A Change of Seasons

Right now it is sweltering hot in the Midwest.  We have had 90 degree days for the last week.  Yet since we are now past July 4th it seems like all the stores are celebrating the arrival of Fall.  Most of the big stores are having clearance sales and it is getting harder and harder to find anything that is summer related, even though we have lots of summer left to experience.  Then you start to see sweaters, fall colors and items for Halloween.  Many of our schools start in the next two weeks so many stores are pushing "Back to School" sales and items.  For me is it just hard to get excited about the arrival of fall when we are having the hottest days of the summer right now.

At least I am grateful that we have only had a few days of energy-draining heat.  Last summer we had a drought and weeks of time where the temperature was over 90 degrees.

This morning I was at a meeting and one of the people there was eager for the start of hockey season.  My husband and I are hockey fans and in the midst of summer we do talk about missing the smell of the refrigerant used to chill the rinks and hockey gear.  If any of you have had kids play hockey or are fans of the game you understand that smell.  Soon the rinks will fill with kids and adults starting to skate for the beginning of the season.  Then we can all get our  hockey fix. 

Right now it just seems that summer is flying by too quickly.  As of today we are one month from the start of fall semester at the college where I work.  This last month will speed by quickly and soon we will be back into the rhythm of fall semester and a new college academic year.

Enjoy the remainder of your summer.   Fall, Halloween and then Christmas is right around the corner. 

Family History

The weekend before the Fourth of July I went to Ohio to visit my sister.  It has been a busy spring and summer and usually if I have time to travel my husband and I will go to Nashville to see our grandson (Ronan the Magnificent).  So the week of the July 4th holiday I took some time off and wanted to visit my sister and just "chill" for a while.  I had a list of projects I wanted to get done during my time off. 

For the last few years when I have visited my sister the visit usually included seeing our parents who were both in assisted living and later my mother who was in a nursing facility the final few years of her life.  Our parents have both passed on so this time we decided to visit the cemetery where they are buried.   I had not been to the cemetery, except for a burial for many years.  Our mother, as did many in her generation, purchased several burial plots many years ago.  It was at the time our biological father died in the late 1950's.  So he is buried there as well as our maternal grand parents.  Later our step-father and finally our mother joined the group after they passed on. 

The cemetery is lovely and serene, with rolling hills and beautiful grounds.  There are no monuments but all of the headstones are set in the ground so all you see when you look across the landscape is grass, trees, shrubbery and the occasional urns with flowers.  When our mother bought the plots she especially liked the fact that it looked like just rolling hills with no statuary. 

So my sister and I took some time to clean up the graves. She had already done some of the work but we completed the clean up and then just stood and talked about our common history 

One sadness that we both shared is that almost all of the people who can connect us to our past are now gone.  We have one uncle who is still living but the generation that is older than us is quickly passing on.  I know that is the "circle of life" yet as I realize that we are becoming the older generation I'm not sure if I am up to the task. 

Older people carried the family history in their heads.  They could tell you about the people in your family who were wonderful and those who were scoundrels.  They were able to connect you to all your extended family and were the keepers of history.  I know that I am not that person.  So as time goes on my son and grandson will know less and less about our history and family.  I'm not sure how to make that better or change how time is moving on.  It's just sad. 

Mornings with Ronan

My grandson, Ronan, lives in another city and state from where I live.  He is currently 5 months old and growing and changing almost daily.  Because of my work and school schedule I only get to see him about once a month, when my husband and I can take a long weekend and travel the five hours to his parents' house.

So my son, Ronan's dad, set up the baby monitor/web camera so I can log into it and check on him.  My favorite time to do this is in the morning when I wake up.  Ronan's mom has an early work schedule so usually I catch them when I get up at 6:30 AM.  They are on Central time (we are on Eastern time) so it is an hour earlier at their house.  So most mornings I get to see Ronan waking up, starting to make noises and move around in his crib.  On a good day I get to see his mom wake him up.  She will often tickle his tummy and make him laugh as he wakes up to a new day.

I am so happy to have these few minutes to check in on my grandson as he starts each morning.  I can see how he is growing and progressing and say a prayer of thanks for this miracle in our lives.  This is one type of technology that has allowed me to pick up my smart phone and check in on my grandson most mornings and just spend a few minutes with him, even though he does not know I am there.  This is technology that I eagerly embrace because it allows me to connect with those people I love even though I am far away. 

Ronan is fortunate because while his parents work he spends his days with his great-grandmother and cousins.  I am envious that I am not there to be an everyday presence in his life.  Yet, I don't begrudge his great-grandmother the opportunity to be with him daily.  He is surrounded by family who love him and cherish him every day.  What a fortunate little guy.

So I will keep checking in on Ronan and getting my daily dose of this little guy.  I have just set up a Skype account so we can chat live.  I'll talk about that when we get a chance to visit online.  

The Stanley Cup and a War of Words

Last night the Chicago Blackhawks won the NHL Championship and the Stanley Cup in the last minute of the game against the Boston Bruins.  I did not stay up to watch the end but caught much of the replays on television and internet.  Good for Chicago!  They are one of my favorite NHL teams.  I know it was a devastating loss for Boston but that is part of the game.

I love the NHL playoffs because in the end everyone who wins gets to "hoist the cup" as part of the celebration. It's such an interesting transition that the NHL employees who are keepers of the Stanley Cup treat it with reverance and handle it with white gloves.  Then as part of the celebration it is handed over to sweaty exhausted hockey players in smelly gear to skate around the rink after they win.  Heavens knows what happens to it when it travels to the parties after the win.

My husband and I got to touch the Stanley Cup and get our photo taken with it at an event sponsored by the USHL which is the league in which our local hockey team plays. (Indiana Ice).  That photo made it on our holiday cards that year. 

The other thing I have been watching this week is the fall out around Paula Deen and her admission of use of the "N-word" over 40 years ago.  Everyone is aghast and her network and sponsors are dropping her as fast as possible.  I am pretty disgusted with the Food Network because in my opinion they seemed pretty quick to condemn her.  I wonder if this is more of an age issue rather than a language issue.  Paula is 66 years old, much older than all their other chefs.  I just wonder if they were looking for a reason to not renew her contract.  I hope Paula is able to withstand this tide of negativity and come out on the other side a stronger, better person.  Personally I do like her, I like her brashness and Southern - ness.  I also like that she loves her sons and includes them in her shows.  

As one writer mentioned it is all right for Rush Limbaugh to call a young woman a prostitute and a slut for using birth control but it is not all right for an older woman to admit she used derogatory racial language 40 years ago.  This just goes to show the gender and age inequality that still exists in our society. 

Hang in there Paula.  Times may be tough now but I am hoping you rise from this a stronger, better person and know those who are your friends and those who are not. 

Summer Solstice

This Friday is the Summer Solstice.  I always find that to be a magical time of year.  It's the longest day for daylight in the Northern Hemisphere.  If you stop and take the time to get in touch with what is happening around you it is almost possible to feel the air vibrating with anticipation for the changing of the seasons in June from Spring to Summer.

Several years ago I was able to visit Stonehenge in England.  It was an amazing sight with the tall stones and the ancient circle.  I stood there and visualized the place teeming with people for a celebration.  Stonehenge is still opened to the public for worshipers to gather in the circle at the solstice and celebrate their ancient religions.  Although I am not a follower of pagan religion it's easy to feel the long history of emotions and celebration in that sacred place.  The stone circle is aligned so the sun rises over the head stone at the time of Summer Solstice.  It makes me wonder at a group of people who were able to study the skies, design the circle and then transport the stones to that place so they could celebrate in their own manner.  When we were there the guide explained that the stones were not quarried from any location close to Stonehenge.  So where did they come from? 

For the last four years I worked at a college campus in the evenings.  The Summer Solstice was a time when unusual things would happen and students would attempt things more out of the ordinary than normal.  I believe that some people are just more in touch with the vibrations of the earth, the moon and the change in seasons.  They find themselves emotionally or physically affected at these times of importance in our yearly calendar.  On the college campus I usually experienced students who became ill, had seizures, got into altercations with others, demonstrated criminal behavior or experienced mental breaks more often around the times of the solstices or equinoxes.

So this week as the Summer Solstice approaches in my writer's imagination I can see people who are worshiping the Earth, practicing their magic,  following their ancient religion,  or dancing sky clad as the Sun and heavens move from Spring to Summer.  Happy Summer.  I hope you take time to enjoy this wonderful season. 

Who Controls Your Schedule

Lately it seems that my schedule is controlled by my two dogs.  Buddy is a 15-year-old Retriever mix.  He has been totally spoiled by my husband.  Buddy is deaf and practically blind.  He has arthritis in his hips and back legs.  Until recently he was taking Rimadyl for pain but started to have liver problems so we had to take him off the pain meds.  So now he is being treated by an acupuncturist for pain.  He gets a treatment about every 4 - 5 weeks with a veterinarian who is trained in acupuncture for dogs.  For a few days after his treatment he is young again, jumping around and feeling much younger than his rather advanced age.

Allie is a Chow-Lab mix, who is nicknamed "her highness" by my husband.  She is the alpha of the two dogs and rules supreme at our house.  She mainly likes me and tolerates my husband.  As is usual with Chows, Allie is very protective of her space and does not like strangers.   Allie's favorite thing is life is taunting Buddy.  Whenever I give both of them treats Allie will hold onto hers until Buddy's is gone.  Then she will shove it away from her until Buddy goes for it.  Then she can growl at him and let him know she is boss and it is her treat.  Every once in a while Buddy will get smart.  He goes to the window and barks like something is there so Allie will run to the window barking.  Then Buddy will swoop in and take her treat.

My husband and I usually joke that we exist to maintain the dogs' schedule.  The day begins with a walk right after the sun comes up.  Then it's breakfast and morning nap for the dogs.  Then they get a noon walk and share lunch with my husband.  Then it is afternoon nap, then snack then late afternoon walk.  Once I get home from work it is dinner for both of them and then the day ends with the final walk and a snack.  What a life!  Deviation from their schedule is extremely stressful for them and for us.  If I forget something Allie will come to me and tap my leg with her paw, telling me that something is amiss and needs to be remedied.

We have had a couple of health scares with Buddy and were prepared to let him pass on.  Yet he was not ready for the next phase of his life and rallied.  I'm not sure what Allie will do when Buddy does pass on because she will not have anyone to bully or taunt once he is no longer here.  Buddy has had a wonderful life and we know his time with us is limited.  My husband and I just hope that his life ends peacefully here at home with all of us who love him (even Allie).

I have had dogs for most of my adult life.  I'm not sure what it would be like to not have my day scheduled by their needs and activities.  Recently a friend of mine lost her beloved dog.  She has said that she will not get another dog right away.  I have found that dogs find me when the time is right for them and for me.  In the end, I enjoy having my life controlled by the needs of my dogs.  Without them I would never know the joy of walking down the sidewalk and exploring all there is to see and sniff (on their part).  My life is much fuller and fun having shared it with these creatures who control my schedule, probably more so than I control it.  

Why are We Still Waging War on Women?

This week I have struggled with a topic to write about.  One thing which has been in my mind started with seeing a video clip from FoxNews where two male correspondents were debating with a female correspond about the topic of women working.  Recently there has been research cited in publications that for 40% of families in the United States the woman/wife in the relationship out earns the male/husband in the relationship.  Many of these men are stay-at-home dads who fill a vital role in that family.  In the FoxNews clip the men were saying that it is the woman's role to raise children and stay home.  They were basically saying that all the breakdown of society is because women have stepped out of their role and started working outside the home.  What century are you guys living in??  Even though significant research data was being cited by the woman in this debate the men were ignoring all that and trying to impose their version of what is "right."  I happened to catch this video on AOL.  Now I know why I don't watch FoxNews! 

This came the same week a group of male United States Senators have been meeting to define when life begins in pregnancy and to impose upon the entire nation a law that abortions cannot be performed after 20 weeks of pregnancy. 

I'm not here to argue abortion, pro or con, or when life begins.  My argument is that why are we having this upswing of men who think it is all right to try and push women into roles they deem as appropriate?  I am tired of being viewed as a cause or as someone who needs direction and guidance.  Why can these men continue to do this to half the population of the United States? 

One time my son and I were having a discussion about social change.  He was lamenting that it seems as if change does not happen.  My response to him was "Mobilize your friends!  Get your message out!   You have the technology to make huge social changes if you work together, register to vote and get your candidates in office!"  He did not take me up on the challenge. 

As women in the United States we have the same challenge.  "Mobilize your friends! Get your message out!  You have the technology to make huge social changes if you work together, vote and get your candidates in office!"  

Right now I am starting a new list in my smartphone memo.  I am keeping track of those politicians who I feel are anti-women or want to impose their view of how women should act upon me.  Elections are coming and I will be working to make sure changes happen.