Happy New Year!

As 2012 draws to a close like many other people I am reflecting on the past year and hoping for the new year. 

Looking back it is easy to focus on the negative things that happened in 2012.  My mother ended her journey in this life after a long battle with Alzheimer's.   Two of my sisters battled breast cancer, going through surgeries and exhausting treatments.  My husband and I lost several friends, who died this past year.  We have struggled financially.

Yet when I look at the past year through a different lens I can see how we were blessed tremendously in the midst of trials and sadness.  The end of my mother's life was an answer to prayer as her Alzheimer's had progressed to the point that she did not know us any more.  My sisters' journey through cancer has shown us what strong and resilient women they are.  My husband and I have learned to live with less and appreciate what we have. 

Other blessings this year, my son is in a great relationship with a wonderful young woman.  They are engaged and expecting their "first" child in February.  I'm looking forward to being a grandmother and experiencing that phase of my life.  I am two classes, comprehensive exams and one dissertation from completing my doctorate.  This has been a five year journey that has demonstrated to me that we are never too old to return to school and acquire learning.  I am also grateful to have an employer who values me as an employee and has supported me in my educational journey. 

Next year will bring new life as our extended family expands with the addition of grandchildren.  I'm not expecting everything to be perfect next year but I do know that with the support of family and faith nothing is insurmountable. 

I wish you all the best next year.  May you be able to look at the things that are negative in your life and see them through a new lens also. 

Happy New Year.  May 2013 be a year of new beginnings, blessings and wonderful opportunities. 

"You live where you live!"

Over the weekend my husband and I were at the grocery store picking up a few final things for Christmas.  The young man who picks up the carts in the parking lot followed us to the car to get our cart.  We always talk to him and he often has words of wisdom.  It was a cold, icy day in Indiana and my husband was complaining about the weather.  The young man, who is developmentally challenged asked him why he did not move to Florida.  My husband responded that we could not do that right now.  The young man responded with, "You live where you live!" 

That statement struck me as so profound.  It reminded me that anyplace we happen to be can be a place of beauty and peace.  It also reminded me that if I am unhappy with something I can either change my situation or just accept it and look for the best. 

In this season of wonder with the celebration of the birth of Christ it seems we are also overwhelmed with sadness.  The tragedy in Connecticut has struck at the hearts of so many of us.  Personally I am dealing with the recent passing of my mother after a long illness.  On the positive side we are awaiting the birth of our first grandchild in early 2013. 

I have had trouble getting into the spirit of the season this year.  Yet God works in some amazing ways.  Who knew that I would find a spiritual lift in the parking lot of the grocery store from the words of the young man who picks up the carts. 

So where ever you are I hope you have a wonderful holiday and the Merry Christmas.  Remember, "You live where you live!" 

"Watch the Ice"

I wrote the following to be included in my mother's funeral service this week:  

While my sisters and I were growing up we lived in a house that faced north and so in the winter when the snow and ice would melt off the roof there usually was a patch of ice on the front walkway most of the coldest winter months.  As we were leaving through the front door to catch the bus in the morning for school one of the last things we heard from Mother was “Watch the ice.” 

As we entered our teenage years that phrase usually got an eye roll and an adolescent sigh response from us but Mother continued to say it.  It became a source of humor for us as we grew older.

Then as I became an adult, moved away and eventually had a child of my own the phrase still followed me.  When I would leave my parents’ house after a visit in the winter one of the last things I heard from Mother was “Watch the ice” even if there was none in sight.  As our parents grew older and our roles reversed, with me watching out for their safety, I often found myself saying to Mother and Dad “Watch the ice” as we went out on a winter day during one of my visits.  I was fortunate for many years that even though l lived in Indiana my work brought me to Columbus or Ohio so I could include a visit to them.  Thinking back I now cherish those times together when we would sit in their living room or in the gazebo at their last house talking, laughing and reminiscing.  

Now as we are saying goodbye to our mother as she has left this life I was reminded of “Watch the ice.”  I realize now it become a code for “Take care, be safe, I love you”  

I know Mother has left this life and moved on to Heaven.  I’m also pretty sure there are no icy sidewalks in Paradise.  Yet as we say goodbye I want her to know that I have appreciated all her care over my life.  In her own way she loved all of us and communicated that love through everyday phrases such as “Watch the ice.” 

Also, as my life continues and until that moment when I step between this life and the next in Heaven, when I walk on the sidewalks in winter I will hear in my mind Mother saying “Watch the Ice.” 

Now I know it really means  “Take care, be safe, I love you.”  

As I may say that phrase to those I love and the grandchild on the way please know that in saying “Watch the ice” I am expressing my love for my family as love was expressed to me by my mother. 

Loss

This week I am late in posting.  I really try to do this early in the week but this week got away from me.  Yesterday I got "the call" from my sister that our mother had passed away unexpectedly.  She was 88 and had been in a nursing home for a few years with advancing Alzheimer's.   The last time I was there she did not know my sister and I. 

Although I am sad she is gone it seems as if I have been mourning her for years.  As her thinking became more fragmented and muddled and she forgot daily skills such as walking, each resulted in new mourning.  We lost our mother months ago, its just that her body continued working.

She was of that generation that just kept moving forward.  Four years ago she fell down the stairs and broke her hip.  That injury, which is usually the beginning of the end for many older folks, was the start of her downward spiral.  First to go were her physical abilities and later her thinking and memory. 

When I got the call from my sister we both had a laugh/cry about what was it like for our mother when she stepped out of this world and into heaven.  My mother was a woman of deep faith so I know that she is with the Lord right now.  I just wonder at that moment when this life ended and her eternal life began what was it like?  We had prayed for the end of her pain, confusion and limited abilities.  We just were surprised that it happened so quickly and quietly.

She left this life on her terms.  I know I will see her again when my life is completed.

Mother, I hope heaven is all you imagined it would be and more.  You were loved and you will be missed.  

Thanksgiving week 2012

Thanksgiving is here.  I spent time in the grocery store this week buying what we need for our Thanksgiving dinner.  We are going non-traditional this year with Turkey Cordon Bleu and Twice Baked Sweet Potatoes.  I will let you know how they turn out. 

It seems like Thanksgiving has almost been overshadowed with holiday shopping and Black Friday sales.  I'm trying not to get caught up in all the excitement of shopping.  With a grandson being born in February I have other things to focus on other than whether I can get the best deal on something at Target or somewhere else. 

I enjoy Thanksgiving because it is a chance to gather with friends and family and enjoy everyone before all the craziness of Christmas and the holidays.  I love the cooking and food and sharing of time and stories and love. 

Enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend.  I will be thinking of everyone on Friday morning (or Thanksgiving evening) who are checking out the sales.  I will enjoy this week but also am looking forward to the lights, smells and sounds of the Christmas season (as well as the Winter Solstice). 

Weather, football, Thanksgiving (Gratitude Part 3)

First of all I am so happy the election is over.  Here in Indiana we were inundated with commercials and mailings for our highly contested senatorial race.  My sister who lives in Ohio has said that someone else can be the battleground state next time.  In addition to non-stop commercials she said they had 6 - 10 phone calls a night from special interest groups as well as people walking the neighborhoods trying to influence their votes.  I told her Ohio needs to become either Republican or Democrat and stop being so wishy-washy about who they support.  So I am grateful the votes have been cast, results tabulated and winners announced.  I'm especially grateful to see commercials for Black Friday sales rather than candidates. 

This last weekend my husband and I went to Oxford Ohio for a football and hockey game on Saturday at Miami University (our alma mater).  It was a beautiful day for football.  Everyone kept saying that they could not believe it was November because it was sunny and warm all day.  Of course in the usual manner of the Midwest today we had a combination of snow and rain (called a wintery mix by the weather forecasters) and now it is sunny and cold.  As they say in Indiana if you don't like the weather just wait, it will change.  I am so happy to have the change of the seasons to enjoy. I know all my Florida friends and family will be talking about their wonderful warm weather in winter but I'll take the change of seasons any day - even winter. 

This is a photo of my husband and me with "Swoop" the Miami University mascot.    This weekend we enjoyed three hockey games and a football game.  I definitely had a sports overload this last weekend.  Oh well, it was a fun weekend although I may need a vacation to recover from my weekend.  
 
Can you believe next week is Thanksgiving?  I was talking to someone today and realized I needed to make a decision about cooking Thanksgiving dinner or doing something else.  I will probably go ahead and cook.  It's always fun to organize myself and get a festive meal done that everyone enjoys.  It gives me a chance to test my baking skills also. 

Election Day! (Gratitude Part 2)

In the United States it is election day.  I am so grateful to live in a country where we can participate in the political process and the governing of ourselves.  Even though I am totally finished with all the political ads and mail and political rants by my friends on Facebook I am still grateful that we are all able to to this out in the open.

Today Facebook is full of friends who are reporting they have voted and companies which are encouraging people to get out to vote.  When I taught my class this morning one of the topics we discussed was who had voted already and who planned to vote later in the day.

It's exciting to see our government change following an election. The passage of power from person to person and party to party in a manner that is civil is an incredible sight and a tribute to the genius of our founding fathers.

So today I am grateful for our political freedom and the ability to freely voice our opinions.  You may be shouted down by someone who has a different political leaning yet that freedom to be able to have our exchanges of ideas is also something for which I am grateful. 

If you have not done it already get out and vote.  You never know when one vote will make the difference in an election.  As you are standing in line take a minute to be grateful for the right to have your voice be heard in our governing process by casting your ballot.