking about goals, not resolutions.  So on this final day of January 2017 I am looking at my progress so far this year with the goals I listed at the beginning of this month.

One thing I wanted to do is write in this blog regularly.  So far I have posted something each week, either on Monday or Tuesday.  So I am pretty pleased with myself on meeting that goal.  Last week I even embedded a YouTube video to illustrate my point about educational journeys.  That would not have been possible six months ago.  Although probably most first graders can embed a video, digital immigrant that I am, I did not know how to do it.  I served as a course developer for my employer last semester and through that process I learned many new digital skills, which included embedding videos into my course content.

Another thing I wanted to do this year is become more physically active.  Late last year I read an article in AARP magazine (Yes I do read it.  They have great articles often about performers I like.  It's kind of like "People for old folks!") The article was titled "Younger Next Year"   It was a quick little two page article with a list of things to do to turn back your biological clock.  The first was plan to exercise six days a week including 45 minutes of cardio for four days and strength training the other two days.  Ok, I want to be younger but I hate to exercise.  But I made a commitment and tried it.  Since I live in the midwest and it is winter here it is difficult to get out and do cardio right now.  So I pulled out my Beachbody - TurboJam videos and started to exercise along with them regularly.  It was hard (remember I hate to exercise) and at the beginning all I wanted to do was say "I'm too busy for this"  Yet something happened about week three - all of a sudden I looked forward to that time of pushing my body and sweating.  It is becoming a habit.  (I still hate to exercise but I really like what it is doing to my body and mind!)

Now on to writing.  I am writing regularly in this blog but my fiction writing is still at a stand still.  I want to do it and have great ideas yet the habit of writing eludes me.  Then out of the blue one of my writer friends invited me to a writing group.  We will meet regularly and all focus on the craft of writing.  Just what I needed to get me going (a blessing from God in my thinking).  I will keep you updated on how that is progressing.

So I can report that I am making progress on my 2017 goals.   I am keeping up with my blog regularly, I am exercising regularly and I have plans to be part of a group that will encourage me to write.  So far it has been a good year. 

Educational Journeys are not Easy

Over the holidays my husband and I were watching television and this commercial played.  It is one of those commercials where you are watching it and saying to yourself, "what is this for?"  If you take the time to watch it above you will find out it is an advertisement for the University of Phoenix.

Yet while I was watching this and tears came to my eyes it reminded me of the educational journey so many people experience.  It can be a lonely journey where you find yourself separated from your community and family, although still physically a part of both.  It can be a journey where your friends do not understand what you are doing, and maybe are a little put off by your perseverance and persistence in reaching your goals. 

I work at a community college.  Every day I stand in awe of many of my students who work to overcome numerous obstacles to reach their educational goals.  Many are the first in their family to attend college.  So a large part of my job is not just advising them academically but also helping them navigate the culture and rules which make up college.  I often check up on my students asking how they are doing in classes and also how they are doing in life.  College is not easy and for many the support, or just acceptance, of their family, friends and community means the difference between success and failure.

I returned to college in my 50's to complete one of my educational goals, getting a doctoral degree.  For over six years I pushed myself to complete that goal.  It was not an easy journey, I almost quit several times.  I carried textbooks and reading material to family events, hospital rooms (both my mother and stepfather passed away during this time) and sometimes sporting events.  Because of the support and encouragement of many people I completed my goal.

What are your goals?  Do you think about returning to school to try something new?  Do you want to train for a physical goal?  Do not allow yourself to be discouraged.  I am so happy I said "yes" to the challenge rather than doubting myself and never trying.  

Priceless - Part 2

Last Friday I drove to Nashville TN to pick up my grandson from his great-grandmother's house and take care of him for a few days. My son was on tour and would not be back until late Friday night. He asked me to pick up Ronan and then stay for the weekend. The visit started when I pulled up to his great grandmother's house and Ronan was on the balcony watching for me. She said that he had been asking all day "when will my grandma get here?" We visited for a short while, his great grandmother is on his mother's side, and then Ronan insisted we leave.

On the way to my son's house Ronan decided he "REALLY had to potty" but we were in bumper to bumper traffic on the interstate and could not find a place to stop. So once we pulled into his dad's driveway Ronan got out of the car, dropped his pants and peed in the front yard. Remember this is Tennessee, and his dad lives in a small country town. I just acted like it was no big deal for him to drop trow and potty in the front yard.

The rest of the weekend alternated between wonderful fun times and clashing heads and wills. Ronan's parents are not together any longer so this almost-4-year-old is struggling with the differences in expectations between his mom's and dad's houses. Then you throw in grandma who is totally clueless and we definitely had some clashing of the wills to navigate. He has trouble with boundaries (No, Ronan that is Grandma's phone). He also struggles with bedtime (Grandma, I'm not tired. But Ronan Grandma is tired).

We had a wonderful time between the clashing of our wills and tempers. We had to have a few talks about respecting other people's property. We also had to talk about boundaries with his NERF guns - "No you do not shoot people in the face or head with your NERF bullets!)

The weekend was priceless and ended with many hugs and both of us telling each other we love each other and will miss each other when I went home. He is a normal, energetic, lively, and totally lovable boy (No, I am not showing favoritism).

I went home totally exhausted. I told my husband, who did not make the trip, "Don't talk to me I need some extended quiet time!"

We will be returning in a few weeks. I can't wait to see him again.

New Year, New Semester

In the past I have mentioned that I am a college professor.  I started with teaching introduction to psychology classes in a face to face format.  That is a traditional classroom format that includes weekly meetings of the class but also some online content.  More recently I have been teaching online classes.  These classes are asynchronous classes where there is a weekly "session" with learning objectives and assignment deadlines.  I still teach psychology but have added Abnormal Psychology and Social Psychology as additional courses.

Throughout my doctoral program I wrote several papers on my love/hate relationship with online learning.  As my students do, I love the convenience of online learning or teaching.  As we joke about online classes "You can go to college in your pajamas!"  In spite of the convenience you do need to meet your deadlines and course goals.  As I told my students today in the start of the semester announcement "Do Not Get Behind In Your Work!"  There is no leeway for bad days, family issues or anything else.  Going to college in your pajamas means you must keep up on your assignments.

As an instructor I love the convenience of teaching online (Yes I can Teach in My Pajamas!) but I do miss the face to face interaction with students.  In the traditional classroom being part of a really great class where everyone participates is total magic.  I learn from my students as they learn from me and their peers.  Online learning waters that immediate interaction down to discussion board posts.  There is no immediate challenging of ideas just mostly polite interaction.

Learning is learning to me.  Whether you take college classes online or face to face you are still working toward an educational goal and moving forward in your college career.  It does work for many of our students with busy lives.   So online learning has its place.  Yet there is nothing more fun, or more frustrating, than jumping into the fray of a group of young people and exchanging ideas and vision.

If you are thinking about going to college, or going back to college, please pursue your goals and do it.  You will not regret your experiences.   

Here's to 2017!

I am starting out the new year with goals not resolutions.  I read about this in another post and decided this year I will focus on goals.  One goal is to become a regular contributor to this blog.  I need to get back into the habit of writing.

Last year was so awful.  It was a difficult year for my husband, health-wise.  He is on the mend and focused on this year being a healthy year for him.  It was also just so distasteful with the horrible election we experienced here in the United States.  I just want to get past all the unpleasantness and move on.  We not only had the contentious presidential election in the United States but nasty state elections here in Indiana.  That wish may not be fulfilled as people from both sides (winning and losing especially in the presidential election) can't seem to move on.

In spite of some of the difficulties of last year it was also a year of great blessings.  My husband and I both have wonderful jobs, which we both enjoy.  We have friends, family and faith.  Our son is doing well in his chosen profession.  Our grandson is thriving and is a total delight to us.

Back to "goals not resolutions."  This year I am focusing on my writing.  I WILL finish that novel that I have been playing around with for over a year.  I WILL post regularly on this blog to keep myself writing regularly.

I also plan to be more physically active.  That does not sound like it would relate to wanting to write more but I will figure it out somehow.  I am at an age where I need to focus on moving as much as possible.  I will let you know how it progresses.

So what are your goals, not resolutions, for 2017?   Do you plan to make changes this year?