You know you have been married for a long time...

This week was Pack Rat's and my anniversary.  It was definitely an exciting event.  On Tuesday night after we both got home from work we were watching the news.  The announcer recounted that April 19 was the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing.

"Wait a minute!" said Pack Rat, "Is today April 19?"

Me, "Yes, oh my goodness, it's our anniversary"  So you see Pack Rat is not the only clueless person in the family.

"Happy Anniversary" we say to each other.

Not exactly the exciting, romantic type of anniversary celebration many people experience.  When you have been married 41 years like we have I guess it is just another day.

To be honest I had thought about it a few days earlier and had planned to make a nice dinner so we can have a quiet evening at home.  We are going into Pack Rat's busy time of the year with work so for him it is hard to find a weekend or an evening that he is free for dinner out. 

I have had the honor and blessing to have been married to my best friend as well as a wonderful husband.  Yes, we have our squabbles but overall it has been a wonderful journey and I hope we have many more years together. 

Happy Anniversary, Pack Rat! 

A blessing and a curse.

Being a writer I am often playing out scenarios in my head.  I may see something during the day and all of a sudden I am thinking, "Wow, I need to remember that for a book."  Sometimes I write the ideas down to pull out later.  More often I think of writing them down and then they are lost in the many things that happen throughout the day.  This can be a blessing or a curse. 

Last week I was at the physical therapist's starting some treatment for a sore shoulder. (the reason for the sore shoulder is another story I won't share here)   There was a high school age girl there working on some exercises.  I don't know anything about her other than she was very cute, very high energy and very talkative.  As she was leaving she mentioned that the prom was that weekend.  The physical therapist mentioned, as a joke, that he hoped her date did not cancel on her.  Then he said, "wait, you would drag his dead body to the prom with you!"

I was not included in the conversation but once I heard that I started laughing.  In my mind I saw this beautiful girl all dressed up in her prom garb dragging the dead body of her boyfriend (also dressed up in his tux or whatever they wear now) to the prom with her.  I thought what a great story title,  Zombie Prom! 

That is the blessing of having a writer's mind.  The curse is that sometimes I come up with stories about people that are no where close to the truth.

Recently our neighbor, who is a woman who lives alone because her children are all grown, had a younger man move in with her.  My husband and I were speculating about their relationship.  Well, I was thinking,  "Good for her, a younger man!"  My mind immediately in the gutter (hubba! hubba!).

We were both far from the truth.  Last weekend she was out working in her yard and her head had been shaved.  We asked and she said that she had been treated for breast cancer seven years ago and it had gone into remission.  Recently it returned, with a vengeance, and she was suffering from an extremely aggressive form of cancer.  Although she is getting treatment the doctors said that she will not go back into remission again.  The treatment may help give her a little more time but she is facing the day soon when treatments will end and she will just be waiting for the cancer to end her life.  

My internal stories of an older woman with a younger man were so wrong.  The man is a friend who is there to help her with everyday tasks so she can continue to function as well as she can right now.  Her children are all grown and she lives alone so he will be helping her through her final days.

A blessing and a curse.  Sometimes my flights of fancy can be funny and give me a visual of the "Zombie Prom"  Other times I am completely wrong and someone is just trying to get through this life as best as they can.  Lesson learned - don't judge so quickly. 

Water for a Millennium!

Recently I have found that I do not like the taste of diet drinks.  I usually drink water but when I want something a little fizzy I will turn to sparkling water, with a wedge of lemon or lime in it.  Now I know that dentists say that anything that has carbonation is bad for your teeth but sometimes only something a little fizzy will do.

I bought some sparkling water from Meijer last week, where I usually shop.  It was on sale so I thought it would be fine.  Now the obsessive compulsive side of me always looks at the dates on any food.  I want to know the date for ... Use by:  Sell by:  or Best by:

Here is what the label on my sparkling water has on it:

OK, this water is Best By: May 3016!  I guess I don't have to worry about hurrying up and drinking this water right away!

I have never seen any product that is good for 1,000 years!  Will the bottle hold up that long?  Will it still be carbonated for a millennium?   Will people (if there are still people around) be drinking water in the year 3016.  Where will they store water that is good for 1,000 years?  All these thoughts just boggle my mind. 

My husband, the Pack Rat, said that it must be a misprint.  Someone at the bottling plant just keyed in the wrong number.  I find thinking about thousand year old sparkling water just staggering.

What do you think?  Is it a mistake or will this bottle be around for a thousand years? 

Phone Calls from Nashville - Priceless

One of the highlights of my week is the occasional phone call I get from Nashville, TN.  It usually goes like this,

"Hi Grandma!" says my grandson.

"Hi honey, how are you?"

"Fine Grandma, is Grandpa there?"

So usually when Ronan calls he immediately asks for the other person.  One day he called me while I was driving to work.  So I answered the phone and told him I was so happy to hear from him.  When he asked for Grandpa I told him,

"Grandpa is not with me, honey.  I am on my way to work and Grandpa is at home getting ready for work."

That call ended quickly because Ronan really wanted to talk to his grandpa.  I think he just enjoys directing the conversation and being in charge of who is on the other end.

During one conversation Ronan had talked to me and then asked to talk to his grandpa.  Then when the phone was handed back to me my husband said he thought Ronan as done.  I checked by asking for him and no one answered, so I hung up.

The phone rang immediately after that and I heard Ronan say, "Grandma, you hung up on me!"
Oh boy, was I in trouble.  I tried to explain that when I did not hear him say anything when I checked I thought he was gone.  I have now learned to wait until I am absolutely sure he has moved on before I hang up. 

Most recently we were talking to him and he proudly told us that he had "Green Coke" that day.  My husband and I thought since it was St. Patrick's Day maybe that is how he celebrated at day care.  We later found out that "Green Coke" is Sprite.  Makes sense.

The phone calls are always fun, short and a learning experience.  They are also priceless. 

The Never Ending "To Do" List

One thing that happens when you have been married forever like Pack Rat, my husband, and me is that you fall into roles within your relationship.  We each have certain jobs we have taken on as ours in the running of our house and our day to day activities.

This was brought home to my thinking because as Pack Rat was recovering and rehabbing from his total knee replacement all of the daily tasks fell on my shoulders.  For the past two months my evenings after work have consisted of walk the dogs, feed the dogs, make dinner, eat dinner, clean up dinner, do a few tasks such as a load of laundry, walk the dogs again, watch a little television, walk the dogs again, give pills to the dogs and then go to bed.  Well, in reality it has been go upstairs and fall into bed exhausted.

Pack Rat, "See, you think I do nothing but you can see that I do much more than that when you have to do it all."

Me, "Yes, I get it, no wonder I'm exhausted at the end of the day."

Pack Rat, "Maybe you will appreciate me more when I am back to full activities."

As I tell my friends, it's a good thing he had the knee replacement in the winter.  The ground was frozen and it was too much work to dig a grave in the backyard.

All kidding aside I do know that the days of me doing everything will be coming to an end.  He will soon be back to doing his tasks within our household.  I will have a new appreciation for what he does.

I am grateful that we are coming to an end of this part of our lives.   We will be back to normal and he will have the benefits of his new knee.

So we don't realize all the little things that our partners in life do daily to help things go smoothly within the workings of our households or relationships.  I do know that I am grateful for everything he does do and I am grateful for him. 

Reinvented - Steven Tyler Style!

Recently I have been fascinated with people who are in the process of reinventing themselves.  Last Sunday at church I was talking to a young couple we know. They were telling me that they are selling their house in the suburbs and moving to a condo in the city.  One reason for the move is they will be closer to work, within walking distance.  The other reason is that the move brings them closer to the people they serve through a local organization that works with homeless youth.  Their work with this group has become so important to them that they changed their entire lifestyle to devote more time to what they love doing.  This young couple is reinventing their lives to be able to provide service to a group of individuals in need. 

It seems I have been surrounded by people who are in the process of reinventing themselves recently.  Some are making changes to simplify their lives.  Others have reached the end of a career and are taking what they know to develop new jobs or work in other fields.

Last weekend I was working around the house and my husband, the Pack Rat, called me.

"Carolyn, there is a new show with Steven Tyler on it.  You should come and watch this!" 

Now I am probably a marginal Aerosmith fan.  I have seen them several times in person but have never been a raving fan of the band or Steven Tyler, their front man. 

"OK, I'm coming."  I reluctantly said.  So I joined the Pack Rat thinking I would watch maybe one song and move on. 

The show was the CMA songwriters series, Front and Center.

(http://www.frontandcenter.com/cma-songwriters-series-steven-tyler/)  Steven Tyler was performing his body of songwriting work but in an unplugged format.  He was backed by a group of young musicians and the songs had a definite country music bent.  

So watching maybe one song ended with me sitting through the entire show and loving it!  I have told several people about it and now am writing about it.  What really struck me was hearing those songs in a new format, performed by wonderful musicians.  Steven seemed to be having a great time working with this group.  Overall it was an experience where I realized that here is someone else who has reinvented himself, and has done it quite well. 

So reinvention is happening all around us.  It can be a young couple changing their lifestyle to better serve their community.  It can be a baby boomer like me who left one career, went back to school and now works with college students, loving every minute of it.  It can be an old rocker, like Steven Tyler, who re-imagines his music in a new format making it fresh again.  

How will you reinvent yourself.  Think about it.  Change is happening all around us.  You can choose to be part of the change. 

Pack Rat has met his match

As I mentioned in an earlier post (Pack Rat gets replacement parts) my husband, Pack Rat, had knee replacement surgery a few weeks ago.  The surgery went well and his recovery, although slower than he wanted, is progressing.  One of the people involved in his recovery is Kelly his physical therapist.

Kelly has come to the house three times a week for the last few weeks working Pack Rat through a series of exercises to help him build strength, flexibility and mobility in his knee with the replacement part.  I have been around for a few of those sessions and have had reports about the others.

Last Friday after adding some new exercises and working Pack Rat a little harder than the previous session he was reporting that he was in pain that night.  He called Kelly to tell her what was happening and asked if he should see the doctor.

Pack Rat, "Kelly, I am in more pain than usual tonight.  I am having trouble resting. Should I call the doctor."

Kelly, "Give me the number for your pain from 1 - 10."

Pack Rat, "It's probably between a 4 to a 6"

Kelly, "I can live with pain from 4 - 6.  We worked a little harder today so it probably will be a little more painful.  Just put an ice pack on it and you will feel better."

Pack Rat, "Ok"  Grumbling of course you can live with pain from 4 - 6, it's not your pain!

I know I really liked Kelly but she won my undying appreciation that evening.  Pack Rat took his pain pills and iced his knee.  It was much better later.

So in Kelly the physical therapist, Pack Rat has met his match.  She will not allow him to give in to pain but work through it.  Good for both of them!

I was thinking after doing this post what does this have to do with technology.  My generation (those of us who are Baby Boomers) are now one of the largest consumers of the medical technology of replacement parts.  Go to dinner with a group of our friends and the talk always turns to who has had what part replaced, knees, hips, shoulders, thumb joints.  Even though the mechanics (the ortho docs) are the ones who do the surgery and real heroes (and heroines) of this work are the physical therapists.  They are the ones who push the patients into healing and getting back to their regular lives. So a big shout out to the physical therapists (like Kelly) who are helping those who have replacement parts get back on their feet.  You all are wonderful!