This week I sat before my doctoral committee and defended my dissertation proposal. It was a grueling process where I was questioned about my ideas and challenged to be more "scholarly." After about an hour of questions and suggestions on how to make my ideas better and tighter the committee approved my proposal and signed off on it. Today I received an email from the graduate school that I attend that I am officially a candidate for a doctorate.
All that is left is the gathering my data, writing up the results and then the final defense of my dissertation to the same group of people. One of my committee members challenged me to come back to our final meeting ready to "wow" them with my work. I guess she was telling me that I will not be allowed to just slide through. It makes sense because they sign off on my work as a committee so their reputations will be linked to my final research and writing.
The final phases of this journey have been a classic example of "approach/avoidance" behavior on my part. This is my goal, to achieve a doctorate and complete this final piece of work. Yet I have fought it all the way. One part of me is astounded that I would be in this place. It has been a dream of mine, and I visualize myself completing it, yet a small part of me does not feel that I am worthy of this type of academic accomplishment.
The other demon I am fighting is my propensity toward procrastination. I would rather be doing anything than trudging through piles of academic journals to prove my point as part of my research. Yet it has to be done and if getting a doctorate was easy everyone would have one.
So I continue the journey step by step, making lists, adding more writing to my document in Dropbox and soon gathering data. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, there are only a few more hurdles to clear. I will keep you posted on how it goes.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013
A Member of our Pack has Left Us
For the last 10 years my husband and I have had 2 dogs, Allie and Buddy. They have been our companions, time arrangers, controllers of our schedules (see previous blog entry) and pack members. Buddy, our 15 - year -old retriever mix, had been failing for the last few months. He had severe arthritis in his hips and was being treated by a veterinary acupuncturist for the last several months. The acupuncture was successful but he continued to decline as advanced doggy age caught up with him.
We had to make the tough decision to put him to sleep this last weekend. He could no longer walk and was unable to control his bladder. He just was at the end of his ability to try any longer. He would have continued just to keep my husband happy but was in pain, scared and just did not have the energy to fight any longer. So my husband made the heart breaking decision to allow Buddy to pass from this life.
The vet made arrangements on a Sunday afternoon to help us and we took Buddy for his last car ride. He spent his last day trying to do the things he loved, get a toilet drink, have snacks, steal our other dog's treats and get his ears petted. Yet we knew that every step and movement was taking its toll on him.
Now we have to get through our grief and also help Allie, our other dog, get through hers. She has never known a time when Buddy was not part of her life as her companion and general nuisance. It's heart breaking to watch her look for him as we take our walks, or search the house for him in his favorite places when we return.
I know this grief will pass, we will move on in our lives and keep Buddy in our hearts as a happy memory. I also hope that as my husband and I pass from this life we will see our dogs as we cross from this existence to the next.
Buddy had a long and happy life. We adopted him from a rescue organization when he was a puppy and he lived with us for 15 and 1/2 years. He was not a perfect dog but he was loved and loved us back, especially my husband. He will be missed.
We had to make the tough decision to put him to sleep this last weekend. He could no longer walk and was unable to control his bladder. He just was at the end of his ability to try any longer. He would have continued just to keep my husband happy but was in pain, scared and just did not have the energy to fight any longer. So my husband made the heart breaking decision to allow Buddy to pass from this life.
The vet made arrangements on a Sunday afternoon to help us and we took Buddy for his last car ride. He spent his last day trying to do the things he loved, get a toilet drink, have snacks, steal our other dog's treats and get his ears petted. Yet we knew that every step and movement was taking its toll on him.
Now we have to get through our grief and also help Allie, our other dog, get through hers. She has never known a time when Buddy was not part of her life as her companion and general nuisance. It's heart breaking to watch her look for him as we take our walks, or search the house for him in his favorite places when we return.
I know this grief will pass, we will move on in our lives and keep Buddy in our hearts as a happy memory. I also hope that as my husband and I pass from this life we will see our dogs as we cross from this existence to the next.
Buddy had a long and happy life. We adopted him from a rescue organization when he was a puppy and he lived with us for 15 and 1/2 years. He was not a perfect dog but he was loved and loved us back, especially my husband. He will be missed.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Happiness
Last night I was teaching my Introduction to Psychology class and we were talking about emotions. After reviewing some of the theory behind emotions we focused on happiness. Many of my students were wondering how we can pursue happiness in our lives.
I showed them a video by Harvard professor Daniel Gilbert (the narrator for the Prudential commercials about aging and retirement). In this video, available on Ted.com (The Surprising Science of Happiness) Professor Gilbert talks about how as humans we can synthesize happiness. Through his research he demonstrated that the fewer choices we have in life the happier we are with the choices we make. Later in the discussion we talked about the activities all of us can do to help us realize happiness more in our lives. These steps include:
Many of us have heard that one way to reduce sadness in our lives is to reach outside of ourselves and help others. That is only one of the items on the above "prescription" for happiness. Recognizing and showing gratitude in our lives also helps to lead us to happiness.
I plan to include this list in my notes on my smartphone and try to practice some of these things every day. Even if it is just taking time for a walk in the middle of the day when things are craziest in my life I want to do things that allow me to focus on happiness and not negativity.
I challenged my students to let me know what worked for them this upcoming week. Most of them are working, parenting and going to school so their lives are also very busy. I asked them all to take time to work on a little happiness booster during the week.
How do you achieve happiness in your life? Do you have another item, or items, for the prescription above? If so let me know what you do to choose happiness.
I showed them a video by Harvard professor Daniel Gilbert (the narrator for the Prudential commercials about aging and retirement). In this video, available on Ted.com (The Surprising Science of Happiness) Professor Gilbert talks about how as humans we can synthesize happiness. Through his research he demonstrated that the fewer choices we have in life the happier we are with the choices we make. Later in the discussion we talked about the activities all of us can do to help us realize happiness more in our lives. These steps include:
- Being physically active (increases endorphins in our bodies)
- Expressing kindness
- Showing gratitude
- Being optimistic
- Dwelling less on the negative
- Doing positive self reflection - specifically keeping a gratitude journal
Many of us have heard that one way to reduce sadness in our lives is to reach outside of ourselves and help others. That is only one of the items on the above "prescription" for happiness. Recognizing and showing gratitude in our lives also helps to lead us to happiness.
I plan to include this list in my notes on my smartphone and try to practice some of these things every day. Even if it is just taking time for a walk in the middle of the day when things are craziest in my life I want to do things that allow me to focus on happiness and not negativity.
I challenged my students to let me know what worked for them this upcoming week. Most of them are working, parenting and going to school so their lives are also very busy. I asked them all to take time to work on a little happiness booster during the week.
How do you achieve happiness in your life? Do you have another item, or items, for the prescription above? If so let me know what you do to choose happiness.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Life Outside the Door
I am the manager at a community campus site for a college. Our office and campus backs up to the Indianapolis International Airport so there is a large parking lot and then lots of flat open space for the runways. Yesterday morning we heard a loud bang against our front doors.
Looking out there was a dead bird laying on the sidewalk. At first we thought the bird had just flown into the glass doors and been killed. Then a second later a juvenile peregrin falcon landed on the dead bird. I have heard that they often will drive prey into glass windows to stun them and then will go in for the kill. This young bird did not need to do that because the prey was dead when it hit the sidewalk.
We watched while the falcon sat on its kill for several minutes. My assistant and I were speculating that it was possible the falcon also was stunned by also hitting the glass window when it captured the prey. After a couple of minutes the falcon grabbed the dead bird and flew onto the grassy area at the rear of our parking lot. We talked about how we did not see a band on the falcon and wondered where it had come from.
There are peregrine falcons which nest in downtown Indianapolis but those babies are banded before they leave the nest. So I am not sure where this one originated but he or she was a beautiful creature doing what it was born to do, hunt for prey.
It was exciting to see this swift but deadly bird in action. I was happy that this young falcon did not injure itself in it quest to find breakfast. I was reminded that the circle of life is all around us. My husband is always sad to see some of our wild bunnies or squirrels be killed on the roads around our house. Yet I always remind him that without predators and the danger of cars we would be over run with bunnies, squirrels, rodents and birds.
For us it was a few moments of excitement in a normal Tuesday. I will be watching for that falcon when I go to work. It's possible we will see it again.
Looking out there was a dead bird laying on the sidewalk. At first we thought the bird had just flown into the glass doors and been killed. Then a second later a juvenile peregrin falcon landed on the dead bird. I have heard that they often will drive prey into glass windows to stun them and then will go in for the kill. This young bird did not need to do that because the prey was dead when it hit the sidewalk.
We watched while the falcon sat on its kill for several minutes. My assistant and I were speculating that it was possible the falcon also was stunned by also hitting the glass window when it captured the prey. After a couple of minutes the falcon grabbed the dead bird and flew onto the grassy area at the rear of our parking lot. We talked about how we did not see a band on the falcon and wondered where it had come from.
There are peregrine falcons which nest in downtown Indianapolis but those babies are banded before they leave the nest. So I am not sure where this one originated but he or she was a beautiful creature doing what it was born to do, hunt for prey.
It was exciting to see this swift but deadly bird in action. I was happy that this young falcon did not injure itself in it quest to find breakfast. I was reminded that the circle of life is all around us. My husband is always sad to see some of our wild bunnies or squirrels be killed on the roads around our house. Yet I always remind him that without predators and the danger of cars we would be over run with bunnies, squirrels, rodents and birds.
For us it was a few moments of excitement in a normal Tuesday. I will be watching for that falcon when I go to work. It's possible we will see it again.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
A New Car and the Sync Specialist
So this week I bought a new car (new car for me, newer car in terms of age). My husband's 15-year-old Pontiac Sunfire gave up the ghost and we needed to find something newer. I have not had a new car in years. It was so much fun looking at cars and sifting through what I wanted and did not want. I finally landed on a 2012 Ford Escape. I really like the older Ford Escapes that are on a Ford Ranger chassis rather than the new ones that look like all the other cars on the road. It's a beautiful car and should do well for me.
So as part of the purchase process I was introduced to Alan the Sync Specialist at the dealership. He was the person who showed me how to sync my phone with my car so I can talk and drive without picking up the phone. It also downloaded my contacts list to my car so the car can call someone for me from voice commands and will show me who is calling. Oh my gosh, how cool! I have been having fun with this feature but find it a little distracting. When I was introduced to the Sync Specialist I told him to be kind to me because I am old and not very tech literate.
He was a cute young man and was very patient with me. It was just so amazing that now a part of your car buying experience includes connecting your technology to the car! In the past all that would happen would be someone would show you the features and then send you on your way. Alan said that I could call him if I have problems and need a refresher in how to use the technology.
I am still finding new things in this car and how they work. There are still buttons I am finding that I don't know what they do. I do know that I don't want to spend time trying them out while driving!
So times have changed. I find it amazing how technology is even part of our driving experience now. Yet I also enjoy the quiet of driving down the road with just my thoughts to keep me company.
So as part of the purchase process I was introduced to Alan the Sync Specialist at the dealership. He was the person who showed me how to sync my phone with my car so I can talk and drive without picking up the phone. It also downloaded my contacts list to my car so the car can call someone for me from voice commands and will show me who is calling. Oh my gosh, how cool! I have been having fun with this feature but find it a little distracting. When I was introduced to the Sync Specialist I told him to be kind to me because I am old and not very tech literate.
He was a cute young man and was very patient with me. It was just so amazing that now a part of your car buying experience includes connecting your technology to the car! In the past all that would happen would be someone would show you the features and then send you on your way. Alan said that I could call him if I have problems and need a refresher in how to use the technology.
I am still finding new things in this car and how they work. There are still buttons I am finding that I don't know what they do. I do know that I don't want to spend time trying them out while driving!
So times have changed. I find it amazing how technology is even part of our driving experience now. Yet I also enjoy the quiet of driving down the road with just my thoughts to keep me company.
Monday, October 7, 2013
A Change in Leadership
My husband and I went to Miami University in Oxford Ohio for college. We have had season football tickets for probably 30 years and are avid supports of the football team. Over the years we have had good seasons and bad but we have stayed loyal to the program. For the last three years we have had a coach who has struggled. He took over a team that was struggling but was able to have winning seasons. Even though he is a Miami grad (Cradle of Coaches) and a very nice man (we have talked to him several times) it seems that the team was not improving but heading in the opposite direction. This season we have not won a game (0 - 5) and have been outscored 178 to 44 points in 5 games.
Last Saturday my husband and I were at the game. It was a miserable day weather-wise yet even more miserable was the performance of the team. They seemed uncaring of winning and appeared to be going through the motions on the field. They also had way too many penalties and were beaten soundly by a team that had only won one game so far. Overall it was one of the worst performances of a Miami football team I had ever seen. As we were leaving town my husband and I commented on whether the coach would keep his job.
On Sunday night there was a Facebook announcement that Coach Treadwell had been relieved of his duties as coach and Mike Bath has been named interim football coach for Miami University. My husband was shocked that a change had been made so quickly and decisively.
It seemed that Coach Treadwell, although a nice man and a good offensive coordinator, was not able to build the culture of winning and bring the leadership needed to run a football program. What is that quality of an excellent football coach that transcends knowing the game? I was asking my husband that question and he was unsure what it is but says he knows when he sees it. I guess we all do because we love teams that win. So what is the difference? Is it the ability to lead? The ability to set a culture of winning yet doing it within the confines of college football? I'm sure if someone had the answer they would be sought out and become fabulously wealthy teaching others how to develop a winning football program on the college level.
Last Saturday my husband and I were at the game. It was a miserable day weather-wise yet even more miserable was the performance of the team. They seemed uncaring of winning and appeared to be going through the motions on the field. They also had way too many penalties and were beaten soundly by a team that had only won one game so far. Overall it was one of the worst performances of a Miami football team I had ever seen. As we were leaving town my husband and I commented on whether the coach would keep his job.
On Sunday night there was a Facebook announcement that Coach Treadwell had been relieved of his duties as coach and Mike Bath has been named interim football coach for Miami University. My husband was shocked that a change had been made so quickly and decisively.
It seemed that Coach Treadwell, although a nice man and a good offensive coordinator, was not able to build the culture of winning and bring the leadership needed to run a football program. What is that quality of an excellent football coach that transcends knowing the game? I was asking my husband that question and he was unsure what it is but says he knows when he sees it. I guess we all do because we love teams that win. So what is the difference? Is it the ability to lead? The ability to set a culture of winning yet doing it within the confines of college football? I'm sure if someone had the answer they would be sought out and become fabulously wealthy teaching others how to develop a winning football program on the college level.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Mike's Garage
My husband and I have a friend who is an excellent automobile mechanic. He used to work at a car dealership and then at a neighborhood gas station (one of the few that still have a garage attached). After some physical problems and just getting tired of the "crap" he decided to get a different job and stopped working at a garage.
But amazingly enough the garage followed him. Now when he gets home from his regular job at about 5:15 every night he opens his garage door and "Mike's Garage" is open for business. Recently I was there getting a new air conditioner unit installed in my car. Mike set up a lawn chair for me to sit in as he worked. It was a pleasant evening so I was enjoying the weather and reading my Kindle Fire.
While I was there Mike and I were discussing which heavy metal bands we both enjoyed. He recommended a couple new ones for me to check out. It was not long after the opening of the garage that people started drifting over or stopping by. First it was a neighbor who returned a tool and asked to borrow another one. After a brief discussion about how to do a certain repair he returned home. Then another person stopped by to ask about how to do a home repair and borrow a tool. Then Mike's step son stopped by to drop off some type of equipment. While all this is going on the heavy metal music is blaring and Mike continues to work on my car. I read my Kindle but really was watching the unfolding of the interactions as Mike juggled multiple tasks and conversations.
It was fun to stop and visit at Mike's Garage for that evening. He did get my car fixed (and at a great price). In addition I have some new bands to add to my iPod, thanks to his recommendation. I also got to see a community at work. Mike's Garage is the gathering point for his neighborhood and his family. People drift in and out, based on their need and maybe just the desire to connect. Everyone seems to know everyone and Mike is the focal point of all this activity. He continues to work, pass out advice, loan and accept tools and is doing work he loves. For someone like me, I got a great deal on a repair on my car while having a chance to watch a community in full swing.
Recently I stopped by again to have Mike give me a consultation on a noise I was hearing in my engine. The door to Mike's Garage was open then also and people were gathering. I asked him if that happens every night. He said that those who know him know that if the garage door is open he is "open for business."
But amazingly enough the garage followed him. Now when he gets home from his regular job at about 5:15 every night he opens his garage door and "Mike's Garage" is open for business. Recently I was there getting a new air conditioner unit installed in my car. Mike set up a lawn chair for me to sit in as he worked. It was a pleasant evening so I was enjoying the weather and reading my Kindle Fire.
While I was there Mike and I were discussing which heavy metal bands we both enjoyed. He recommended a couple new ones for me to check out. It was not long after the opening of the garage that people started drifting over or stopping by. First it was a neighbor who returned a tool and asked to borrow another one. After a brief discussion about how to do a certain repair he returned home. Then another person stopped by to ask about how to do a home repair and borrow a tool. Then Mike's step son stopped by to drop off some type of equipment. While all this is going on the heavy metal music is blaring and Mike continues to work on my car. I read my Kindle but really was watching the unfolding of the interactions as Mike juggled multiple tasks and conversations.
It was fun to stop and visit at Mike's Garage for that evening. He did get my car fixed (and at a great price). In addition I have some new bands to add to my iPod, thanks to his recommendation. I also got to see a community at work. Mike's Garage is the gathering point for his neighborhood and his family. People drift in and out, based on their need and maybe just the desire to connect. Everyone seems to know everyone and Mike is the focal point of all this activity. He continues to work, pass out advice, loan and accept tools and is doing work he loves. For someone like me, I got a great deal on a repair on my car while having a chance to watch a community in full swing.
Recently I stopped by again to have Mike give me a consultation on a noise I was hearing in my engine. The door to Mike's Garage was open then also and people were gathering. I asked him if that happens every night. He said that those who know him know that if the garage door is open he is "open for business."
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