Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year!

As 2012 draws to a close like many other people I am reflecting on the past year and hoping for the new year. 

Looking back it is easy to focus on the negative things that happened in 2012.  My mother ended her journey in this life after a long battle with Alzheimer's.   Two of my sisters battled breast cancer, going through surgeries and exhausting treatments.  My husband and I lost several friends, who died this past year.  We have struggled financially.

Yet when I look at the past year through a different lens I can see how we were blessed tremendously in the midst of trials and sadness.  The end of my mother's life was an answer to prayer as her Alzheimer's had progressed to the point that she did not know us any more.  My sisters' journey through cancer has shown us what strong and resilient women they are.  My husband and I have learned to live with less and appreciate what we have. 

Other blessings this year, my son is in a great relationship with a wonderful young woman.  They are engaged and expecting their "first" child in February.  I'm looking forward to being a grandmother and experiencing that phase of my life.  I am two classes, comprehensive exams and one dissertation from completing my doctorate.  This has been a five year journey that has demonstrated to me that we are never too old to return to school and acquire learning.  I am also grateful to have an employer who values me as an employee and has supported me in my educational journey. 

Next year will bring new life as our extended family expands with the addition of grandchildren.  I'm not expecting everything to be perfect next year but I do know that with the support of family and faith nothing is insurmountable. 

I wish you all the best next year.  May you be able to look at the things that are negative in your life and see them through a new lens also. 

Happy New Year.  May 2013 be a year of new beginnings, blessings and wonderful opportunities. 

Monday, December 24, 2012

"You live where you live!"

Over the weekend my husband and I were at the grocery store picking up a few final things for Christmas.  The young man who picks up the carts in the parking lot followed us to the car to get our cart.  We always talk to him and he often has words of wisdom.  It was a cold, icy day in Indiana and my husband was complaining about the weather.  The young man, who is developmentally challenged asked him why he did not move to Florida.  My husband responded that we could not do that right now.  The young man responded with, "You live where you live!" 

That statement struck me as so profound.  It reminded me that anyplace we happen to be can be a place of beauty and peace.  It also reminded me that if I am unhappy with something I can either change my situation or just accept it and look for the best. 

In this season of wonder with the celebration of the birth of Christ it seems we are also overwhelmed with sadness.  The tragedy in Connecticut has struck at the hearts of so many of us.  Personally I am dealing with the recent passing of my mother after a long illness.  On the positive side we are awaiting the birth of our first grandchild in early 2013. 

I have had trouble getting into the spirit of the season this year.  Yet God works in some amazing ways.  Who knew that I would find a spiritual lift in the parking lot of the grocery store from the words of the young man who picks up the carts. 

So where ever you are I hope you have a wonderful holiday and the Merry Christmas.  Remember, "You live where you live!" 

Monday, December 3, 2012

"Watch the Ice"


I wrote the following to be included in my mother's funeral service this week:  

While my sisters and I were growing up we lived in a house that faced north and so in the winter when the snow and ice would melt off the roof there usually was a patch of ice on the front walkway most of the coldest winter months.  As we were leaving through the front door to catch the bus in the morning for school one of the last things we heard from Mother was “Watch the ice.” 

As we entered our teenage years that phrase usually got an eye roll and an adolescent sigh response from us but Mother continued to say it.  It became a source of humor for us as we grew older.

Then as I became an adult, moved away and eventually had a child of my own the phrase still followed me.  When I would leave my parents’ house after a visit in the winter one of the last things I heard from Mother was “Watch the ice” even if there was none in sight.  As our parents grew older and our roles reversed, with me watching out for their safety, I often found myself saying to Mother and Dad “Watch the ice” as we went out on a winter day during one of my visits.  I was fortunate for many years that even though l lived in Indiana my work brought me to Columbus or Ohio so I could include a visit to them.  Thinking back I now cherish those times together when we would sit in their living room or in the gazebo at their last house talking, laughing and reminiscing.  

Now as we are saying goodbye to our mother as she has left this life I was reminded of “Watch the ice.”  I realize now it become a code for “Take care, be safe, I love you”  

I know Mother has left this life and moved on to Heaven.  I’m also pretty sure there are no icy sidewalks in Paradise.  Yet as we say goodbye I want her to know that I have appreciated all her care over my life.  In her own way she loved all of us and communicated that love through everyday phrases such as “Watch the ice.” 

Also, as my life continues and until that moment when I step between this life and the next in Heaven, when I walk on the sidewalks in winter I will hear in my mind Mother saying “Watch the Ice.” 

Now I know it really means  “Take care, be safe, I love you.”  

As I may say that phrase to those I love and the grandchild on the way please know that in saying “Watch the ice” I am expressing my love for my family as love was expressed to me by my mother. 

Friday, November 30, 2012

Loss

This week I am late in posting.  I really try to do this early in the week but this week got away from me.  Yesterday I got "the call" from my sister that our mother had passed away unexpectedly.  She was 88 and had been in a nursing home for a few years with advancing Alzheimer's.   The last time I was there she did not know my sister and I. 

Although I am sad she is gone it seems as if I have been mourning her for years.  As her thinking became more fragmented and muddled and she forgot daily skills such as walking, each resulted in new mourning.  We lost our mother months ago, its just that her body continued working.

She was of that generation that just kept moving forward.  Four years ago she fell down the stairs and broke her hip.  That injury, which is usually the beginning of the end for many older folks, was the start of her downward spiral.  First to go were her physical abilities and later her thinking and memory. 

When I got the call from my sister we both had a laugh/cry about what was it like for our mother when she stepped out of this world and into heaven.  My mother was a woman of deep faith so I know that she is with the Lord right now.  I just wonder at that moment when this life ended and her eternal life began what was it like?  We had prayed for the end of her pain, confusion and limited abilities.  We just were surprised that it happened so quickly and quietly.

She left this life on her terms.  I know I will see her again when my life is completed.

Mother, I hope heaven is all you imagined it would be and more.  You were loved and you will be missed.  

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanksgiving week 2012

Thanksgiving is here.  I spent time in the grocery store this week buying what we need for our Thanksgiving dinner.  We are going non-traditional this year with Turkey Cordon Bleu and Twice Baked Sweet Potatoes.  I will let you know how they turn out. 

It seems like Thanksgiving has almost been overshadowed with holiday shopping and Black Friday sales.  I'm trying not to get caught up in all the excitement of shopping.  With a grandson being born in February I have other things to focus on other than whether I can get the best deal on something at Target or somewhere else. 

I enjoy Thanksgiving because it is a chance to gather with friends and family and enjoy everyone before all the craziness of Christmas and the holidays.  I love the cooking and food and sharing of time and stories and love. 

Enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend.  I will be thinking of everyone on Friday morning (or Thanksgiving evening) who are checking out the sales.  I will enjoy this week but also am looking forward to the lights, smells and sounds of the Christmas season (as well as the Winter Solstice). 

Monday, November 12, 2012

Weather, football, Thanksgiving (Gratitude Part 3)

First of all I am so happy the election is over.  Here in Indiana we were inundated with commercials and mailings for our highly contested senatorial race.  My sister who lives in Ohio has said that someone else can be the battleground state next time.  In addition to non-stop commercials she said they had 6 - 10 phone calls a night from special interest groups as well as people walking the neighborhoods trying to influence their votes.  I told her Ohio needs to become either Republican or Democrat and stop being so wishy-washy about who they support.  So I am grateful the votes have been cast, results tabulated and winners announced.  I'm especially grateful to see commercials for Black Friday sales rather than candidates. 

This last weekend my husband and I went to Oxford Ohio for a football and hockey game on Saturday at Miami University (our alma mater).  It was a beautiful day for football.  Everyone kept saying that they could not believe it was November because it was sunny and warm all day.  Of course in the usual manner of the Midwest today we had a combination of snow and rain (called a wintery mix by the weather forecasters) and now it is sunny and cold.  As they say in Indiana if you don't like the weather just wait, it will change.  I am so happy to have the change of the seasons to enjoy. I know all my Florida friends and family will be talking about their wonderful warm weather in winter but I'll take the change of seasons any day - even winter. 





This is a photo of my husband and me with "Swoop" the Miami University mascot.    This weekend we enjoyed three hockey games and a football game.  I definitely had a sports overload this last weekend.  Oh well, it was a fun weekend although I may need a vacation to recover from my weekend.  
 
Can you believe next week is Thanksgiving?  I was talking to someone today and realized I needed to make a decision about cooking Thanksgiving dinner or doing something else.  I will probably go ahead and cook.  It's always fun to organize myself and get a festive meal done that everyone enjoys.  It gives me a chance to test my baking skills also. 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Election Day! (Gratitude Part 2)

In the United States it is election day.  I am so grateful to live in a country where we can participate in the political process and the governing of ourselves.  Even though I am totally finished with all the political ads and mail and political rants by my friends on Facebook I am still grateful that we are all able to to this out in the open.

Today Facebook is full of friends who are reporting they have voted and companies which are encouraging people to get out to vote.  When I taught my class this morning one of the topics we discussed was who had voted already and who planned to vote later in the day.

It's exciting to see our government change following an election. The passage of power from person to person and party to party in a manner that is civil is an incredible sight and a tribute to the genius of our founding fathers.

So today I am grateful for our political freedom and the ability to freely voice our opinions.  You may be shouted down by someone who has a different political leaning yet that freedom to be able to have our exchanges of ideas is also something for which I am grateful. 

If you have not done it already get out and vote.  You never know when one vote will make the difference in an election.  As you are standing in line take a minute to be grateful for the right to have your voice be heard in our governing process by casting your ballot. 

Friday, November 2, 2012

Gratitude

It seems like November is the month for gratitude.  I am seeing people posting things for which they are grateful on Facebook and in blogs.  One of my favorite authors, Liz Flaherty, is doing a daily gratitude list on Facebook.  So I thought I would start my November posts with my own list of things for which I am grateful. 

This is a wonderful time of year to be thinking about the things for which we give thanks.  Within the rhythm of life we are celebrating the harvests and getting ready for the cold days of winter.  As a lifelong resident of the Midwest I am grateful for the change of seasons.  The weather may change within a matter of hours yet there is nothing better than the chilly snap of a Fall day or the new growth of Spring.  I am even grateful for Winter because it allows us time to gather together on cold, dark nights and enjoy our own company as family and friends. 

I am grateful for family and friends.  I am also grateful for my faith, knowing that I am not alone on this journey through life.  I have a wonderful husband and we are still in love after over 30 years of marriage.   My son is doing well in his career and is in a fantastic relationship with a young woman I love.  My first grandchild will be born in February. 

I am grateful for an employer which allows me to work on my doctorate as well as gives me opportunities to grow and develop as a person.  I love coming to work most days because I am immersed in the culture of education and get to experience the joys and frustrations of my students' journeys. 


So think about those things for which you are grateful.  Take a few minutes every day to say "thanks" for all the things in your life you often overlook.  You may find that you become more of a "glass half full" than a "glass half empty" type of person when you focus on the things that make your life a little better. 

Back to Liz Flaherty, if you want to read a wonderful book get her novel "One More Summer"  I'm so glad I have it on my e-reader because it is a book I will read many times. 

Monday, October 22, 2012

Hockey "theater"

This past weekend my husband and I were in Ohio at college hockey games.  We are alums of the school we follow for hockey and are fortunate enough to have seats right behind the glass at the home team bench.  This weekend I got to watch some of the great "theater" of hockey. 

The coach of our team is very energetic and volatile, especially when the calls from the referee are not going the way the coach believes they should go.  For this game the referee was a guy who has been referee for the league for several years.  Although he is experienced he seemed to be missing many of the penalties done by the other team.  Isn't that just the way it always seems when your favorite team is playing?  Rarely does someone say, "wow, the ref really gave us the game by missing all of our illegal plays."  Usually it seems the ref always catches your team doing something wrong but misses the other team when it does something wrong. 

On this occasion the ref missed a call against the opposing team.  Our coach was very angry and started motioning the ref over for a "chat."  Now in hockey the head coach of the team can ask to talk to the ref, which usually happens when there is a question about a play. 

The coach was excitedly motioning the ref over and the ref stood on the other side of the rink and shook his head "No."  The coach continued to motion demanding the ref come to the bench.  Finally the ref agreed to come to our bench but he would only talk to the assistant coach who seemed much less animated about what had happened on the ice.  The ref motioned the head coach away and as he stepped away the ref skated over the talked to the assistant coach. 

We had a perfect view of this exchange between the three actors in this little drama.  I commented on the fact that all three seemed to be playing out parts in a drama.  Most of the crowd did not have the advantage we had to see this little act as part of the larger "theater" of the game that evening. 

Our team ended up winning in sudden death overtime.  The crowd was elated and we had a wonderful evening. 

It seems sometimes we get caught up in the emotion of a moment, whether it is a sporting event, or our everyday lives, and we miss the little nuances of the "theater" that happens all around us.  Whether it is the exchange between a hockey coach and a referee in the midst of a highly contested game, or the "dance" of attraction by two college students who happen to meet in the library, we all are too engaged in the excitement (or focused on our phones) to quietly watch and enjoy what is happening around us. 

So my suggestion to you is take some time and watch the "theater" of life as it takes place all around you.  Sometimes you can learn something from this observation.  Other times it is just fun to watch others play out their parts.  Overall it helps us connect with the world in which we live. 

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Will They Like Me?

As I mentioned in my profile I am a college professor.  In addition to my full time job, as well as being a student, I teach one college level class a semester.  This semester I am teaching an Introduction to Psychology class at 8:00 in the morning. 

Since I am also a student stepping into the professor's role for a class is a paradigm shift for me.  I always worry, "will they like me" or "will I do a good job"  Each class begins with trepidation and worry but as I ease into the role of "professor" I find that it is something that I can embrace and enjoy.  It was really quite an awakening for me to realize that I am the one leading this class.  Once I had realized that I was able to relax and let the class happen. 

I have found that a great class is energizing and fun.  When we being our time together as a group sometimes magic happens and it is one of the most exciting experiences I have.  Yet when we have a bad day as a group or something does not fit together well the time can be interminable.  I prefer the magic days to the days where it seems I am plodding through the material. 

So today I started with a new class of students.  We meet at 8:00 AM so most of them are just waking up, or getting off a job where they worked all night.  This group seems receptive and open to discussion so that is a positive.  They laughed at my jokes and answered when I asked questions of the group.  So far we are doing well.  I hope this is a great journey of discovery with this group of students. 

But, I still will wonder - "Will they like me?" 

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Countdown to Election

One of my frustrations right now is all the political junk on Facebook.  Many of my friends are politically active and seem to believe that we all want to know who they support, who is their choice and who says what. 

Right now I am so grateful I live in Indiana and not one of the battleground states such as Ohio.  My family is Ohio is being inundated with presidential political ads as well as receiving phone calls and getting stacks of mail about the election. 

As one person mentioned on Facebook, I wish there was a button I could push to stop anything that mentions candidates, the election and politics. 

My views do not mean that I am not involved with this election.  I plan to vote and will make every effort to choose wisely with my vote.  It is important to me as a citizen and I am still enough of an activist that I want my voice to be heard. 

It just seems that right now with all the technology and social media available we cannot get away from this.  If it is not commercials, candidates and PAC's voicing their opinions it is my friends either re-posting items on Facebook or forwarding emails.  I am so glad I do not do Twitter!

As I tell the students in the classes I teach, it is important to vote.  There have been instances where a small group of individuals voting together have changed the course of history.  As citizens of this country it is our responsibility to make our voices heard and to do that on election day.  I'm just weary of all the "stuff" that is sent our way.

There are three weeks left until election day.  Be prepared, we will be more inundated as the date gets closer.  Whatever you do, take time that day to vote!  

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Dissertation Proposal!

As I have mentioned in my profile I am a graduate student working on a doctorate in education.  This has been a journey I have been on for five years.  Many people ask me what I plan to do once I have completed my degree and I tell them not much different from what I am doing now.  I'll have more time to read things other than academic journals and textbooks.  I also won't be traveling to my college which is 50 miles away from my house, each way. 

So right now I am working on the proposal for my dissertation.  Throughout this academic journey I am amazed at the changes that have taken place since I was in college (undergraduate and graduate) years ago.  I am able to take classes with people from all over the country through online learning.  I also have not stepped into a college bookstore during my tenure working on this degree (but I know Amazon very well - thank goodness for Amazon Student!). 

As I am doing the work on the literature review for my dissertation I have not had to visit the library at my school.  I am spending many hours on the virtual library and finding much of what I need.  There may be a need for me to look at actual documents rather than documents online but so far I have managed to find everything I need online.  I remember as an undergrad, many years ago, spending untold hours in the stacks at the library at my college looking up articles and sources for research papers. 

I love the convenience of doing my searches online and having the resources available to me whenever I have a little bit of time to work.  Yet it seems like something is missing.  The library, in addition to being a source of knowledge, was also a source of connection and community when I was in college.  Visiting the library allowed you to catch up with friends and spend time together. 

This is not a whine about the "good old days."  Trust me I would not give up my Kindle Fire and the ability to download books immediately from Amazon or the library.  I love the convenience of technology and the immediacy of it, in terms of access.  Yet I can still remember spending hours in the stacks, hearing the hum of the white noise in the library and trying to stay awake while doing research.  Then after my work was completed I would walk back to my dorm on a cold, or snowy night bundled up and carrying books and the fruits of my labor. 

We have gained so much with the advances in technology but maybe lost a little also.  Think about that when you are connecting at your next WIFI Hot Spot. 

Monday, September 24, 2012

Fall Equinox

Last Saturday I was rushing around to get my list of errands done so I could rush home and start my list of home projects for that day.  As I was leaving the grocery store the young man who picks up the carts from the parking lot followed me to my car to get my cart.  Now this young man is intellectually challenged yet he takes great pride in his job.  When he is at work the parking lot is always free of carts and he takes a few minutes to chat with guests.  He loves sports and is very knowledgeable about what is happening with our local professional football team. 

As we were talking he mentioned that the first day of fall was coming.  I asked him when it was arriving because I had forgotten the exact date.  He said at 10:40 AM on that day.  I looked at my watch and it was exactly 10:40 AM on Saturday September 21, 2012.  I said it is now the first day of fall.  He responded with "Summer's over!" 

We both took a few seconds to celebrate the passing of summer and the arrival of a new season.  If I would not have taken a minute to talk to him and enter his world I would have missed that event.  Fall is my favorite time of year even though it is followed by winter. 

It seems that in our busy, busy days we do not take enough time to celebrate the small moments, such as the moment when we move from one season to another.  I am very grateful to this young man who shared his wisdom with me on a Saturday morning in the parking lot of the grocery store.  Instead of hastily throwing my groceries into the trunk of my car and moving on to the next item on my list I took a few moments to take a breath and realize that a new season was starting. 

So as you begin a new week take some time and look up from your smart phones and iPads.  Connect with someone who touches your life in an everyday occurrence.  You may have an experience where you gather some new wisdom, enjoy a moment in passing or your entire paradigm shifts to the positive. 

Those few minutes with that young man made my entire weekend much more enjoyable.  I am grateful to him for sharing them with me. 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Perestroika and Glasnost

You are probably thinking what do two Russian terms that were made famous by Mikhail Gorbachev in the mid - 1980's have to do with anything?  Perestroika was used for market reforms and restructuring the economy.  Glasnost is democratic reforms, more freedoms and open elections. 

Currently my husband and I are hosting a young Russian hockey player who is living with us for several months while he plays hockey in the United States.  He came to this country knowing very little English.  My husband and I know no Russian. 

Thank goodness for the player's iPad and our smart phones.  All are loaded with language translation software and we are able to muddle through some basic conversations.  I really appreciate all the people at Google Translate who worked so hard to bring this app to those of us who are trying to communicate with someone who does not speak the same language. 

A few years ago we hosted a Czech hockey player who also did not speak any English.  Then we had to depend on our trusty English - Czech/ Czech - English Dictionary to look up individual words.  Now we can type, or even speak, whole sentences into our devices and are able to "talk." 

As a digital immigrant I often struggle with new technology and trying to figure it out.  Yet right now I would not trade my smart phone and its translation software for anything.  I'm even picking up a few new words in Russian! 

Thanks to all the geeks at Google.  You have made my life much easier today! 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

First Thoughts


This blog is something I have wanted to do for quite a while.  Since writing is a big part of my life as a college instructor and a doctoral student I felt the need to write even more and post some of my observations and thoughts on this blog.  I will update it with my thoughts on this journey through our world that is filled with technology.  Yet as a Baby Boomer I can remember life with only three television stations and no cell phones.

The photograph I am using for this blog for the moment was taken by my young friend Stacy Beery.  This was taken on a cruise she took to Antarctica.  Sometimes I feel like this little seal, just watching and observing as life passes me by.  Other times I jump in and immerse myself in what is happening around me.

Stacy, who took this photo, is one of those young adults who is jumping in and making a difference in this world.  If you want to keep up with what she is doing go to Facebook and check out the Seeds of Our Future Project.  Once you like the Seeds of Our Future Project you will be updated on what Stacy is doing in South Africa.

Thanks for reading.  I look forward to continuing this journey and sharing my thoughts.