Here we are, it is about seven weeks until the November 8 election and it seems we have been blasted with political stuff for years. I am not promoting any candidate or political party. I also have voted every year since I was eligible to vote, so I am someone who participates in our civic responsibility to vote.
In Indiana we first had the innundation of ads for the presidential primary. There were still many candidates so all were advertising. It was after the Indiana primary that both party candidates became "presumptive" so later primaries were not as frantic. Now we are in the midst of the main cycle of advertisements.
Indiana is not really a target for the presidential candidates, it is presumed that Donald Trump will take our state easily. So they will focus their efforts elsewhere (whew!) For Indiana the battle is between the parties for the open Senate seat (which is believed to be a priority for both parties) as well as for the governor's office (remember our sitting governor, Mike Pence is on the Republican ticket for Vice President).
So for weeks we have been pummeled with ads for the senate and governor's race. They have been nasty, distasteful and just downright annoying. Hardly any of them focus on the issues but mostly on how the other person is: (pick one or all): A. dishonest, B. unqualified, C. not interested in the citizens of our state or D. other negative attributes.
I am over all of this. At some point I hope the candidates quit pointing fingers at each other and just focus on what we need as a state or country. I will just stay out of it until the election is over. Right now I am just grateful for the fact that I do not live close to Ohio or Illinois. It would be additional misery to get the Indiana ads in addition to either of those states. I am also grateful for our DVR so we can just skip through all those commercials when we are watching our recorded shows.
Monday, September 19, 2016
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
My Partner in Crime, 10,669 steps, and the Ugg Store
This last weekend Pack Rat, my husband, had a fraternity reunion. Many of the guys who were at his fraternity in college were getting together for a weekend of catching up, dinner, brunch and a day of golf. The reunion was in Columbus Ohio, where his youngest sister, Partner in Crime, lives. He asked if I wanted to come with his for the weekend and I quickly agreed. I told him while he was reconnecting with his college buddies I would do something with his sister.
I contacted Partner in Crime and told her we were going to be in town last weekend and we both had the same idea:
Power Shopping!
We have not participated together in retail therapy for a while so we decided to check out the stores around Columbus. I left it to her to plan our itinerary, she does a much better job than I do at that.
We first met for lunch so she could catch up with her brother before he joined the festivities with his college buddies. Then Partner in Crime and I hit the stores. First stop - a fashion warehouse. This was no frills shopping but we dug in and found some great deals. I got a dress and a top for a grand total of $4.20!
Next stop the new outlet mall north of Columbus. It was packed! After we found a parking space we hit the stores. It was a beautiful day and we saw lots of people shopping also, many carrying lots of shopping bags. The best part of spending the day with Partner in Crime is that we talk the entire time. We catch up on family gossip, re-examine what is happening with everyone, talk about ourselves and plan our next get together. Her brother and I have been together for over 40 years so I saw Partner in Crime grow up and we have a long history together.
After visiting every place we wanted to see at the outlet mall, some of them twice, we ended up at the UGG store. This is where we found the holy grail of shopping - a clearance section with 70% off and then another 20% off! I bought some boots and so did she. In fact she loved it so much she went back on Sunday and bought three more pairs of boots!
It was a wonderful day. We walked lots, ate several times, talked ourselves silly and found some great bargains. But the best part was the chance to spend time with someone I like and who shares much of the same history I have. It was a total success and I did not have to listen to all the stories from Pack Rat's college days(I was there, I lived them).
I contacted Partner in Crime and told her we were going to be in town last weekend and we both had the same idea:
Power Shopping!
We have not participated together in retail therapy for a while so we decided to check out the stores around Columbus. I left it to her to plan our itinerary, she does a much better job than I do at that.
We first met for lunch so she could catch up with her brother before he joined the festivities with his college buddies. Then Partner in Crime and I hit the stores. First stop - a fashion warehouse. This was no frills shopping but we dug in and found some great deals. I got a dress and a top for a grand total of $4.20!
Next stop the new outlet mall north of Columbus. It was packed! After we found a parking space we hit the stores. It was a beautiful day and we saw lots of people shopping also, many carrying lots of shopping bags. The best part of spending the day with Partner in Crime is that we talk the entire time. We catch up on family gossip, re-examine what is happening with everyone, talk about ourselves and plan our next get together. Her brother and I have been together for over 40 years so I saw Partner in Crime grow up and we have a long history together.
After visiting every place we wanted to see at the outlet mall, some of them twice, we ended up at the UGG store. This is where we found the holy grail of shopping - a clearance section with 70% off and then another 20% off! I bought some boots and so did she. In fact she loved it so much she went back on Sunday and bought three more pairs of boots!
It was a wonderful day. We walked lots, ate several times, talked ourselves silly and found some great bargains. But the best part was the chance to spend time with someone I like and who shares much of the same history I have. It was a total success and I did not have to listen to all the stories from Pack Rat's college days(I was there, I lived them).
Friday, July 8, 2016
July 4th Thoughts
I have a love/hate relationship with the 4th of July. I love celebrating our country and July 4th is the perfect summer holiday. Who can dislike cookouts, parades, family reunions, enjoying the summer weather and everything else we do in the middle of summer.
Living in Indiana the summers are hot and humid. There is nothing like going to a picnic in the summer where the food is great and the weather is sultry. We all sit in the shade, eating and talking. Summer watermelons are my favorite, sweet, ripe and juicy. Here is my grandson Ronan enjoying watermelon on the porch last summer.
I am grateful for the sacrifice of those who have fought for, or who help to maintain our freedoms. We should all express our gratitude to military veterans, police and first responders who have put their lives on the line so we can enjoy our freedom and celebrations.
There is nothing as heart rousing as patriotic American music being played for the 4th of July. I love a concert of patriotic songs, the 1812 Overture (with cannons and fireworks) and John Phillips Sousa marches as much as the next person.
Yet, I did mention love/hate. The hate part of the holiday are the "personal fireworks." Here in Indiana personal fireworks are legal. So in our area people (who must spend a fortune on their personal fireworks) start exploding everything in site for days up to the Fourth and for days afterwards.
I don't understand the need to set off explosive devises for days and hours as a celebration of the birthday of our country. The windows of my house rattle from the explosions. My dogs will jump and bark at the explosions and bangs.
Every year there are reports of people ( and children) burned by exploding fireworks or fires started by them ( both structure fires and wild fires). Come on! Do we really need to set off explosions for days to celebrate the birth of the United States.
My guess is that the founding fathers would be totally baffled by the need of Americans to blow up things on this holiday. I am not squelching this summer fun, but do we really need to have it for days prior to and after the holiday?
Living in Indiana the summers are hot and humid. There is nothing like going to a picnic in the summer where the food is great and the weather is sultry. We all sit in the shade, eating and talking. Summer watermelons are my favorite, sweet, ripe and juicy. Here is my grandson Ronan enjoying watermelon on the porch last summer.
I am grateful for the sacrifice of those who have fought for, or who help to maintain our freedoms. We should all express our gratitude to military veterans, police and first responders who have put their lives on the line so we can enjoy our freedom and celebrations.
There is nothing as heart rousing as patriotic American music being played for the 4th of July. I love a concert of patriotic songs, the 1812 Overture (with cannons and fireworks) and John Phillips Sousa marches as much as the next person.
Yet, I did mention love/hate. The hate part of the holiday are the "personal fireworks." Here in Indiana personal fireworks are legal. So in our area people (who must spend a fortune on their personal fireworks) start exploding everything in site for days up to the Fourth and for days afterwards.
I don't understand the need to set off explosive devises for days and hours as a celebration of the birthday of our country. The windows of my house rattle from the explosions. My dogs will jump and bark at the explosions and bangs.
Every year there are reports of people ( and children) burned by exploding fireworks or fires started by them ( both structure fires and wild fires). Come on! Do we really need to set off explosions for days to celebrate the birth of the United States.
My guess is that the founding fathers would be totally baffled by the need of Americans to blow up things on this holiday. I am not squelching this summer fun, but do we really need to have it for days prior to and after the holiday?
Friday, June 24, 2016
"Wait! Back Up! I Saw Something!
Last weekend my husband and I traveled to Tennessee to see our grandson (and his dad, our son). Between the work done by my husband and son, and with summer their busy work season, it is difficult to find a weekend when both are available. Last weekend our son was in town but had rehearsals on both Saturday and Sunday. He said if we would come to his house he would be able to have his son for the weekend if we would be there to watch him during the day.
My husband and I jumped at the chance to have two entire days with our grandson. He is now three and is so much fun to be around. We spent the time watching his favorite shows, running around the yard and playing with his toys. Although he no longer takes an afternoon nap we were able to negotiate "quiet time" each afternoon. That was at the request of Grandma (me) because, to be honest I needed it!
We also had the opportunity to take our grandson to the grocery store. Our son had been traveling the last two weeks so he needed a few essentials from the store. Taking Ronan was an experience I will not forget soon.
Ronan, our grandson, agreed to ride in the cart so we could keep him somewhat contained while shopping. We did not remember that a child in a cart is at the right level to see all the things he most desires - based on the marketing geniuses who stock grocery stores.
So as we were traveling down the aisles we often heard, "Stop! Back up! I saw something!" As we would back up the cart then we would begin the negotiations.
Ronan, "I need this! It's perfect!"
Me, "Ronan, I don't think your dad would want you to have this super soaker. He will need to let us know if this is allowed."
Ronan, "Yes he will, I know"
Me, "If I call Daddy will he say yes to the super soaker?"
Ronan, "Well, maybe not."
As grandparents you have to find that delicate balance between saying yes to everything your grandchild wants and knowing what will never fly with his parents. So you learn the fine art of negotiation. Instead of the super soaker we decided on some mustaches.
So the mustaches were used on everyone, Ronan, me, the dog. His grandpa did not get a mustache because he already has one. Fortunately I got mine before it was used on the dog.
Being a grandparent allows you to get in touch with your inner child. I would not wear a mustache for anyone else but my grandson!
My husband and I jumped at the chance to have two entire days with our grandson. He is now three and is so much fun to be around. We spent the time watching his favorite shows, running around the yard and playing with his toys. Although he no longer takes an afternoon nap we were able to negotiate "quiet time" each afternoon. That was at the request of Grandma (me) because, to be honest I needed it!
We also had the opportunity to take our grandson to the grocery store. Our son had been traveling the last two weeks so he needed a few essentials from the store. Taking Ronan was an experience I will not forget soon.
Ronan, our grandson, agreed to ride in the cart so we could keep him somewhat contained while shopping. We did not remember that a child in a cart is at the right level to see all the things he most desires - based on the marketing geniuses who stock grocery stores.
So as we were traveling down the aisles we often heard, "Stop! Back up! I saw something!" As we would back up the cart then we would begin the negotiations.
Ronan, "I need this! It's perfect!"
Me, "Ronan, I don't think your dad would want you to have this super soaker. He will need to let us know if this is allowed."
Ronan, "Yes he will, I know"
Me, "If I call Daddy will he say yes to the super soaker?"
Ronan, "Well, maybe not."
As grandparents you have to find that delicate balance between saying yes to everything your grandchild wants and knowing what will never fly with his parents. So you learn the fine art of negotiation. Instead of the super soaker we decided on some mustaches.
So the mustaches were used on everyone, Ronan, me, the dog. His grandpa did not get a mustache because he already has one. Fortunately I got mine before it was used on the dog.
Being a grandparent allows you to get in touch with your inner child. I would not wear a mustache for anyone else but my grandson!
Friday, June 17, 2016
Social Media Envy
Right now it is summer semester at the college where I work. So I am teaching an advanced level psychology class online - abnormal psychology. Many of my students are from other colleges and are taking this class to pick up some credits toward their academic goals.
As a professor I am always looking for timely material that will help me make psychology relevant to my students who are mostly millennials. I often tell them that I am a digital immigrant so for me staying connected through social media is not intuitive.
So recently I have been reading about something called social media envy. This is a condition, that has been studied in several research articles, where those who are active on social media can develop depression based on their envy of their friends seemingly perfect lives on social media.
You know what that is like, the friends who post photos of their wonderful vacations, their beautiful and delicious meals and who have perfect, photogenic children. As people are lurking on social media they see their friends lives which are much more fun, beautiful and more perfect than theirs. This envy can lead to depression, "Wow, ____'s life is so much better than mine! What is wrong with my life that it is not as wonderful as ______'s?"
Constant comparison of our lives to those of our social media "friends" who seem to have everything going for them leads those of us with just regular lives to experience envy and depression. Believe me this is a real condition!
So what can we do? It is important to know that those people with the perfect lives are probably just a hum drum as the rest of us. They are just better at navigating social media! Just as college entrance exams don't really test your knowledge but your test-taking ability. Extensive use of social media to broadcast your perfect life is more a measure of your use of social media, and comfort with sharing your life with your friends than the perfection of your life.
So the rest of us who don't share every little nuance of our lives are not less perfect, we just don't feel the need to constantly share, tweet, snap or whatever.
What do you think? Do you get envious and depressed watching the perfection of your social media friends?
As a professor I am always looking for timely material that will help me make psychology relevant to my students who are mostly millennials. I often tell them that I am a digital immigrant so for me staying connected through social media is not intuitive.
So recently I have been reading about something called social media envy. This is a condition, that has been studied in several research articles, where those who are active on social media can develop depression based on their envy of their friends seemingly perfect lives on social media.
You know what that is like, the friends who post photos of their wonderful vacations, their beautiful and delicious meals and who have perfect, photogenic children. As people are lurking on social media they see their friends lives which are much more fun, beautiful and more perfect than theirs. This envy can lead to depression, "Wow, ____'s life is so much better than mine! What is wrong with my life that it is not as wonderful as ______'s?"
Constant comparison of our lives to those of our social media "friends" who seem to have everything going for them leads those of us with just regular lives to experience envy and depression. Believe me this is a real condition!
So what can we do? It is important to know that those people with the perfect lives are probably just a hum drum as the rest of us. They are just better at navigating social media! Just as college entrance exams don't really test your knowledge but your test-taking ability. Extensive use of social media to broadcast your perfect life is more a measure of your use of social media, and comfort with sharing your life with your friends than the perfection of your life.
So the rest of us who don't share every little nuance of our lives are not less perfect, we just don't feel the need to constantly share, tweet, snap or whatever.
What do you think? Do you get envious and depressed watching the perfection of your social media friends?
Monday, June 6, 2016
Reciprocity and Social Contracts
One of the classes I teach at the community college where I work is Social Psychology. It is one of my favorite classes where we explore humans as social beings and how we interact with each other. One of the theories we explore is how relationships can be seen as social contracts. Within this theory is the belief that all relationships exist for the people in the relationship to realize something. That may include friendships that help those in the relationship overcome loneliness. Another example is a romance based on great sex. This theory sets forth that all relationships are based on a social exchange system where the individuals in the relationship enter to get something and when they are no longer realizing what they desire the relationship is over.
This theory came to mind recently when I was frustrated about a my relationship with a friend. This friend is someone I worked with at my previous employer. While we worked together we became very close friends - or at least I thought that was so. Our jobs overlapped so we often found ourselves working on projects together and depending on each other for results in our work assignments. Several years ago I left that employer to pursue other interests. I stayed in touch with my friend through email and Facebook. When I was in the part of town where her office was located I would often take time to stop by and visit. As time went on our communication became more sporadic and the time between visits lengthened. She recently left that same employer and is now going through a career change herself. I sent an email to her last week asking if we could meet. So far no response.
Now I know people change and stuff happens. We all move on in our lives and may lose touch with those people who we consider friends. Yet in thinking about our relationship (or lack of one) I have come to the point where I am no longer going to reach out to her. That does not mean that if she should reach out to me in the future I won't respond. I just will not put any more energy into reaching out to her because it seems that staying in touch is not important to her.
How do you handle relationships that have run their course? Do you just let them go - saying enough is enough? I have started to look at relationships in terms of reciprocity. What am I investing and what is the other person investing? There seems a time when you just have to say "I'm done" and move on.
This theory came to mind recently when I was frustrated about a my relationship with a friend. This friend is someone I worked with at my previous employer. While we worked together we became very close friends - or at least I thought that was so. Our jobs overlapped so we often found ourselves working on projects together and depending on each other for results in our work assignments. Several years ago I left that employer to pursue other interests. I stayed in touch with my friend through email and Facebook. When I was in the part of town where her office was located I would often take time to stop by and visit. As time went on our communication became more sporadic and the time between visits lengthened. She recently left that same employer and is now going through a career change herself. I sent an email to her last week asking if we could meet. So far no response.
Now I know people change and stuff happens. We all move on in our lives and may lose touch with those people who we consider friends. Yet in thinking about our relationship (or lack of one) I have come to the point where I am no longer going to reach out to her. That does not mean that if she should reach out to me in the future I won't respond. I just will not put any more energy into reaching out to her because it seems that staying in touch is not important to her.
How do you handle relationships that have run their course? Do you just let them go - saying enough is enough? I have started to look at relationships in terms of reciprocity. What am I investing and what is the other person investing? There seems a time when you just have to say "I'm done" and move on.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
I got nothing!
For the last few weeks I have been opening this blog and planning to write something. Yet when I get to this item on my "to do" list I can't think of anything to write. Is this writer's block or something else?
Right now things are difficult at work. Decisions have been made regarding my work in which I am not in agreement. Yet I have to do what I am told when the decision is taken out of my hands. This week change and things will get better but right now it is pretty rocky. I'm fighting hard not to end up in the pit of depression. Even my smart phone is acting up, it is using the battery power really quickly so I have to charge it several times a day.
I have checked with Google on how I can fix my cell phone but the instructions are pretty involved and I either don't have the energy or the time to go through all the steps that are recommended. So I just hang on and hope things will be better, or I will end up getting a new phone.
What do you do when you are just a a low ebb in life? I need some boosters for my psyche right now. I will work harder at eating right and getting some exercise every day. That always seems to help me.
So, I am sorry I am using this space to do a little whining. I know things will change and turn around for the better. Send some good thoughts and prayers my way.
Right now things are difficult at work. Decisions have been made regarding my work in which I am not in agreement. Yet I have to do what I am told when the decision is taken out of my hands. This week change and things will get better but right now it is pretty rocky. I'm fighting hard not to end up in the pit of depression. Even my smart phone is acting up, it is using the battery power really quickly so I have to charge it several times a day.
I have checked with Google on how I can fix my cell phone but the instructions are pretty involved and I either don't have the energy or the time to go through all the steps that are recommended. So I just hang on and hope things will be better, or I will end up getting a new phone.
What do you do when you are just a a low ebb in life? I need some boosters for my psyche right now. I will work harder at eating right and getting some exercise every day. That always seems to help me.
So, I am sorry I am using this space to do a little whining. I know things will change and turn around for the better. Send some good thoughts and prayers my way.
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