Out of Pain Comes Growth

This week I read an article by Dr. Everett Piper, President of Oklahoma Wesleyan University (This is not a day care. It's a university!)  In the article Dr. Piper talked about students who approach him complaining about topics that make them feel uncomfortable.  He went on to say that it is not the goal of the university to make students feel safe and comfortable but to challenge them to have feelings that will make them change. 

This topic was also brought to mind when I was teaching my Introduction to Psychology class this week.  We were talking about psychological therapies, and the discussion was on mental health counseling.  One student raised her hand as I was describing the counseling relationship and asked whether counseling should make you uncomfortable.  What an excellent question!  Yes, if a therapist and a client/patient are in too comfortable of a relationship then there will not be any progress.  I was trying to demonstrate to the class that although certain types of counseling used empathy and unconditional positive regard as part of the therapeutic process there should also be discomfort or the client/patient will not make any movement toward a healthier emotional state.

This semester I have been immersed in the concepts of microaggressions and trigger words as I have been working with students and also teaching classes.  This got me thinking about how people fear discomfort. 

Life is not here to provide you with a comfortable existence!  In fact if we all get too comfortable then we will not make any progress, both physically or emotionally.  We will present ourselves as "victims" and see others as "oppressors."  As people who are runners and physical fitness experts know, out of the pain of a workout comes progress toward physical fitness goals.  As I was getting a massage this week I also thought that out of the pain of the massage will come new comfort for me and my muscles. 

I see my students and many other people wanting to have a comfortable academic and emotional life.  Again that is not the way the process works!  Out of the pain of conflict or discord comes reconciliation and understanding.   I don't see myself growing as an individual unless I challenge myself and my beliefs and emotions.  It is through the challenge that I grow as a person, parent, friend, Christian and wife. 

So embrace the challenges and discomfort.  They will lead you to an existence as a stronger person and someone who knows where you stand and what you believe.