Now What? (Part 2)

If you follow this blog you probably know that I recently finished a doctorate.  Until I got through graduation weekend I had not realized how much that effort had consumed me.  The last 6 months were non-stop with research, writing, editing, rewriting and finalizing my dissertation.  Then I had to submit all the detailed paperwork for graduation.  As one of my friends said getting a doctorate is not easy and I found that out as I was mired in all the final details of finishing. 

So now what will I do with my time.  Friends have told me that it takes a few months for the energy to restore after this journey.  I do know that I have not wanted to write anything (as you can see by my sporadic work on this blog).  Now that I am catching my breath I can look ahead and see some things on my "to do" list.

First on the agenda, look through my Kindle and see what books I have that I want to read.  I have been downloading free and discounted books, as well as new additions to book series I have followed,  but have not read them.  So I will be taking my Kindle with me and catching up on my favorite authors and book series. 

Second on the list, finish all the craft projects that are half done in my house.  I want to mark them off the list and then begin new projects that I complete rather than set aside. 

Finally, I want to just enjoy whatever comes my way without the weight of knowing I have a major life project/goal to finish.  That goal is done. 

I may just wander through life for the next few months with no greater goal than finishing a book or a craft project.  There will be new big goals that will come my way.  I have a couple of novels in my head that are nudging me to get written.  I also have some academic projects and collaborations that are waiting on the horizon.    For right now I will revel in the moment and just enjoy what I have accomplished. 

A Solitary Journey but Surrounded by an Army of Encouragement

As I was completing my dissertation I was writing the acknowledgements for the beginning of the document.  I reflected on the fact that a journey for a doctorate is a lonely, individual journey but also it is a journey that cannot be completed without lots of help and support. 

During the final few months of researching, data analysis and writing my dissertation I worked for hours alone.  It was painstaking work making sure citations were correct, drawing conclusions and providing analysis for all my research findings.  Yet during that time of spending hours on my own, immersed in research results I felt the encouragement and support of so many people. 

One day a package appeared on my front porch left there by UPS.  When I opened it there was a coffee mug from my sister-in-law, Marty. 

I was so excited to receive this gift.  It reminded me that other people who I loved also cared for my progress and were cheering me on.  This gift has resided on my work table where all my research was stacked as I was writing.  I will cherish it as a reminder of the support I received through this process.

Then at a particularly difficult time when I was struggling to meet editing deadlines my sister, Janine, sent me a card of encouragement.  One of her statements was "this is your time.  Own this time and know you will succeed."  I carried that statement in my heart and repeated it as I was driving to my dissertation defense with my committee.  Again, I realized that my journey was a solitary one yet what sustained me was the encouragement of those people who loved me. 

Finally on the Friday before my dissertation defense on the following Monday I received this delivery:

It's a floral arrangement from my sisters with a card telling me that they were proud of me and wishing me all the best.  Again, it meant so much to me that they were cheering me on.

Now as my dissertation is winding its way through the list of entities who must approve it and sign off I am focused on graduation.  This journey would not have been possible but for the support of my family, my husband, my employer and my doctoral committee chair.  Each of those people were there in my journey at exactly the right time to encourage me and help me over my feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.  I am forever grateful.  

Now What? My Post Doctorate Bucket List!

For the last, almost seven, years I have been focused on one goal.  I was a doctoral student working on an Ed.D at Ball State University.  I took classes, both online and face-to-face.  I spent time writing papers, keeping journals and producing academic output (more papers).  I have developed an idea for my dissertation.  I successfully completed my dissertation proposal, completed the research and wrote up the results.  Last week I presented my dissertation research to my doctoral committee and it was accepted and approved. 

Yesterday I uploaded my revised dissertation to the graduate school.  The completion of that with the submission of all the required signatures have me on target to graduate with my doctorate in December of this year.  My cap, gown and hood are all ordered and I am ready to finish this goal I set over seven years ago! 

Now what?  People keep asking me what I am going to do with my time?  To be honest, I don't know.  It is a little bit of a let down after uploading my dissertation.  It's just amazing that years of work come down to pressing the "submit" button on my computer. 

I have jokingly referred to my post doctorate "bucket list" with my friends.  I plan to catch up on my non-academic reading.  My Kindle is overloaded with books I want to read.  I also plan to clean my house.  Finally I plan to get back to all the craft projects that have been waiting for me for years. I have half finished afghans to complete and a list of quilts that are waiting for me. 

First of all I am going to the Fabulous Food Show with my sister-in-law.  She offered me this trip and the timing was perfect.  All I am doing now is waiting for graduation.  So we are off to an adventure to immerse ourselves in all things food, and see demonstrations by chefs Tyler Florence and Michael Symon.  I can't wait!  New tastes, new cooking toys, an entire weekend of food and cooking.  I'm sure it will be a wonderful adventure. 

OK Google - can you help me find my way?

Last week I got a call from a student who was trying to find her class.  The conversation went something like this:

Student: I am trying to find your building but the GPS dropped me off in front of the bowling alley. 

Me: Is that the bowling alley near the highway? 

Student:  Yes.  I can't find where you are. 

Me:  Here is how you get to the building.  Drive out to the street and turn left.  Then you want to drive about a mile to the main intersection.  There is a brake place, a car dealership and a sign to the airport on the corners.  Turn left and then make an immediate right.  You will see our building when you make the right turn.

Student:  Well that's not what my GPS says. 

Me:  Well your GPS took you to the bowling alley so it is obviously wrong. 

Student:  OK, I will just check Google Maps. 

After we disconnected the call I was totally amazed.  This student who is talking to a person in the building they are trying to find does not want to believe the directions.  Since her GPS was wrong then she would rather check Google Maps instead of following directions from someone who knows the area and the location of the building she is seeking. 

After that conversation I felt like a dinosaur.  Are we raising a generation of young adults who would believe Google over the directions from a live person.  The amazing thing was I had this same (or very similar)conversation with several students that week. 

Let's hope the satellite systems, GPS and navigation systems and Google Maps all stay active and available.  I see in the near future an entire generation of people who are unable to find their way anywhere without an intervention from a satellite! 

It's the Final Countdown - October 27, 2014

The light at the end of the doctoral program tunnel is getting larger and larger (hopefully it is not a train heading my way!)  I have a date for my dissertation defense with my entire committee,  Monday October 27, 2014.  Yikes! There is so much to do.

My doctoral committee chairperson and adviser worked with me on dates leading up to that big event.  I have to apply for graduation (of course there is a fee for that).  Then my adviser and I will be working on rewrites of my document as I complete the writing.  It is due to her in a final form by the beginning of October and then to my committee by October 13. They need 2 weeks to read it and prepare for questions to ask me as part of my defense.

This is the culmination of six years of work (with a few breaks for personal issues).  I am experiencing an array of emotions.  I am excited, scared and just plain ready to be done.

One thing I am working on is my post -doctorate bucket list - all the things I have not been able to do or had time to do while on this educational journey.  Some of my friends who have completed this already say that there is a lull after you are done and you don't quite know what to do with yourself.  So I thought I would work on a wish list of all the things I want to do.  This includes going to the Fabulous Food Show in Cleveland Ohio, spending more time visiting my grandson and getting back to my quilting and crafts I have not done in months.

But first of all I have to finish and graduate in the winter commencement.  So much to do and limited time. 

64 is the new ....

So this last weekend I attended a Heart concert.  Ann and Nancy Wilson have been among my favorite rock performers for years.  The last time I saw them in a live concert was in the mid-80's.   This year for Mother's Day my husband got me second row seats for their concert at Hoosier Park in Anderson Indiana.  Since my husband was working I took a friend.

The girls can still rock!  We were in a crowd of about 3500 screaming fans.  They played many of their older hits and some new material also.  When they came out for the encore and launched into Led Zepplin's Immigrant Song the place went wild!   We were on our feet for the entire show and during the encore were jumping up and down!  It was fabulous.

Yes, the concert is structured so Ann can take a rest or a background role about every third song.  But her voice is as strong as ever.  Yes, Nancy may not jump and kick as high as she did 30 years ago but she is still a guitar (and other stringed instrument) virtuoso.  At 64 and 60 respectively these girls still have it and can rock out with the best of them.  (Did you see them do Stairway to Heaven at the Kennedy Center Honors Led Zepplin?  If not check it out!).  I am so glad I got to go to the show and experience them up close and personal. 

My friend I took to the concert is 64 also.  She and I jumped and screamed and had a wonderful time. 

So then on Monday I was checking Facebook and one of my favorite authors was celebrating her 64th birthday (Liz Flaherty - if you have not read her book "One More Summer" check it out.  It's one of my favorites.)  She was reflecting on one blog (WordWranglers) that being 64 was not so bad.  She is enjoying life and continuing her writing.

Both experiences got me thinking that as I am aging I hope I can continue to do the things I love and learn new things also.

So, rock on, Heart!  Write on, Liz Flaherty!  Keep it coming ladies.  You are so good at what you do and also you are an inspiration to those of us who are not so talented. 

Easy Transition - although I am still a Digital Immigrant!

A few weeks ago I got a new smart phone (Samsung Galaxy S5).  I was amazed that the transition from my old smart phone to this one was so painless.

A little over 2 years ago I went from my old flip phone to an earlier model smart phone (Samsung Infuse).  That transition was so difficult.  I talk quite a bit about being a digital immigrant.  Usually new technology for me is difficult to learn.  When I bought my first smart phone I had help figuring it out from one of my students and my son (who had the same phone).  In fact the reason I bought that particular phone is that my son had the same model so I could call him and ask for help if I got stuck. He would patiently walk me through how do certain functions or how to set up apps.  As time went on I got more skilled at that phone and did not need to call him for help.

So when I was due for an upgrade I debated on getting a new phone.  As I was thinking about it my husband said he wanted the Otterbox case from my old phone and my son wanted my old phone.  It was like they were fighting over the carcass before I had ever made a decision.

I wanted to stay with Samsung (sorry iPhone people) and started researching what was best.  The Galaxy S5 had great reviews and was on special when I was ready to upgrade.  This transition was so seamless.  The nice person at the store transferred all my contacts and other saved data.  He gave me a short lesson the the new enhancements to the phone and then he sent me on my way.

At first I was a little unsure but soon I was adding apps and activating functions on the phone.  I love the voice search (OK Google!).  It tells me the weather, where I am and how the traffic will be on my commute home from work.  I take photos, post to social media,  answer email and sync my calendar from work.  It even counts my steps every day (as long as I have it on me).  I feel positively confident that I can handle just about anything.

I also connected my phone to Sync in my car (it's amazing to me that Microsoft Sync has the same voice as Apple's Siri).  Now I travel down the highway chatting away with no phone to my ear.

I'm not sure if I would qualify as a digital native but my digital immigrant status may have been upgraded to a digital permanent resident!  On second thought, Nah!  I still haven't figured out Twitter even though I have an account (when do you hashtag?) and I have never tried Instagram.  So I will stay in Digital Immigrant territory for now. 

How do you create?

A few years ago I happened to see an interview with Barry Manilow.  He was talking about his creative process and his hit song "Copacabana"  He said that usually his lyricists will write the words for the song and then send them to him, and he then writes the music.  When he received the words to Copacabana he said the music came almost immediately.  It took him about 15 minutes to write the music to the lyrics. 

In another example of the creative process Steve Martin and Edie Brickell talk about writing "Sarah Jane and the Iron Mountain Baby" (available on their Love Has Come to You album).  Edie Brickell said that for their collaboration Steve Martin writes the banjo parts first and then sends the files to her. She had wanted to write a train song and one track he wrote lent itself to that desire.  She did some research on trains and came upon the story of the Iron Mountain train and the baby that was tossed from the train to the ground below.  The baby was rescued by a Civil War veteran who was looking for wood for his barn.  That man's wife was named Sarah Jane (which coincidentally rhymes with train).  It was a story and music match that was perfect. 

In talking to author friends they often mention that they are asked how they start a book.  Do they start with the characters or the story?  It seems most are evenly split. Some authors say the characters are formed in their imaginations and then the story writes itself around them.  Others say the story starts first and then they find the characters as they are developing the story. 

So how do you create something?  Is it music first, then words or the other way around.  Does the character get your attention first or is it the story.  Do you see the finished product in your head or do you see the parts first (such as yarn for knitting or fabric for quilting) and then build from there.  I guess there is no wrong or right way to create.  The important thing is that it is done, it works for the creator and it gets completed and shared with others. 

Silver Memories

This last weekend my husband and I had a garage sale.  We still have items from both of our mothers' houses that were sent to us or ended up in our possession.  We are also looking forward to a big life change for ourselves in the next few years when we retire and possibly move to another state to be closer to our son and his family.

So in preparation for that eventual move I have been going through boxes and cabinets and setting aside items we don't use to sell.  In most cases it is an easy decision.  "Hmmm, French press coffee pot.  I have never used that and am too addicted to my Keurig.  Sell!"  I have found stacks of serving dishes, bowls, glassware and other things that have lurked in the back of my cabinets for years.  All were removed, cleaned and sold this last weekend.

In my search for items to sell I found a box of my mother's silver serving dishes.  They were tarnished and dirty so I decided to clean them up and include them in the garage sale.  As I was polishing the serving pieces I reminisced about the many times my mother used them.

She loved to have fancy dinners where she brought out all the good china, silverware and serving pieces and we would celebrate a holiday, an event or a special birthday.  Everyone had to dress up and dinner was served formally.  Of course she also had five daughters so she had a ready made labor force to clean all those pieces and polish the silver.  Standing there alone in my kitchen polishing the silver pieces for sale reminded me of all the times my sisters and I would have clean up/polishing duty after a family dinner.  Although in the grand tradition of all teenagers we complained about the work (just not loud enough for our mother to hear) thinking back it did not seem so overwhelming  or like such drudgery as it did as I was working alone last week.

I am selling the silver pieces because I just don't entertain that way at all.  For me a gathering is a buffet on the kitchen island with disposable plates and eating utensils.  I would much rather invest my time in spending it with friends and guests than dealing with fancy place settings and serving dishes.

It was wonderful to have the time to think about the past but it is also time for me to move on.  I know I am doing the right thing in re-homing these pieces with someone who will appreciate them. 

It's Always Something!

It seems like recently I have been either saying or hearing this phrase "It's always something!"   I was talking to a work colleague late last week and we were comparing notes on the reorganization at the college where we both work.  Although many of the changes will end up eventually being positive we were both unsure about what the changes would bring to our lives and jobs.  Between the two of us it seems like that was the theme of the day, "It's always something!" 

As I was telling my husband about this over the weekend he also agreed.  No matter what is going on it seems like "It's always something!"  Recently I had a check up with my doctor and even though everything was fine he reminded me I was overdue for two regular wellness check ups.  So I left his office with referrals for two different doctors I need to see over the next six months. 

It can also be something positive that brings up the phrase, "It's always something!"  A few years ago we had a hockey player living with us who has a lobster business with his father.  He and his father have a commercial lobster license and they tend about 100 lobster traps off the shore of Massachusetts.  During his school breaks he works the traps, either selling or giving away the lobsters he catches.  One spring his father sent us 8 live lobsters he had caught the previous day.  He wrapped them in seaweed and sent them over night to our front door.  Although we were thrilled to receive the very generous gift we also were extremely busy that day. Luckily I had a chef friend who offered to cook them for me so that evening we enjoyed fresh lobster for dinner! 

So "It's always something!" can be something negative, like a work reorganization the results in stress and uncertainty about the future.  It can also be something unexpected in the midst of good news, my doctor check up was fine but I needed to take care of some regular maintenance on my body.  Or it can be something positive, a box of fresh, live lobsters on your front porch and a friend who helps to cook them for your evening feast. 

As someone who tries to look at life as a "glass half full" experience I hope to continue to say, "It's always something!" knowing that something can be a transition to a positive experience or outcome. 

What do you think?  How do you handle "It's always something!" 

Tony Awards, The Good Wife, Acting and Education

I have been a little absent recently from this blog.  My only defense is that my work has been unusually busy and I'm also working on writing my dissertation.  So between advising students, helping then get into classes for summer semester and getting data results from my research I just have not had the "umph" to think about topics for this blog.  I will do a better job from here on out. 

On Sunday night I watched some of the broadcast of the Tony Awards.  I always like to do that because I really admire those actors who work in the musicals.  I love watching extremely talented people who can sing and dance - AT THE SAME TIME!  They can also act. 

One of my favorite television shows is The Good Wife (on CBS).  It's a great combination of powerful story lines, great characters and an strong female lead.  One character on the show is Eli Gold (played by British stage and screen actor Alan Cumming).  On The Good Wife he plays a buttoned-up political strategist and chief of staff to the governor of Illinois.  It's a great role and he plays it well.  When watching the Tony Award Ceremony on Sunday night Alan Cumming showed a very different side of himself.  He is currently reprising his role as the emcee of the Kit Kat Club in Cabaret (the role made famous by Joel Grey).  His performance is dead on outrageous and he seems to enjoy playing the part.  Needless to say I will never look at Eli Gold the same way again! 

That got me thinking about acting.  I am an introvert according the the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.  So for me the thought of putting myself "out there" in a role that is totally outrageous is about the same as me doing brain surgery.  Probably won't happen.  Yet in thinking about  it further I realized that in my own way I do put myself "out there." 

During the school year I teach an Introduction to Psychology class at a community college.  I realized that for three hours every week during the school year I am performing.  I tell stories, I do impressions, I cue up videos that make my lecture points and I put on a performance all in the name of education. 

I want my students to first of know that learning can be fun - and what is more fun than using a clip from Big Bang Theory to illustrate a point about learning and classical conditioning.  The second thing I want my students to know is that learning is all around us and can often be found in popular culture. 

So in my own way I am an actor, treading the boards not in pursuit of the "theater" but conducting a class where psychology, acting, popular culture and learning come together in something that is lots of fun! 

Happy Mother's Day!

Yes, I know I am a few days late.  Last weekend I traveled to Nashville TN with my sister in law to visit my grandson (Ronan the Magnificent).  His great aunt had not met him yet so we decided to plan a road trip.  The trip included time with Ronan (and his parents) as well as a little shopping.

The trip was a huge success.  We visited the Jim Beam Distillery in Kentucky and took the tour.  This was after we went to the wrong location because of my sister in law's GPS.  We found out they don't give tours at the real Distillery, just the one set up for tours.  After that little side trip the tour was great.  We bought some bourbon and headed further south to Nashville.

We spent time with my grandson's mom while my son was away on tour for a few days.  Then we traveled 2 hours south to South Pittsburgh, TN to the Lodge Cast Iron Cookware outlet.  Now if you know my sister in law and me you would know that only we are crazy enough to drive two hours to check out cast iron cookware.  The drive down I-24 in Tennessee was beautiful.  The day was perfect and we had a great time (bought lots of cookware also).

Finally on Mother's Day my son made it home from his tour and we were able to all get together to celebrate the day.  Ronan's great grandmother stopped by also so it was a fun gathering of several generations.  We got to see him say many of his new words.  He has mastered "touchdown!" with the appropriate hand gestures.

All in all it was a wonderful trip.  I returned home with great memories, as well as photos and videos on my cell and camera.  I'm looking forward to the next visit where Ronan will have mastered more words and skills.

I hope your Mother's Day was a chance to connect with those you love and a chance to see your children.

Our pack has increased by one!

Late last year I wrote about the loss of our dog, Buddy.  He had a long life and enjoyed every minute of it.  When it was time to say goodbye we were devastated but knew that it was time for Buddy to move on from this existence.  After a while we decided we wanted to start looking for a new pet.  It had to be a very special dog because our remaining dog, Allie, is very special.  We needed a dog that would let Allie continue to be the diva she is while still providing companionship for her, especially when we are not home.

We worked with the Humane Society of Hamilton County (HSHC) to find that right new addition to our pack.  We were committed to adopting a shelter dog.  The staff at HSHC were wonderful.  They encouraged us to attend events and also were very patient as we went through the process.  The first visit to the shelter was very emotional for my husband, Bob.  He had to leave because seeing all the dogs there who were eager for loving homes was just too much for him emotionally. 

As time went on and we were still looking for that right match we visited one more time with Allie.  The dog we were looking at was not working out with Allie.  She was very stressed and the male dog kept trying to mount her.  As a last resort the executive director brought out a dog that had just been surrendered.  She is a full blooded beagle and her name is Sage.  She interacted well with Allie and the executive director suggested that we foster Sage for a while.  We were told that she was surrendered because her owner was ill and could not care for her any longer.

As we were driving away I told Bob that we should take them up on the foster placement.  So the next day I returned to HSHC and signed a foster agreement for Sage.  We took her home and were eager to see how she joined our pack.

Sage and Allie had a few little disagreements but overall they did so well together.  Allie was fine with the new dog and seemed to enjoy having another dog there.  Sage is what we needed as a family.  She is loving and a snuggler.  She loves to have her ears scratched and enjoys just sitting on the couch with us.  It was such a great transition that we finalized the adoption last week.  Sage is now a member of our family and part of our pack.

Here are Sage and Allie together on the couch.  They enjoy being close and both of them are a major part of our lives.

So our search has ended.  Sage is part of our pack and will be with us the rest of her life.  I cannot thank the people at HCHS (www.hamiltonhumane.com) for their help, guidance, patience and expertise in matching us with Sage.  When I envisioned our next dog it was not an eight-year-old,  slightly overweight beagle with a huge bark.  Yet she fits perfectly.

If you are looking for a pet "Adopt a Shelter Pet!" 

"If you remember this you can sit with me"

Yesterday I was sitting in church with my husband.  Because it was Easter and the church was doing baptisms several of our friends had to move to different seats.  So it ended up that a group of us "baby boomer" sat together during the service.  We started talking before church and I told the following story:

As a college professor I sometimes talk with my students about "back in the day."  I was telling them about when I was in college in the early 70's we did not have online registration for classes.  In fact there was no "online" anything.  If we wanted to sign up for classes we had to go to this large room where the departmental secretaries were set up at tables.  You lined up in front of the class/department you wanted to take.  Once you got to the head of the line you would ask about the class you wanted, such as Psychology 101 on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons at 2:00.  The secretary would look through her stack of cards and if there was a card remaining for that class you were given the card.  Then you would go to the "computer station" and the card, which was key punched, would be run through the computer key punch reader and you would be included in the class.  If there were no cards left for the class you wanted you would know it was full and you had to pick another class. 

My students thought that sounded so archaic (as in "OMG, you are such a dinosaur!").  As I was telling my friends they all were nodding their heads and saying they had been through similar experiences when they attended college also. 

So we decided that if you could remember before the internet was available and "online" was a reality you could sit with our group.  Although I love my technology (I'm now even on Twitter and don't go anywhere without my Kindle Fire) there is something comforting to be able to talk about an experience with someone near your age and not be looked at like you are talking Klingon. 

As with the generations ahead of us someday all those memories of taking cards to sign up for college classes will be gone with us.  It's a little daunting to think that I hold the memories for something as mundane as how you signed up for college classes before there was on "online." 

For my husband and me, that is how me met.  We were both standing in line to sign up for classes and chatting in line led to having a drink at the Rez (Miami University) and eventual dating, engagement and marriage. 

Recipes, recipes everywhere

Along with my other fetishes (pens, tote bags, books and purses) I am a collector of recipes.  I cut them out of the newspaper and magazines.  I find them on the internet (Food Network and All Recipes are my favorites).  I also follow several blogs where the authors post recipes, how-to's and photos.  So in my quest for the best chicken or pasta recipe I end up printing out piles of recipes. 

To get organized I will start a folder and once the recipes are printed I carefully place them in the labeled folder (Recipes).  Then when I am looking for something ("Now where is that great recipe I saw for crock pot pork sliders?") I will flip through almost everything looking for the one I am seeking. 

I find that those recipes I use more often float to the top of my neat stacks in folders, like the slow cooker chicken teriyaki and the chicken fried rice that I make about every other week.  While other recipes I have not tried tend to settle to the bottom of the stacks.  Every once in a while I will go through everything and find a hidden gem ("Wow, I forgot about the Lemon Pasta with Chicken and Asparagus recipe I printed out!  Have to try that one soon.")  But for the most part those recipes I cut out/printed and don't use get to languish at the bottom of the pile and never get prepared. 

I know you are saying, "Hey Carolyn, there are better ways to organize your recipes!"  I'm sure there are better ways but for me, right now, I will print them out and file them away. 

A few years ago my one sister and I decided to make a family cookbook.  We gathered recipes from everyone and using online cookbook publishing software did put together a great cookbook with family photos and written notes about when recipes were used.  It was a huge success.  Maybe that needs an update.  I could put some of my favorites in there! 

Also, I could just go through these piles of recipes and get rid of the ones I know I won't use.  Hmm.  That is a thought.  Then I would have room for more as I continue the search for the perfect chicken recipe. 

March, What a Month!

I had an eventful March, 2014.  It came in with snow and storms (remember as a kid we talked about March coming in like a lion).  During the month I worked through issues with the Institutional Review Board at Ball State University to begin my dissertation research.  (Thanks IRB for the final approval!).  I spent time gathering data for my research and have the final work in early April.  So if all goes well I will be done and graduating with my Ed.D in July this year. 

Also, during March I was on my way to an early morning meeting for a board on which I volunteer and sitting in traffic at a red light when, BOOM! some idiot who was not paying attention ran into the car behind me and caused a four car pile up.   It's interesting that when he got out the the car he said, "I don't know what happened, I looked up and everyone was stopped."  Yep you moron, we were all stopped at the red light that obviously you did not see!  Maybe if you concentrate on driving and not on whatever you were doing (probably texting) then this type of thing could be avoided.  Because of his inattention three cars were totaled, including mine. 

The crazy thing is that I was not supposed to be at that intersection at that time except I was on my way to that breakfast meeting for a volunteer board position.  I have been struggling with anger ever since that morning. 

I know I am grateful that I was not hurt worse than I was.  My car will be paid off and a replacement is available.  I am thankful the car the guy was driving had insurance even though he did not.  I keep thinking of the phone call that driver made to the owner of the car.  "Hey, I have some bad news.  I totaled your car and two others.  Sorry, man!" 

So life moves on and April is upon us.  Hopefully it will be a better month and we can look forward to the end of this long, difficult winter.  My friends and I have made a pact.  No matter how hot it gets this summer no one is going to complain about the weather! 

Why don't cable and cell phone providers value their current customers?

It's that time of the year for me.  Both my cable and cell phone agreements are ready to expire.  Right now I am with Xfinity for cable and internet and AT&T for my cell phone.  Originally with both providers I got a great "introductory" rate for service.  Since I have had both for a few years the costs have been creeping up annually.  Even though I call before my agreement is done and negotiate the best deal I can get it is still not as good as the "introductory" rates. 

Why is that?  I'm sure it has to do with how they measure their success to stock holders (New Customers).  I don't understand why they don't value me as an existing customer as much as a new customer.  I pay my bill on time, I like their service and recommend it to my friends.  I really don't want to change. 

Yet I am getting lots of mail from U-verse(AT&T) and DirectTV to switch right now with great offers.  I just don't get it why Xfinity does not want to match these offers to keep me as a customer.  I have a friend who will take her Xfinity equipment in and cancel her service at the end of an agreement.  Then she will call a few days later and sign up for service again with Xfinity.  BAM! New Customer.  She gets the introductory rate again! 

I don't blame her for doing that because she is trying to keep costs down for her technology.  Yet why should any customer have to go through that to get a better price for internet, cable or cell phone services?

Right now I'm not sure what I will do. I hate change.  Yet I would really like to keep my costs for cable, internet and cell phones reasonable.  So I will try negotiating for something better than what I have now.  If that does not work then I will call one of the other companies which are bombarding me with mail and email about the great deals they have. 

Maybe someone needs to start a cable, internet and phone provider that rewards its current customers, who pay their bills on time, with great rates.  What a concept! 

What's the Big Deal?

In the last few weeks in addition to the Olympics the sports new coverage has focused on the announcement by Michael Sam that he is gay.  After the NFL draft in May he will be the first openly gay player in the NFL.  This weekend the NFL combine was in Indianapolis and Michael Sam was the darling of the press.  In one of his interviews he said “I just wish you guys would just see me as Michael Sam the football player instead of Michael Sam the gay football player,”

Being a woman who has never played professional sports I keep thinking "what is the big deal?"   What business is his sexual orientation to anyone?  I would rather see a gay man in a loving relationship play football than a man who ran a dog fighting operation who later went to prison and then went back to playing football.  There is something just wrong about someone who electrocuted non-performing dogs as part of his "business".  The NFL has welcomed abusers of animals and women yet is all in an uproar about a gay man playing on a team?  

So one night at dinner I asked the two hockey players who live with us what they thought about playing with an openly gay teammate. They are players for the USHL and are considered to be part of teams on which some of the elite American hockey players play.  One was fine with it.  He said he really wanted to play with someone who was a good player and helped the team succeed and sexual orientation did not matter.  The other player was totally appalled about the idea of playing on a team with, and being in the locker room with, an openly gay teammate.  He could not give me a reason, it just made him feel creepy.

I asked either of the boys if they had heard of the You Can Play Project (www.youcanplayproject.org) and neither had.  I was a little surprised yet they are teenagers and not that aware of anything outside their sphere of reference (hockey, workouts, food and girls).

Their response did give me a chance to reflect about frame of reference.  I, as a middle aged women, can't see what the big deal is about the sexual orientation of someone playing professional sports.  They, as someone who may face this question directly, found it more of an issue.  Yet both said that the real goal is a winning team.  

As one coach said in an interview, football is an outcomes based business.  If someone can help a team win then almost everything else is secondary. 

 

A Lucky Penny or a Miracle?

Last week my husband purchased a used truck for our son in Nashville TN.  They are starting a business there and needed a truck to haul audio equipment.  The truck was here in Indiana, Franklin to be exact.  So once it was purchased my son made arrangements for a friend to bring him to Indiana from Tennessee to drive the truck back.  His friend picked him up on Saturday morning and he arrived here late Saturday afternoon to pick up the truck.  We met him on the south side of town and drove to the location of the truck, which was parked on the lot of an auto repair business. 

The truck started right up but since it had been sitting in a grassy area for two months it would not move.  My son let the truck warm up but still it would not move.  Between the deep snow and the ice the wheels were mired down and he could not get the truck moved onto the pavement.  Time was passing, it was dark and we were getting frustrated.  My husband called two tow truck operators to move the truck off the grass but neither would come and help. 

I suggested to my son that we go home and he try again the next day, when it was daylight.  He could not do that since he was scheduled to work at two major events in Nashville the next day.  Since it was getting late and we had not had dinner my husband and I decided to drive down the McDonalds and get something to eat.  When we were sitting at the table he looked down and saw a penny on the floor, face up.  Now my husband always picks up face-up pennies believing they are lucky.  At the same time the penny reminded me that we needed a miracle to get out of this situation.  So I said a quick prayer asking God for a miracle that would solve our problem. 

As we were driving back to the lot where the truck was parked the snow was starting to fall.  When we approached the lot we saw that a tow truck was there dropping off a car.  My husband walked over the the driver and asked if he would pull the truck off the grass/snow/ice into the lot so we could get it going.  He checked with his dispatcher and said he would do it.  It was a AAA tow truck so my husband gave him our card and number so he could turn it in for reimbursement. 

He pulled the truck out of the ice, it took maybe 5 minutes total.  It was not much to him but to us he was an angel in a red tow truck who turned our night from a disaster to a victory! 

Was it the lucky penny?  Was it a miracle from God?  In thinking about this after all was done and we all got to our respective homes I am convinced that God sent us a miracle that night on a snowy lot.  Maybe lucky things, such as the penny, help us to remember that with God miracles can happen when all seems to be lost and our lives seem darkest. 

So I am grateful that God answers prayer and sends us those answers in the most unlikely ways.  For us it was the angel in the red tow truck on a Saturday night.  For others it may be an answer to prayer in other unlikely ways. 

How have you experienced miracles in your life? 

The Kindness of a Stranger

Right now Indianapolis is on pace for a top four snowfall, if not record breaking, winter.  So my husband and I have had lots of practice shoveling the white stuff from our driveway and sidewalk.  This last snow we got about 8.5 inches overnight and at about 3:00 AM the morning of the storm we heard the snow plows clearing the streets of our neighborhood. 

Now I appreciate the streets being cleared but it seems like every time the plows come through they deposit the snow that was cleared at the end of our driveway.  This snow was no different.  On Wednesday morning we walked out of our house to find a mountain of snow packed into the end of our driveway.  It was about 3 feet tall and 4 feet wide of hard packed snow and ice.  There was no way our cars would get over the embankment.  So we started digging to clear a path. 

While I was working on the snow a pick up truck drove by with a snow blade on the front.  After the driver picked up someone in the next block he was driving by our house again.  I waved him down and we asked if he would take a few minutes to clear the mountain of snow at the end of our driveway.  We were happy to pay him for his time. 

He lowered the plow blade and with about 4 swipes he had the snow cleared and stacked up at the corners of our driveway.  Those snow mountains at the corners of our driveway are about 5 feet tall now.  This good Samaritan saved us hours of work and lots of body aches and pains. 

When he was done we asked him if we could pay him and he said no, just enjoy our day.  He did not have a company name on his truck so I can't even thank him by name in this blog posting.  I was so grateful that this stranger came along and took a few minutes to help us out. 

So this is a story of the kindness of a stranger, and the gratitude of the person he helped.  To honor his kindness I plan to "pay it forward" and do something kind for a stranger the next time I have the opportunity. 

I am over winter!

I decided that we are paying for the wonderful, warm weather we had during Super Bowl XLVI here in Indianapolis on 2/5/2012.  That winter was mild, with the Super Bowl week being unseasonably warm here in Indianapolis.  This winter has been brutal.  Between the Polar Vortex and the Alberta Clippers we have been left in the deep freeze for weeks and snow seems to just stay around forever. 

Right now my neighborhood is an ice skating rink, the roads are covered in a thick layer of ice.  So when I walk my dog she and I both are slipping all over the place.  Oh, for a few sunny, warm days to melt the snow and break up the ice. 

So to all the people who prayed, wished, and did possible sacrifices to get the great weather for the Super Bowl in 2012, thanks!  In the way of the Universe nature must be balanced and now we are paying the price for that weather. 

I really try to be grateful for where I am everyday (see blog post on "You live where you live").  Yet right now I would be so happy for a warm spell to at least get rid of what we have, winter-wise, before the next big storm hits. 

Now I know why I don't live somewhere further north.  Of course if I did I would be prepared with the right clothing and boots, as well as a snow mobile to get around. 

One day closer to Spring!

Hey Bob Evans - bring back your regular sausage!

Last Saturday my husband and I went to Bob Evans Restaurant for breakfast.  Having breakfast there is one of our favorite Saturday things to do, especially when we have a "buy one, get one free" breakfast entree coupon. 

So we sat in the section of our favorite server and ordered our breakfasts.  We were enjoying seeing friends and chatting with other Saturday morning "regulars."  Then our breakfasts arrived.  We had both ordered sausage patties with our eggs.   What a surprise, what they delivered are the "new" breakfast patties that had just been introduced the day before.  We talked to the manager when she stopped by and asked her had the sausage been changed.  She first said they went to another "brand."  What!  You are Bob Evans and you are serving some other brand of sausage.  She then asked if we liked it. 

The sausage they served was pale, flat, dry and tasteless.  It tasted like the worst generic sausage you could find.  We said it was inedible and a huge disappointment.  She offered to take it off our bill.  She also said they had constant complaints since it had been introduced the day before. 

I started working for Bob Evans when I was 15 years old, serving sausage sandwiches at the Ohio State Fair when the company had a booth there.  Later I, and my sisters, worked at Bob Evans Restaurants all through college.  Our wages and tips helped to pay tuition and college expenses. 

I know the Bob Evans company is now owned by Owens and is not a family owned sausage business any more.  I know you must bow down to the desires of the shareholders.   I know that cutting expenses is the way you make profits.  But serving some nasty sausage in your restaurants is not the way to make friends or keep your old friends happy.  If the corporate wonks think that this is an acceptable way of keeping expenses low you really need to get out of your offices, visit your stores and talk to your customers!

It's just sad to see another thing being changed in the name of profits and corporate cost cutting.  It would be like McDonalds serving a Big Mac without the "special sauce."  It's just not the same and I am sad to see the change. 

We will now be ordering bacon or ham when we visit Bob Evans for breakfast unless they bring back the original sausage. 

Who is the next change agent?

I have been missing for the last couple of weeks.  Between the holidays and travel and the Polar Vortex making Indiana as cold as Anchorage Alaska it has been a busy time.  So I start 2014 with the question I have been asking people as I talk to them.  Who is the next great change agent?

With the passing of Nelson Mandela and comparisons of him to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gandhi and other great change leaders of that generation I have been thinking about who is next?  Who will be the next person to rise and attack a major human wrong and lead the way to a wide-sweeping change in the way we as humans treat those who are less fortunate than us.

I have asked several people as I see them who they see as the next great leader/change agent and amazingly none of them can come up with a name.  I read about business leaders having great ideas (drones to deliver our packages from Amazon!) or political leaders who say the way we are going is wrong and we need to strike out in a new direction.  Yet I don't see the rise of someone who is saying they see a way to further attack inequities, discrimination, poverty or other problems plaguing our lives here on Planet Earth.

My husband forwarded a blog post to me today from Bob Lefsetz (http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/) who normally writes about the music business.  He was lamenting the same thing mainly that there is so much inequity in this world that we may never overcome it.  "The truth is the game is rigged.  And until we're willing to stand back and say we're mad as hell and we're not gonna take it anymore...."


This is not a call to action.  But if anyone who reads this blog knows of an emerging change agent, someone who you see will change the way we treat others in the future, or who will open opportunities for those who have none now, then let me know. 

Just a quick edit.  Today it was announced that singer, songwriter, activist Pete Seeger died at the age of 94 .  To paraphrase one of the quotes I read in his obituary, maybe we don't need one great leader but many small leaders.  So maybe the next change agent will come with the small things people do everyday that makes a difference in someone's life.